Demons of my past
They ripped out my heart
It happened slow but fast
I feel like I wanna rip everything apart
Guilt, feeling of worthlessness and helplessness
To hell with distress
I'm sinking in this mess
Designed to live in the dark
But what about that spark
The one I felt in the very corner of my heart
Demons of my past
I've won at last
But I feel like I wanna rip everything apart
Why be smart
When you can be reckless
I mean why start
To hell with distress

To the threefold law
To the Crone, the Maiden, & Hecate
Their positive energy & nurture I saw
The children all go out to play
In my hear Hecate may stay
The ******* on Christianity I slay
Lucifer, baptize me unto your blood
No longer stuck in the Christian mud
Hail Lucifer, Master of Air!
Hail Hecate, Goddess of Crossroads!

One day If I were to ever be a parent this is what I would say
Don't worry child
I won't let anyone hurt you
I will be here telling you that you're a masterpiece
To you I will protect to you I will be true
I will try to make the best future for you
If you think you are not enough & you think you need to change it all
There's nothing you have to be
God loves you and me
I'll be there when you fall
I'll be right there when you call

Wanting to be anywhere but here
With eyes filled with fear
Trying to not cry
Trying to be invisible
What did you accomplish are you happy?
With your new "family"
You will always have a room in my mind
A room of hurt & pain, it's not kind
In God I trust, in him I find
In him I find my comfort and my time
I'm sad to say I wish I had never met you
But brother you hurt me over and over... I miss you
I miss what you used to be
Before you let anger overcome you, you can't even see
You can't even see all the people you've hurt

I'm falling, tears, fears to the full
Grow your roses on my barren soul
Oh a beautiful rose, plant the seed in my empty skull

Boy I'd give my life up for you
You wouldn't do the same
Boy I'd go through hell for you
No you wouldn't do the same
Boy I'd walk on fire for you
No you wouldn't do the same
So disappointed
In myself
In me you exploited
Got lost in ourselves
Boy I would do anything for you
But you wouldn't do the same

I miss you far away friend
Unexpected words
Hoping my message will send
Friends forever and ever
May your new life be good and never end
Time together I treasure
Thank you
For everything you do
So glad I knew you
cops and the color blue
may it not come to juvie
Yes Adrian this is the first clue (:

When confusions my only companion
And in my dreams I'm just slowly falling
And even despair hold me for ransom
My pain can sometimes be overbearing
I know its wrong to love inner darkness
But I'm designed to be here in the dark
On my crazy adventures I embark
I'm finding new things like Lewis and Clark
People standing here watching me aflame
A dark flame just turned to my own bonfire

Never let go
Bite my tongue, don't wanna **** anyone off
Stuck with what said long ago
Blood comes up when I cough
Welcome to my world
I can't let go
My wrongdoings is what I just hurled

My life, yeah my heart
Wish it could be sweeter
Yeah my mind and my heart
Wish I was completer
All I wanted was for you to be happy
But this unfinished puzzle
I'm not getting you anywhere baby!
I'm an incomplete individual

With thine chalice and dagger
May the blood rite begin
From life line to fate line you cut across
To the pentacle, To Lucifer I gladly gave in
To prosperity and justice, the upside down cross
Renich Tasa Uberaca Biasa Icar Lucifer
Your power is great, words I am at loss
To Demons, Spirits, Deities, and the Dead I confer
Praise Lucifer! Praise Hecate!
From my beginning to my end
I follow thee, to you I tend

When we are lost in the mess we made
And were out in the dead of night
Blindly swinging a blade
Thinking we are about to be in a fight

I'm cold-blooded
But my heart is warm, full of love
Why are people so jaded?
My head's stuck in the cloud's above
Please don't bring me back down
Cuz the guy I love isn't here
This girl feels like she lost her crown
To be or not to be, thanks Shakespeare

Oh hey there
Are you happy
Or just don't care
Do you like me
Or am I something
You just can't see
Oh anything
Would be fine
But could we
Find the line

HYPNOTIZED
Dumb lies, stupid games
DISPISED
Prisons in picture frames
OXIDIZED
confess my sins with a bitter voice
VAPORIZED
Can't escape my choice

Come on brother stand up and act like a man
Don't play with that girl
If you'll never put a ring on her hand
This time I'm taking a stand

Wake me up inside
Call my name
Help me to the other side
Never the same
I will never be tamed
I don't care that I was unnamed
Wake me up inside
Find me on the other side
Look out world
Here comes a girl with fire
For good or bad I will never tire
Wake me up inside
I will no longer hide
Can feel the darkness
I love it
Knowing I should hate it

