I'm finally free
Yeah I said it out loud
He no longer haunts me
I'm finally out of the crowd
My future I'm starting to see
I have a chance, an opportunity
I am finally free
Thank you God for getting me through this
Thank you friends for helping me
Thank you Thank you Thank you
I love you all
I'm no longer a slave to my own self
I put my pain on the back of the shelf
Though I'm still learning to love myself
I know I'm getting there
Though a lot of my life was unfair
Now I can start
My life has just begun
This time I'm going to walk towards the sun

Looking up at the sky
Trying to decide
Why oh why
What to do next, will I abide
Love or hate, which side
I want to be near the ocean
To go of the pain I keep in
To hear the waves rushing in
If only I wasn't afraid of drowning
Because if I wasn't I start swimming
Down Down Down
to the deep sea
to go there just to be
To be away from the world just for a minute
Please help us all find peace
I want to be near the ocean
maybe you can come to
To listen to the waves, deep and blue

Looking off into the distance
Wishing I had a pathway I could run away on
These things don't happen by chance
Things are meant for a reason
Maybe to teach me something
To go over my feeling
I hang on to everything
I hang on to every moment
Good and bad
I don't mean to be sad
I don't mean to be mad
But I am happy
Even with a life on the run
Even with a life filled with hurt, and that isn't always fun
God helps me see the light, the sun
My family is all around the world
Mom says she believes in me
Dad says God's working on a masterpiece
Ian says I would never make it you see
Sara cared about me
Logan was always there for me
My friends had been those I could fall back on
I love you all
Even those of you have only ever hurt me
You had a reason to act the way you did
I hope you will find your purpose like I did

Every time I look at you
I feel like my heart's beating out of my chest
Looking from the outside in
I tried to be my best
But I will try to win
I will have to go up against sin

Shards of broken glass
Staring out the window in the middle of class
Writing like I'm running out of time
Quick but silent as a mime
Tick tick tick goes the clock
I hear them at the door, knock, knock, knock

You should stay away from me
I'm dealing with a monster
The beast is ugly
Once you're in you can never get out

Outcast soul
I lost control
And I don't understand
Why every time I'm pushed
I don't land
I keep falling
And I find myself calling
For someone to come save me
When I want to save myself you see
I fell into a trap
And now I will never get out
I'm hidden just about
When I now try to shout
Nothing comes out
I'm falling and calling
I'm afraid of what people will say
I know I can get through this day
Initiation is gonna hurt
But I will find a way to escape
Without getting those I love hurt
I need to land
And if I keep falling
It's the end of the line for me... But at least I was trying

Wanting to be anywhere but here
With eyes filled with fear
Trying to not cry
Trying to be invisible
What did you accomplish are you happy?
With your new "family"
You will always have a room in my mind
A room of hurt & pain, it's not kind
In God I trust, in him I find
In him I find my comfort and my time
I'm sad to say I wish I had never met you
But brother you hurt me over and over... I miss you
I miss what you used to be
Before you let anger overcome you, you can't even see
You can't even see all the people you've hurt

No one truly see's me
But then you came into my life
For some reason you understand me
You turned my world upside down
And I am so glad you did
Because I'm afraid I'm falling for you
I'm still unsure whether it true
This year you came out of the blue
But we don't have the same beliefs
And I don't know what to do
I'm afraid that if you read this
Things will never be the same
My heart is untamed
To my past I'm chained
I know we can never be
But I will keep dreaming
I hope friends we will stay
If not I know the price I'll pay
For I know it will never be
We are too different but at the same time alike
For I know it will never be

I know I'm running out of time
Yeah I believe in the craziest things
You say I'll never endure of what this world brings
But I still have some time...
I know I will find my wings
Though uncertainty and doubt cloud my sight
I still seek out the happiness, the light
Hola, me llamo Ava... Si
Yeah that's me...
I know love and hope can truly be
Puedo ser valiente
Yes I am even when hate and hurt is all you say
Bravery, hope, and love is what I pray
Dios cree que todos somos guapos
Beauty, love, bravery, hope, yes all of those!
Yes this is what I have chose
Podemos encontrar lo que buscamos
Yeah it may be far it may be close
Termino con Dios entrando en mi corazon

