I hate being Vulnerable
as you can see
each occurrence
adds to my death

I’m ripped open
to bleed out

All over the sky
throughout my halls
splattered over someone’s walls

and I search for the stitches
that will bring me back
to some heartbeat
or even a quiver

Because somehow
I should function
In this Menagerie of Life

after you left me to rot
in the backyard zoo

of your closet

Putting effort in
Law of Returns
Diminishing
Deserving
Caring enough
Falling flat
All the…Yous
All ******* over
It. Me. Us.
But exhaustion reigns
And refills remain
Closed
Break me
From your neglect
Your words
Your mind
Your body
And…Always ok
I Am
Okay

OKOKOKOK

but i want to ….

was that a boy
running down the lane
in that awkward skedaddle
ah! but no
he comes closer
growing sure of step
increased gait
and exposing his personage
the masculinity
now dripping
of confidence
a trail of heat
down into bliss
and alas,
turning into fires
between my cheeks

I don’t believe it’s really true
But I keep searching for it
In caves
On the stage
Behind the door
Through an open window
Perhaps I’ll find it in a closet
Or my shower
I thought I glimpsed it in the north
I keep thinking it really is in the east
Nothing connects
No pattern or concentration
And this is why
I don’t really believe it’s true

wish you would
leave me alone
and I would hate that
want you in my life
but out of it
and away
need your touch
despise it
making me feel like the sexiest
as my ego suffers

I would be all in
and more
I would bring the agony
and ecstasy
You would bring
the joyous devastation

I cried your tears
Filled you with laughter
You gave me

A Yearning

You are the carrot
The oasis
The shelter

Cover me. Feed me. Sate me.

And now….
I know.
And you told me enough.
What I needed to hear from you.
******.
Nothing more. Nothing less.
But hey,
you know,
at least I’m a person.