I can feel
when you glow
the winds blow
the rivers to flow
but death the biggest foe
too growls
When the casserole cooks on the stove

Blooming when no one ever immediately witnessed
Was it yesterday or today that the whole sky turned pink with tints of white paint
You turned my heart into a cherry blossom a  whirl of candy floss laughs and smiles
Renewing my gray memories of love with
rosy balloons and red lipstick
Comfort, warmth, and passion
Smoothing all the cracks with compassion
and filling empty branches with a nurturing hope and revitalizing flushes of first love play-fullness
Spontaneously blooming contentment of joyful femininity
Turning the whole life into a happy sakura celebrating nature and the coming of spring  bragging about how beautiful the world could be if all the barren souls awakened
We started all over again …fresh and new pink buds pushing through
Smiles, laughs and sakuras
A joviality of festive beauty in fruity and sweet flowery fragrances
Short it was too short…and sudden
All the flowers wilted
breathless and dehydrated in a drowning bath of  fears and tears
Snow flakes of my soul
Weeping sakuras

Inconceivable
Compliments on my presence
Blind my dim essence

Cracked my skull like a walnut
Hitting me on the forehead
My water proof skin
did not soak my own tears
When they turned me into a coat
and sealed  my fate

You
withering chamomile
fading, bygone, forgotten
feel the loss of
love
mourn the absence of you.

Ask me not
dare I tell
in a nutshell
I am unwell
farewell!
on us doom
has been spelled
we have been expelled
though having done no wrong
... now YOU are all I long
for. Singing our song...

You really hate it when I text "bye"  

because you feel like I am parting away from you

I will never, ever say "bye" again

if  we ever reunite

black leather fineness complements my shimmering legs
As we ride on the car to follow downtown city lights
Then you smile looking into my eyes
Mischievously, matching mall luminaries on the way beaming bright and brilliant
Laughing eyes under long lashes
Passing through the fleet of cars
We hold hands in the shadowy passage of time love whispers
Without uttering a single line

A fear that I had
to lose you
sometimes washed my soul
when I looked into your loving eyes
this fear can no longer dominate
as I have already lost you
now I fear that you will forget
and regret

Wandering around the hopeful smells of lilies
They are so very you and me
Fresh fragrant pleasant and sweet
But your absence puts me in an awkward position
Slipping in and out of a doze
Through my clouded consciousness
And foggy brain
I can clearly smell the hopeful smells of lilies
They are so very you and me
Fresh fragrant pleasant and sweet
You subtly waft through the room
Ambrosial memories bring you back

beauty is in the eye of the beholder
when the beholder gives you the cold shoulder
he leaves you with harrowing ugliness that grows older
with a pale face that is dull and sober
look closer
and try to remember
me with a bouquet of forget-me-nots
in my hands

I opened the closet
to find your warm hand
in the pocket of the green hoodie that you used to wear
I found two empty mint chocolate thin sleeves
that you kept  
a memory of us on a warm winter day
you were there holding my hand

rain washes my ***** aura
cleansing my soul burled
reaches Cora
the queen of the underworld

everything that hurts through  
has now mixed into the soil
making the hydrangea flowers blue
but as I walk all the other flowers wither and trees recoil

while all birds fly away and timelessly migrate
my breath is like a sage smudge filling the air
but rather giving a  burdensome weight
                                                         like a nightmare

She has always been the midseason
not cold, not hot
not dry, not wet
not cloudy, not sunny
not windy, not still
without knowing this
moderate
and mild in nature
Meanwhile, he has been the dead season
without knowing that he is dead

I have walked
many miles
within myself
towards me
because walking
outwards is
solely impossible

No one wants to hear a bad story
"sad" is the last in their feeling inventory
your sorrow intervenes with their happy territory
and they are already fed up with all that childhood allegory  

when they look into your eyes
they see death in disguise
no one gives them a prize
for listening to your advice
to be precise
the only thing that actually matters in life is a bit of a spice
otherwise
life is all inadequate, vague, and imprecise

speaking the unspeakable, unspoken, and never-to-be-spoken, speechless speeches in an unspeakable way speaks my soul.