Parents... They say I'm too young... Ok
To truly know what love is.. No way!
Yeah that is what they say
But I feel my love for him every day
No one has yet pursued me, so I am still dreaming
To these dreams I am clinging
One day happy thoughts will linger
Cheers to the past, the present, and the future
I suppose I need to save dreams for later
Goodbye to the old dreams of flying to the moon seeing its craters

You should stay away from me
I'm dealing with a monster
The beast is ugly
Once you're in you can never get out

Call my name
Save me from my demons
Don't want a title or fame
Still not free from my trials and tribulations
You think I'm nothing without you
Ha!
Get ready to see me wild and untamed
I'll show you how I really behave
My heart may be scarred
Sometimes there's only so much I can take
But look out I'll show you how I behave
No need to save me
Stronger than I ever was before
Ima bout to get things back in store

You are right I don't know much
But in my heart there is love
For darkness, for Lucifer, and such
Others knowledge to mine, are above
But with the devil I keep in touch

My thoughts are considered abnormal
Though they are normal to me
I don't understand why I need to be formal?
They tell me to think sensibly
I am never here for acceptance
They order, be nice, be kind...
Just shut up and leave me be
You are just mad because I don't know my own ******* mind!!!!!
You say the dead can't hear you
I'm a psychopath, oh my
When you finally face that truth
Open you ******* eyes
I'll light you all up in flames
Don't talk to me when you're to blame
If Hell is really where I came
Then I wonder what the man in white will proclaim

Though I feel blue
And no one else knew
My life is askew
But at least I will always have you

My help comes from you
Your pulling me through
Your my rescue
Your understanding is proof
Don't leave me here to-
Fall into my own darkness
Born into darkness
You are my light
Your are my light when I'm hopeless
When I don't have the strength to fight

The momentous pain every day
Just wanna buy a house in the mountains
I don't belong among the angels - away
My spiral of thoughts overflow - fountains
All I wanted was for you to stay
A dangerous game is what I play
My demons dance around my room
A rose at half bloom
Stuck inside my head
The red paintings that bled
I have internally fled

All the hate
Is this fate
Am I too late
Can't even navigate
Not in a good state
Just leave me be
Can't you see
Don't you agree
This ain't a cup of tea
All this hate...
Am I too late?

Looking up at the sky
Trying to decide
Why oh why
What to do next, will I abide
Love or hate, which side
I want to be near the ocean
To go of the pain I keep in
To hear the waves rushing in
If only I wasn't afraid of drowning
Because if I wasn't I start swimming
Down Down Down
to the deep sea
to go there just to be
To be away from the world just for a minute
Please help us all find peace
I want to be near the ocean
maybe you can come to
To listen to the waves, deep and blue

Tried to get you to notice all that time
Spent my whole life trying to be a ten
That ten's not worth a dime
Now all that's left is what could've been
Now I feel like nothing
Now I'm thinking
There's someone else
Do I move on to the next crush
He makes me blush
But there's nothing left
Running on an empty tank
We sank
Now do I move on
Don't know my next move, I feel blank

God do you hear me, do you hear me
The chains of my past are cutting deep
To be feared or to be love which his meant to be
Why do I feel like I need to hide?
Not you, it's Satan, he's out to get me...
To be enveloped by fire, to be drowned in the deep sea
Please just set me free
Do you hear me on the deadest night?
Do you hear me in the middle of a fight?
Do you hear me when I choose what's not right?
There's a secret side of me, you don't wanna see
God please set me free!
Make it end!
Yeah I'll never let you see
Can't keep it caged forever, God do you hear me!?!
I'm going down I'm going under
Lord I'm reaching to you, come save me
Fearing, searing, dying, crying
Revival, survival, a full out rival
God help me I'm trying, I'm fighting
Do you hear me?
There's a secret side of me you don't wanna see
God please save me!
Make it end!

No one truly see's me
But then you came into my life
For some reason you understand me
You turned my world upside down
And I am so glad you did
Because I'm afraid I'm falling for you
I'm still unsure whether it true
This year you came out of the blue
But we don't have the same beliefs
And I don't know what to do
I'm afraid that if you read this
Things will never be the same
My heart is untamed
To my past I'm chained
I know we can never be
But I will keep dreaming
I hope friends we will stay
If not I know the price I'll pay
For I know it will never be
We are too different but at the same time alike
For I know it will never be

I'm finally free
Yeah I said it out loud
He no longer haunts me
I'm finally out of the crowd
My future I'm starting to see
I have a chance, an opportunity
I am finally free
Thank you God for getting me through this
Thank you friends for helping me
Thank you Thank you Thank you
I love you all
I'm no longer a slave to my own self
I put my pain on the back of the shelf
Though I'm still learning to love myself
I know I'm getting there
Though a lot of my life was unfair
Now I can start
My life has just begun
This time I'm going to walk towards the sun

