Turn me on like a light switch, turn me off when I'm off, I'll be on with your touch

I gave up the baggage, I quit making excuses, I gave up the bottle, I'm hitting motivation full throttle and only seeking answers! 8 months strong I cannot do anything wrong, I'm collecting and erecting titles and deeds, just signed on the closing of the third property, this is who I always was but never who was seen! I'm making big moves and it feels good to have the strength, power and courage to do so! It's all just raw talent but until I lost all from the fall I could never stand tall and fearful, the confidence I have now is what I should've  been instilled with, if I had competent parents but let's not focus on the past because I decided already it wouldn't be the last to decide or hide the real me! Started with nothing in 2021 but a broken heart now it's the beginning of 2022 and I have more things to be proud of than things to not be, free is how I finally feel and the difference is the concept and mindset of: nothing seeming possible to the possibilities seeming endless, they started my life as a crime scene but I'm living it like a prayer answered, there's no limit to my self-growth or ability to become someone that should've never been a survivor but:



"I refused to be a lifelong victim, it's just not in my DNA regardless my bloodline. I refuse to be a justification to a bad statistic regardless how unrealistic that seems. The father in me that was born from teenage pregnancy rather than a man becoming a parent to me decided that its time to " MAN THE **** UP" and provide for the rest of the children to come!"

Be optimistic, the bottle is half full. I cannot stay positive! I know I will finish it all and when it's gone so are my morals and values too! The glass isn't half full, my troubles are halfway here! That's the real life answer!

You're so smart, you know it all! Every question in life, you provide a quick answer for everytime. Do this for me, just one time! Think about living a life that requires no response....... A life lived where every single decision is obviously justified! Think about that, just for one time! That's when you hit the jackpot you're living a good life! Time invested to others thoughts, just aren't necessary nor are they scary because the decisions are right! The kind of life where karna is multiplied and not divided, the kind of life that makes you proud to lead and live! The kind of moral compass that never leads to feeling threatened!  That's the kind of thoughts I'm having, those are the kind of decisions I'm making and no mistaking these feelings that back them..........ever!
Because they are real!

The heart wants what it wants but the brain is calling the shots, the mind is pulling the strings. The past pain dictates the subconscious and what it deems safe, the foundation for all decisions made.
All I can say is please learn from your mistakes, how many must be lost before we realize the cost of our unhealthy thoughts?...How many? Among many from the past, she stood out the most! She was the one that I wish I could have back but the heart took the backseat to the brain and all the illusions it made. A dangerous game our minds can play when we don't fix ourselves after being hurt, a dangerous game indeed!

Differences attracted us, differences distracted us. Differences created us, differences defeated us.

Working really hard now, so I can become a *** later .