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Raven Feels Oct 2023
DEAR PENPAL PEOPLE, if we do---

I suggest
a humble
stumble
of a mere suggestion
for us to come
to stop
to deny learning about
the disgusting
magnificence of power
anymore
because if we do
we'll float under it
not within it
so let's just not
already we lack the plot
because we are nowhere
we're not even close
TO it
anyway

                                                      ­                                       ------ravenfeels
Raven Feels Oct 2023
DEAR PENPAL PEOPLE, the golden: (every word meant)

ONE more year
2022-2023
couldn't he?
is 3sixty five days a bit too much to ask?
the moment of leave
the moment that actually defied MATH
ONE of the all left & gone
Do you know what that even means?
my idea of the improvised life
would've taken another 'responsibility'
would've been revived
ONE that would break
the ONE distorted continuity
And I'm NOT
no I'm NOT
NOT talking
Oh no I'm NOT
talking about some lost lover
what it means is even worse
NOT talking about a parent
nor a Mother
I'm talking about my idol person
my life's mentor
a teacher person
a friend human
I told him:
'you inspire us more than you think'
he laughed it off;
knowingly to its mean
into the blink
of which I always think
he knew
he had to leave again
Again to leave
don't get me wrong
I'm proud you see
but again
To Leave
The left
is our bodies
of 6ix, 7even, & 8ight
BODIES
scattered ahead
heads nodding
Improvising
Improvising
Improvising
that's all we've ever known
AGAIN
to the SECOND CITY we reached a fail
because To the reached
to be reached
is a long gone ship sailed
And my old self reads a paper
for some advise to be 'preached'
erasing the once To be reached
DO YOU KNOW THEM FEELS?
the ONEs ought to the golden trumpet's week?
I am weak
define my feels
I don't want to seem
TO BE nagging
but please tell me
DO YOU KNOW THEM FEELS?
the ONEs when you have to press ******* DELETE?
DO YOU KNOW THEM FEELS?
that I've had to thrown in a matter
of ONE alone sick year?
Again to fly
To look up to the SKY
after ONE meet's high
on a February's lie
upon the April's subside
& ONE which June
aimlessly
ironically
denies
DO YOU KNOW OUR FEELS?
DO YOU KNOW MY FEELS?
Dreams get lost
Dreams get crashed
Hearts get broken
Hearts backlash
Reality seeps in
Reality back stabs
I know no control
talk to me
about a stash
about a future
a plasticity
one which I refuse to be
yet I see you
you see
we observe each other
our harmony
long time
in no see
my humor withdraws
the purple room
haunts me
wooden blocks
shatter
me & the latter
our intermediate selves
splatter
cleaning tables
we ate on
we gathered
ONE YEAR YOU SEE
I'd like back my FEELS
of the previous
one, twos, & threes
STILL THE TABLE IS NOT CLEAN
tea 56 times a day
I drink
I swallow
violins know how to play
sad feels on display
follow your follow
out of my head
out of my lane
out of bed
everyday
to the shadow in the wall
I kinda pray
anyway
don't wait for us
don't wait for ME
I suggest we continue
Improvising
my friend
acting that way
(you see)


                                                          ­                                  ------ravenfeels
Raven Feels Oct 2023
DEAR PENPAL PEOPLE, draft#something=

what they knew later
was what I've known from before
& what I've wished to know later
was there wish to have never known
  
                                                  ------ravenfeels
Raven Feels Oct 2023
DEAR PENPAL PEOPLE, from the confused consciousness

three years ago today,
I knew three languages
& the existence of poetry
today ago today,
I know poetry
& some existence of languages

all when
someday
the day stumbled imploring
in
red
blue
& yellow
not even stalling

I never wrote
I just let it slip in note
her wrinkles mocked me in the wry
so all in all I wondered why
did she even plan?
is she an 'is' to begin with?

I see the end, it is coming
just like she said, just like her humming
like the swallow of the oceans
like the potato peel scattered in notion
patterns
darkening lanterns

the night stumbled imploring
in
red
blue
& yellow
not even eventually
the photos burnt
and I kept the leaves

                                                   -----ravenfeels
Raven Feels Oct 2023
Say
DEAR PENPAL PEOPLE, dream:>

let them those
of those of them
of the them those of the they
of the may
of the unknown knowns of the unknown
of them those of the known unknowns of the knows
of the known unknows
of the unknown knows
to take you------
Away

wherever
whenever
however
in an ever
of the evers
even them those of them those of the nevers
just take you------
Away
------------
So you say

                                                  ------ravenfeels
Raven Feels Oct 2023
DEAR PENPAL PEOPLE, draftz:;;;;;;;;;

I aspire for the horizon of hope
for hope itself
for it
I hope for the best
still the best itself
I am not aspiring for
I shall wish for it
aspire for it
yet shall I not live it
shall I see it from afar
yet never the to-be engrossed
in the mist of it
in the midst of it all
because
the moment of the fall
of the horizon into a sky of whole
the full picture of the reached hope
of the so-called they call
(let's say I call it a pit hole,
according to your missed time)
with that
I won't know how to breathe
in it within
in it anymore
it would be the crash of dreams
the mist of the fatal breeze
the one of free
the midst of flee
the place to be
but I know
that it is not
not even a to-be close
for this being for me,
for the shackles of the horizon
remains a reminisce of its remains
the talked about antiquity delivering past trace
a once past trail
that would hail
the almightiness of me
the above golden flee
of authenticity
upon the inauthentic gleam
so if the verge shall I see
shall it be
the ****
the death
the doom
of me
if it shall be the homogeneity
of some picked up pieces
from the heterogeneous scene
the one that created a place
a sphere
a haven
the raven's nest you see
then the question I attest
is the one lingering behind
for what I've wished
to abide
was for the best
so to the one who differentiates
a 'conscience's voice'
where does that turning point locate?
allocate me, d'accord?
from your grave
                                                           ­                                  ------ravenfeels
to Heidegger....himself in the grave
(or no actually, to that version of himself who wrote from that lane)
Raven Feels Oct 2023
DEAR PENPAL PEOPLE, don't look for me, I don't think I'm there:)

since they've asked me
in attack
I'd tell them to
entertain me
with one good laugh
back
my once-upon-a-being sanity
the one that knows no dictionary
of some called rationality
the lack of individuality
been losing it so soon
in realization actually

about that
comes now:
our rational animal problem
is that we talk with our mouths
more than we do with our eyes
is it really an effort of a duality?
thinking that the first cancels the second
or that the second cancels the first
in comfort
when all it is
is the same 'rationality'
like we're stuck in that Pompeii

so don't ask
don't look for me there
I don't think I'm standing
upside down?
but if my mind fails to locate the joke
because of hesitancy in antiquity
then I'd ask you respectfully
to not ask your question
just let me be
initially be in frail
FROM the effect of it or WITHIN it
------
all in trail

                                                          ­                       ------ravenfeels
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