crawling loneliness
will not reach anywhere
a shoe without a pair is no use
one shoe is no shoe
and I am nothing without you

Probably
we will never get to see each other again
Perhaps
the weather will never be fine again
Maybe
I will not laugh again  
Clearly
my sorrow will always be there
Definitely
life will never be the same
Certainly
you would feel sorry for me
if you could Possibly ever read this
Obviously
you deeply miss me too

And you exist
or seem to exist
one day you will not
and I will again be left alone
by myself
I will begin all sentences
with "I"
and my memories will all be about
me thinking out loud
and no one will ever be anxious
if I ever get lost

Simplicity is the best
life is already
far too complicated
for the ordinary  
like me to decode
I wish we could
resolve the riddle
before you left
or maybe
there is no mystery
and it is just my shallow mind
why do human beings
accept the fact that flowers may wither
but my mind
does not accept the fact that you died?

Life is all about flashbacks
An overly fragmented attack of past scenes
Showers down on me like confetti
As I shut my eyes and escape into my inner labyrinths
Nothingness captivates when all the colorful confetti covers the ground
in scattered masses

The day you passed away
was it a Sunday
or a weekday?
I don't actually remember when I swayed
whether it was late at night I strayed
or early in the morning on the shallow bay
I lost my memory on that very day
when they took you away

Away, away, away
Let's go to the farthest distance and play
our favorite songs and dance all-day
hand in hand in our own way  
we can now be together night and day
until death do us part

my lips have found yours
under the rain
we both have our raincoats
on, the same beige color  
pressing my lips on yours
hold you real tight
when the cat in my arms
hardly breaths stuck between our pleasure-driven bodies
and meows between our trembling souls and racing hearts

in a shallow taken- for- granted-ness
he held her hand loosely
as if she would always be there
to fill his life

tasting and smelling the sea
on your skin
bring back all the sun felt summers
with a deliciously salty sweetness
and a heartfelt unbearably hot passion

poetry is like a cake mold
you bake your emotions in a durable and everlasting story told
first, the sides and the bottom, all the visible, explicit but fluid feelings cook to hold
leaving all the others in the inner, implicit, middle no room, and therefore all become bold
everything domes and rises in a deliciously hardened gold

aching hearts
rupturing
hurting
memories
will someday turn into smiles
when I too die

Read your eyes
Love... in disguise
There is no fear
Or anger
Your eyes reveal the truth
and... sooth
my weary soul
and keep us a whole
Becoming you
There simply is no rue
in loving you this deeply
and giving myself to you completely
listen to your words
like seabirds
I dive into you through a plunge  
and soak whatever you say like a sponge
through each word you utter
or simply mutter
you reveal what is precious  
Diamonds and rubies
Becoming you
and turning into someone I truly love
in a sunshine sort of
vibe
and it takes more than words to describe

words are the worst
like life a blank bracket
you think you plan
when walking the plank
love is the worst hurt
like a-life an alluring alief

You are all very plastic
endurable and elastic
fit all
senseless
cheap
and meaningless
artificial
spurious
fake
and insincere
with crocodile tears
easy to find
all blind
and not refined

The woman in red is waiting for love
                                        blood red love

Ruby, the woman in a red dress
a dress of passion and blood
                                       blood red love

They would call her mad
                             how sad
Ruby owned her story of love
                                      blood red love
passion, pain, and loneliness

Ruby "the insane"
for those
who do not own their own stories
and don't ever truly love
Nobody ever waits for love for anyone, anymore
                                        blood red love

rain washes my ***** aura
cleansing my soul burled
reaches Cora
the queen of the underworld

everything that hurts through  
has now mixed into the soil
making the hydrangea flowers blue
but as I walk all the other flowers wither and trees recoil

while all birds fly away and timelessly migrate
my breath is like a sage smudge filling the air
but rather giving a  burdensome weight
                                                         like a nightmare

Not all boomerangs come back
Some are used to attack
and can be lethal weapons
and threaten
when used by the skilled
many can get killed

your words
whirled
in the air  
found me there
and stabbed me  
your words will not return back to you
as they have already killed me