I look worn out
Totally torn apart
I'd love to restart
but you now depart
you say "we cannot go back"
and "we need to get back on track"  
would you like a snack
before you turn your back?

We just sat there silently
and sipped coffee
without knowing that
you would leave around this time next year
hummingbirds would sip the most delicious nectars from the flowers
                            and hover, fly and glide in all directions
to pollinate life elsewhere
                                                                    and I would be left without you

Aw the mornings come by and go
through the vapor of the newly steeped tea
Carrying the innocency like that of the baby oil odor
And the freshly sliced tomatoes
Cut to gather the people of the house around
How do I long for you and the mornings we all rushed to catch up with life
A folder full of colorfully sketched moments
Sometimes left in the car to be carried back to kids at school
Decaf coffee sipped with good memories and a lot of laughs
Friends, jokes and giggles, happy smiles
Knowing that my name on the paper cup has been written correctly because you spelled it to the barista
Warms my heart

Death is lurking in the shadows
and grief seems to draw me near you through heart throes
Sorrow bounds me with you I suppose
as your absence glares

Sit back and relax
when you open the pack
there should be no holes or cracks
it should look all bright and smooth
to soothe
and when you touch
your fingertips should feel like rubbing silk to give you a craving sweet tooth

Then smell
and give yourself up to the aroma palette
that makes you feel that you are on a carousel
through multi-layered notes of flavor  
recalling the subtle savor
of your mother's chocolate caramel cake
and the hazelnut and vanilla cookie party favor
with a slight touch of a banana bread
through nuances of fruits and flowers
ruby berries and jasmine incense
lavender, *****, and rose
a heavenly and ***** scent  
and taste bud activating exotic spices like cinnamon and nutmeg  

Then take a bite
and you will be filled with light
you will feel all the wandering sprite
through the luscious strokes that ignite
a tantalizing fragrance and taste with delight

Love you in your dreams
and leave you in my dreams
This dream-like state is nothing but a nightmare
"dream" is a homonym meaning dream and nightmare at the same time
Pronounced and spelled the same but hurt differently

A canvas of paint orchids without colors
no odor nor color
a guitar without chords to play uncord passions
a no-sugar, gross candy
and food without salt
trying to put on a no-fit, way too small ring, and ****** bijoux
pitching hallucinations  
disturbing auditory and visual illusions
without you is all about insanity
a lipogram of taboo words
constant and monotonous anguish
just banal mortality...

I wake up with the blinding lights of the new day
and take a shower to let the water wash away my despondency
I put on makeup to desperately
hide my depression
then look through the window desolately  
to watch the morning dispiritedly
I take my time to prepare a healthy breakfast
and brew tea
steeping extracts all the aroma of my pain

then I sit down and watch your photograph
and gaze into your eyes
praying to spend the rest of my life with you
before I throw away the breakfast
thrashing my heart

Cautious  
You should have been
When uttering words
To someone
Who utterly loves words

I take oxygen and release love out
I cry and release potassium and manganese

On his return
The magic potion
that the hero
brought
poisoned all
it was supposed to be
an elixir of love

The sun dashes through the clouds
and shines on me among the crowds
                                            to hold my hand
not knowing that I am a barren wasteland

my lips have found yours
under the rain
we both have our raincoats
on, the same beige color  
pressing my lips on yours
hold you real tight
when the cat in my arms
hardly breaths stuck between our pleasure-driven bodies
and meows between our trembling souls and racing hearts

We are left with one body only
Where should I sleep?
On your side or my side of the bed?
My side or your side?
Shall I sleep on my right or left side?
I have always struggled to stay on life’s good side
All this happened was a very bad experience on my side
This is just all very bad timing on our side
You told me that you would always be by my side in low tide
And high tide
Now. What should I grieve for?
Your side of the bad or my side of the bad?
My side or your side?
The good side of the bad
is that although time is not on our side
you will always be by my side