Watching a fallen star
As I drive by in my car
I can see his pain from afar
But he won't let me help him
Though his agony is filled to the brim
Just let me be there for you
Yeah that is what I shout
He doesn't have much only a few
It's like all the love has run out
Every time I try to help him, he runs as if on cue
He wants to be better
So I sent him a letter
Waiting for him to get back
I'm so scared I feel like Ima have a heart attack
Guess we both need to get back on track

Walking outside to meet you
I wish I could just once see...
You are my dad but I've never met you
We are the same only by blood and looks you see
I know you don't care I just wanna know why you'd leave
You never reached out or does my mind deceive
Once when I was a baby I was your daughter
But now I'm sure you have forgotten her
I will never be able to call you my father
Maybe Julian or just sir
When I was younger you were a far away dream, a wishing star
Now you are just a scar
I know you don't care I just wanna know why you'd leave
Now you're just someone, in you I don't believe

You say no I say yes
Should I do it should I not
My feelings are a big mess
It could be better why not
You say he's mean, I say he's misunderstood
He sits by himself, his hood up
But what goes on under the hood
We should all just be friends and not be stuck up

I don't know what to put on this paper
Perhaps I should really start later
For a person who may or may not care
I mean will my poem of my emotion go anywhere?
What if they read them and just have a blank stare
Poems awaken something inside of me
Something not even I can see
Forever I will write, we are one never separately
With my pen I write what's on my heart and mind
Maybe my poems will help someone find
To find what they are looking for
Maybe they are looking for something more
And if not I hope they find it
And if my poems are a bore... Well
They were all just my feeling I needed to tell
I don't want money, no need to sell
But if I could affect someone
A person, even just one
Yeah it would be enough for me
Knowing that I had helped...
Finding that love is true
Finding that you are loved through and through
But will my writing go anywhere?
What will I be able to share?
Will anybody even care?

Pain can be normal
But it still comes in shock
I have memorized its call
I can hear its hurtful mock
You can take place in someone's heart
Never really knew you, an unknown chart
You really tore me apart
You taught me to fear
You taught me to hate the girl in the mirror
You drove me to the cliff
You made me want to die
Yeah pain comes in shock
I can still hear its hurtful mock
But I picked myself up
No I don't wanna die anymore
Memories don't leave, they'll stay forevermore
May be better but I still hate the girl in the mirror
I am still afraid
You knew fear was control
I am still afraid
You knew it would hurt my soul
I am still afraid
Wish you had God but there's no loophole
I am still afraid
Your back and fear is taking its toll
I am still afraid

You're bringing me deeper
You are making me hope
Though the road is steeper
You are the one getting me up the *****
Through the lies, Through despise
Yeah you are making me hope

Love is patient Love is kind
It's hard when we are both stuck in our own minds
Even when I'm terribly imperfect
I wish you knew I was unrefined
Oh I fail to show, but I hope you know
I only want to love you, I do not mean to be oh so cold
My words may cut you to your bone
My hurting heart longs for you alone
I wish for love, I wish for life, I wish for time
Because I need to shine out of who I am
I want to love you... But then
I cannot seem to find the line
I lay myself aside cuz you still love her, I know
And of course I fail to show
I just want to love you
I don't know if I can make it on my own
Because my mind denies the love I know
But I cannot deny the love I have for you
I can't give enough of my, I wish you'd want it...
Cuz if you did I'd give it all
Yeah I'd give it all

When we are lost in the mess we made
And were out in the dead of night
Blindly swinging a blade
Thinking we are about to be in a fight