I gave birth to two beautiful brown eyes
glittering
a smooth skin of silk
and a heavenly smell of baby biscuits and milk
the moment the silk touched my cheek
warmth filled my breath
when the newly born cries soothed
my arms full of love
a bouquet of whitely swaddled hopes
surrounded my entire life
infusing all the flavors
he stared all around with amazement
as the world warmly welcomed him
on our way to his new home  
at the start of a wonderful adventure
I offered my finger to him
and as we held hands we promised
that the two of us would never have to face the world alone
holding each other's hearts forever
here and thereafter

I wear garments
made of different stories
I mix and match
things that have happened
with things that have never happened
I combine what will happen
with  what will not happen
words flow in a totally different medium
in a totally different world

each burial
is hope for a new beginning
the dog buries his bone in the ground
hoping that one day he will feed on it  
birds bury eggs in nests
with the hope that they will produce chicks
I bury bad news in the middle of wordy sentences
with the hope that it will not immediately hurt
I bury memories in my heart
hoping that one day when remembered
my heart will no longer bleed

life is made up of absolute chaos
and humorous incidents
only a carnival can reveal its true nature

seize the day before the day ceases
love me before you leave
and let me kiss you before you die

A fear that I had
to lose you
sometimes washed my soul
when I looked into your loving eyes
this fear can no longer dominate
as I have already lost you
now I fear that you will forget
and regret

I take oxygen and release love out
I cry and release potassium and manganese

You know right?
that little bird does not even care about your death
He will continue to chirp and sing
whether you are dead or alive, he will swing
because a bird realizes grief
only if his pair bond has been broken just next to its wing
still then
after a little while... aw, the docile
he starts chirping
as he has been designed to do so
he cries inside but he has to
tweet, twitter, cheep and chirp
masking the shriek and loud cry deep inside

Sometimes what pierces the heart is a void
winds pass
and storms blow through never-can be filled slits
cavities, pits, and whirlpools
immense, vast, and endless... like space
meaningless time flows
inflicting enormous pain to the coves
of life

When trying to declutter
You clutter everything even more
disrupting the present with the past
forming a bricolage of me through various jammed selves
and adding new crammed shelves to my brain
clogging the blood in my veins
in a never can be reversed way

heads and tails
life and death

White clouds surrounding the crimson flame
Snowflakes coating the red blazing geranium
A pale face with a maroon lipstick
A glass of white wine and cardinal grapes
A white lace dress with burning red roses
A white night with sanguine passions
Cream and strawberries
A cotton ball with blood
White marble gravestone buried in red soil
Sad white funeral lilies soaked in blood-red tears

it is sometimes hard to distinguish
between teardrops
and drops of tear
teardrops help refresh tears
and drops of tear
create the need for teardrops
teardrops fill me with new drops of you to cry

Not that I don"t remember
how you stood in the hallway
and looked at me from away
filling my heart with an amber
like yellowness of sorrow
until that day we’d always been daisy like
in a naturally popped up joy
unexpectedly there like daisies
through many different colors
shining easily in all seasons
truly sunny and funny
and  all cheerful
innocent and pure
Soothing, relaxing and healing
We were playful  “love me or not”daisies
When all were plucked, it was aways a “loves me”
That day when you stood there
everything turned amber
beautiful but cold
Enticing but distant
Graceful but still
like fossilized trees

I can feel
when you glow
the winds blow
the rivers to flow
but death the biggest foe
too growls
When the casserole cooks on the stove

Death literally existed
It was not just
an unhappy ending
in a film separating the loved ones
or nerve-wracking helplessness
in a  novel of despair
death literally existed
in my empty arms and bare hands
lacking you

death-struck love
we have been shot twice
one in the head
one in the heart
massive bullet holes
and life-threatening wounds
I drove us to the hospital
the doctor told "we would live"
but "we would bleed forever"

breathe in
swallow
absorb
all sorts of
poisonous
sorrows
frenzy and
unrest
"you"
is what
I need
crying
does
not help
anymore