Don't leave me alone Don't leave me alone
I know that you are prone-
to leave and just abandon me
Even though you don't need me I need you
Oh can't you see
What to do
I hate you yeah I do
You say I don't know what's back
But your heart's twisted and black
Say you're afraid of the future
While I'm afraid of the past
Don't wanna be the last
Evil is your sad crutch
You say I don't know much
Not weak anymore, leave me here, go away
Thought I really needed you
Was a dumb kid, don't want you to stay

Now that it's raining
never stopping
Only to fall
No one to hear your call
your scream
Not waiting
Just saying
I love you
I hate you
I miss you
Always be your friend
Love and hate

I'm a train wreck I'm a mess
Tell where does your love come from?
For more or for less
Friend whatever you become
No matter what you have done or where you come from
Wherever you are I'll hold your heart
Still together even when we are apart
I'll be there when you need a new start
This may be selfish but...
Please be there when I'm falling apart
Even when life disrupts
I'm a train wreck I'm a mess
I still have more things I need to confess
I hope for success but nevertheless
Tell me where does your love come from?

My voice is now filled with wrath
But I feel like I'm finally on my path
Now I know once you have a choice
You hear the voice
The voice of revenge
I will use it carefully, seeing how it can destroy people
You can become dark and hurtful
But you can hear the plea's
Of those you have hurt
Those you kicked to the dirt
Like your friends, and family like me

Separated
In love but hated
Was our love a lie
Nobody could steal
Were we real?

Walking outside to meet you
I wish I could just once see...
You are my dad but I've never met you
We are the same only by blood and looks you see
I know you don't care I just wanna know why you'd leave
You never reached out or does my mind deceive
Once when I was a baby I was your daughter
But now I'm sure you have forgotten her
I will never be able to call you my father
Maybe Julian or just sir
When I was younger you were a far away dream, a wishing star
Now you are just a scar
I know you don't care I just wanna know why you'd leave
Now you're just someone, in you I don't believe

Every time I look at you
I feel like my heart's beating out of my chest
Looking from the outside in
I tried to be my best
But I will try to win
I will have to go up against sin

I was dancing around in the shadows
You saw me and pulled me into the light
You took me to the beautiful meadows
But my loved dark side I could never fight
Without the dark you could never see the stars
Someone I deeply loved gave me darkness
It was darkness that left me with these deep scars
Until I found it was a corrupt gift that made me who I am
Never thought that to you, I'd say thank you...****!

Their eyes were ablaze, the fall: bittersweet
What it felt like
To be in the dark place in the shadow of hell, it made me complete
To feel increasing pain and screams alike
Every morning I wake up in a daze
Falling into the regular faze
Can't get rid of the demons stare
Ripped my heart out, more than I can bear
Can't sleep at night
Afraid of Satan's bite
You can hear me scream, in my utter agony
Was born to be in darkness
Though no one can hear my plea
Falling into the never-ending abyss
Falling for all the devil's tricks
But my own torment is my bliss

Shattered glass on the FlOoR
Dragging me down the StAiRs
Trying to stop you, grabbing the DoOr
There were the sad wooden ChAiRs
_______
Even when they're all staring
And you can't stop comparing
Your life to others
Telling yourself there's something better
Writing like your running out of time
When your day-
is sour like a lime
Wishing your life away
Wishing your friends to just stay
Looking out the window seeing kids at play
_______
Can't get away right now
But certainly time will allow
For me to make my dreams come true
_______
Though feeling blue
My feelings definitely overdue
People passing by without a clue
Running to someone new
Them leaving as if on cue

Looking over my shoulder
Who will come after me
Pain coming fast like a boulder
Tears falling like debris
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder

I give and you take it isn't fair
Down for love and up for air
Show me, show me is what I declare

To figure out what to say
My Familiar, my grimoire, pray to Hecate
"Blessed be the next 3rd quarter moon day"
To release my bad habits
Perhaps some new, to let go in bits
Please guide me to truth in banishing
Lord Lucifer protect my loved one, strengthen me
Lead me to darkness, do not let me flee
That I may gain the key
To some comprehension to demons, rituals, the Goddess three

Broke me in a thousand parts
Don't know where it ends
Don't know where it starts
Guess it depends
On who broke it first
I'm the Queen of Hearts yeah the Queen of Hearts
Heart shattered in a thousand ways
Don't tell me Ima be ok
Still waiting for the first to break
What else will people take
Oh here we go again