Living like the routine has never been broken
keeps hope alive for a while, unspoken  
It is as if reality is not as it seems
and you will come back any minute with the morning beams

I wear garments
made of different stories
I mix and match
things that have happened
with things that have never happened
I combine what will happen
with  what will not happen
words flow in a totally different medium
in a totally different world

Writing one poem after another
to release my pain
in transcendental tranquility
words are the outbursts of hurts
and wordiness buries my anguish
making me live
in balanced serenity
serendipity
blessing in disguise

glancing through my fragile mind
faltering remembrances of you
moor to my snapped soul
coiling one scene after another
every time your smile bounces back
I have been silenced
by the impossibility of not being able to reach you
muffled words echo back
towards a future that I borrowed
roiling images
meek and gentle
quietly remind me of you
and the dragging sweetness of you
fills the air
eluding my pain

love me not
if you cannot
see me not
if you don't mind

The day you passed away
was it a Sunday
or a weekday?
I don't actually remember when I swayed
whether it was late at night I strayed
or early in the morning on the shallow bay
I lost my memory on that very day
when they took you away

Away, away, away
Let's go to the farthest distance and play
our favorite songs and dance all-day
hand in hand in our own way  
we can now be together night and day
until death do us part

We have been lost in each other a thousand times
when sleeping on painted crimson clouds  

and I know that I will get lost
in sketched black labyrinths that have no exit a million times
I hate being stuck in an incomplete draft that will never be finalized

Never forget that once we were lovers
who had hopes and dreams
Always remember that we had a future in the past

I cannot see
or change
anything

all my activities,
history,
photos,
and messages
are  gone
and when I die
all my browsing activity
will too be deleted
It feels like
I have borrowed
someone else's life
and living it
for a temporary while
and I just casually browse
don't want  
the rest to be recorded
incognito
just someone

will I ever be able to find you
if I whirl fast enough
to transcend time and place?

I have an ache and throb in my soul
it wakes me up from my sleep at nights
after it strikes in the evenings
I feel fatigued
restless
and weak

I have an uncontrollable
involuntary
and intense urge to love you

Life does not use commas
It is all about sudden and abrupt dots.
Lots and lots of exclamation marks!
and breath-holding, un-bear-able hyphens
and full of endless question marks
Aw! all will eventually end with full stops
and maybe... ellipses points... if there is life after death...

You are the mangrove
deeply rooted
tides could not uproot you
ebb and flow
could not slow
resistant to all hardship
despite all fault
salt
could not
hurt your scabs
You stood strongly
to prevent all erosion
and let all the fish hub live
pleasing all
with your magical  beauty
brightest greens
livelihood but not the grim
You secured all
creating a sheltered home

this intensifying pain
glorifies
our very existence
which would
otherwise
disappear
in invisible neutrality of taken for granted-ness
drowning
in a love-less
cool-headedness

plain
pure
pristine
simple
sheer
mere
distilled
untainted
unspoiled
my love for you is
and therefore
                                             I am all
naked
naive
****
transparently
see-through

in a shallow taken- for- granted-ness
he held her hand loosely
as if she would always be there
to fill his life

Seeing your photograph
ignites my soul
and that quick spark starts a fire
everything is burning vigorously
and even breathing feeds that wildfire
uncontrollable flames spread all over rapidly
and I die of burning each time

The woman in red is waiting for love
                                        blood red love

Ruby, the woman in a red dress
a dress of passion and blood
                                       blood red love

They would call her mad
                             how sad
Ruby owned her story of love
                                      blood red love
passion, pain, and loneliness

Ruby "the insane"
for those
who do not own their own stories
and don't ever truly love
Nobody ever waits for love for anyone, anymore
                                        blood red love