Love you in your dreams
and leave you in my dreams
This dream-like state is nothing but a nightmare
"dream" is a homonym meaning dream and nightmare at the same time
Pronounced and spelled the same but hurt differently

life as we know of it is uncountably short
as that of a butterfly's
and my flickering heart
is as fragile as the wings of a butterfly
flapping within temporality
blinded by the dream of reaching you
to remain an unbroken whole
to last

Flagging the truths with words of woes
How could known facts be stabbingly bitter?
Heartbreakingly beautiful love stories flow into rivers and drown
lured by the glittering waters at first deepening all of a sudden at a point where there is no return  
I plunge
I can no longer go back
I cannot envision a world without you
as I plummet I look for your hand in blurring visons
How could this be any different than it is now?
I think about this a lot and  fantasize ways of keeping us alive
One day I am deep down touching the ground next day I simply float in nothingness.
A breathless  brutality captures me when I am down
I frown and drown accepting the depth
Anger helps me to breathe finally
Bubbling gasps become my words
I am in high altitudes deep down
as I suffer in my dyspnea

When marching with the whole lot
I can still move along
With you
My body’s rhythm is always the same with yours
We inhale and exhale at the same time when we walk the same steps
We march along together
My feeble ant steps are strong when I follow you
love keeps us together
When marching with the whole lot
It feels like there simply is nothing and no-one  around it is just you
It feels like you have always been there in all the stages of my life
It is like my egg cracked and the first thing  I saw in the whole of my life was your beautiful black eyes
My little egg life like the size of a period at the end of a sentence became a whole full sentence of its own when you first held me and showed me the way
We traveled all day with the whole lot
But it was just you
Starting with the lights of the new day
I always knew where I was heading towards as long as I had you
And every night we built a nest together
Nights were my favorite
I put my head on your chest and looked up to your beautiful black eyes
I knew that I was not the queen
I was not yellow or red in color
But you always treated me as one
Making your body a nest for me
Through my blurry ant vision
You were always clear and bright
It all started when you gave me an ench-anting smile as we paved along on that fine morning

All celestial beings have met at night
through a stunningly
beautiful mirage  

                                                     planets
                                                     comets
                                                     stars
you-the other-worldly
                                                   ­                             I- the out-of-worldly

Visit me in lucid dreams
                      till I too die

when our hearts blended
under the newly emerging sun
I felt that life
would forever smile on us
you were the blanket over me in a homely,
all warm and loving cozy colorfulness
with all your attraction
that turned home
into a constant first date  "clicking" excitement

Ask me not
dare I tell
in a nutshell
I am unwell
farewell!
on us doom
has been spelled
we have been expelled
though having done no wrong
... now YOU are all I long
for. Singing our song...

Finding ourselves amidst the confusing harmony ornamented by turns and trills, and wildly alternating loud and quiet notes
the unexpected rhythms travel to unexpected places in a chaotic order through clearly heard melodies of life
phases of the world, shifts...transitions
Transitioned, transitioning, transitions
Anticipated and unanticipated changes
Sometimes sophisticated, suave, and civilized, harmonious streams and passages of flowing strings  
And at times abrupt, aback, shocking and drastic, giant strides
speed up and slow down in awe through
fueling catastrophes of exhaustion,
and all the good notes and colors, and flowers and poems, bottles of good wine amassed  
all pleasures and pains will prevail  
as the red carnations shall never wilt

As you hit the keys on the piano
your hands dance with the rhythm
And retain a mystical aura
The alluring tunes of your music awaken the fire flies
As you play they glide
Creating a shimmering glow of aurora

Seeing your photograph
ignites my soul
and that quick spark starts a fire
everything is burning vigorously
and even breathing feeds that wildfire
uncontrollable flames spread all over rapidly
and I die of burning each time

beauty is in the eye of the beholder
when the beholder gives you the cold shoulder
he leaves you with harrowing ugliness that grows older
with a pale face that is dull and sober
look closer
and try to remember
me with a bouquet of forget-me-nots
in my hands

The scar, like that on a 10-year-old’s knee after having fallen in the backyard
is now in my brain after having tripped over life
Compared to that of the child's crusted scab this eschar
is more painful and pus-filled poisoning the whole body.