My heart can be a haunted house
No windows or doors
If you get in you will be lost in a tunnel like a mouse
Hearts as black as feathers on crows
Yeah, get my inspiration from the morgue
The pain of loneliness comes in large blows
Yet it is killing me softly
I don't mean to push you away
But in the end you didn't care anyways
My heart can be a haunted house
No windows
No doors
Once you're in you are trapped
But so am I...
Your done... Your future's mapped
You hurt me, I may or may not finish you
I may be harsh, very true
But you shaped it, you mad you lose
Yeah I'm the Queen of a broken heart
I'll love you if you find all the pieces
No windows, No doors, No windows, No doors

God do you hear me, do you hear me
The chains of my past are cutting deep
To be feared or to be love which his meant to be
Why do I feel like I need to hide?
Not you, it's Satan, he's out to get me...
To be enveloped by fire, to be drowned in the deep sea
Please just set me free
Do you hear me on the deadest night?
Do you hear me in the middle of a fight?
Do you hear me when I choose what's not right?
There's a secret side of me, you don't wanna see
God please set me free!
Make it end!
Yeah I'll never let you see
Can't keep it caged forever, God do you hear me!?!
I'm going down I'm going under
Lord I'm reaching to you, come save me
Fearing, searing, dying, crying
Revival, survival, a full out rival
God help me I'm trying, I'm fighting
Do you hear me?
There's a secret side of me you don't wanna see
God please save me!
Make it end!

A new chapter of love is what I need
Before I see you I adore you yeah I adore you
I hope your what I need
I'm afraid of what my heart will do
I wanna believe I'm somebody new
And try this a different way
And if I don't I know the price I'll pay
Yeah I am very broken
But before I see you I adore you, yeah I adore you
With you I feel as though I'm in heaven
Our hearts make us do crazy things
We all have good or bad endings
I need to be free from my past
Because I'm fading fast
I see your face every day
And yet I'm too afraid to say
That before I see you...
Before I see you I adore you yeah I adore you

I don't wanna be jealous no I don't
But every time boy I see you with her....
I need to push this feeling down, but I won't
Though you don't know, I feel like she's in the way
I imagine her stopping you, telling you to stay
Why does everything that kills me keep me alive?
Jealousy hurts the soul
It hurts like sharp knives
I don't know many who survive
Her words are like honey to you
But I see her trap that will bury you alive
This hurts my heart and my mind
Yet I keep quiet in hope that you will find...
Why does everything that kills me keep me alive?
Why do I keep coming back to this like I'm blind?
I need to let this all go so I can strive
Because I have to survive

I'm tired of chasing perfection
Been going down that road for too long
Looking into the mirror's reflection
Yeah it's time to sing my own song
The old tune can **** the like out of you
If you don't heed my warning it may be you
Wisely choose the road you go down
Choose right and you will find true beauty
Choose wrong and you will lose your crown
Beauty can be seen unless it's blind perception
Ignore the nasty comments said by another
But just like the fairytale the words repeat over and over
"Mirror Mirror on the wall, who's the fairest of them all?"
But she just stared at me, I was her
Silence... I guess that's where I fall

Every night and every day
What's there... Can I find the unknown?
Or should I just stay?
Every night as I'm lying in bed...
What adventure could I be on instead?
An honor to have my heart broken by you...
While I'm wondering what it's like to be loved by you
If you really knew, if you really know
Every night and every day
I try to put my feelings at bay
I'm still figuring out what to say
I'm still trying... Trying to see it your way
This may not be easy or fun
But I can get this done
Every night and every day
I'm wondering what it's like to be loved by you
Yeah you're in my dreams... Yeah you're what I think
What does this really mean... Will I swim or sink?

If you had looked me in the eyes
Would you see the pain deep inside
I feel as though I live my life on the other side
I mean it's hard when all people say is lies
Yet when I wake up it's me
And it all comes crashing down you see
Used to feel as though no one could set me free
….Saying...
I've been pleading to be free for so long!
And is that really so wrong
Being free isn't something you can cater
So I said catch you later
But then you were gone forever
Thinking I could never
I was falling, falling into that deep abyss
Thinking there was you, someone to miss
Never got something special like a kiss
Can't find reality when I'm falling
Can't find you when I'm failing
Can't find you when I'm floating
Away Away Away

Don't let him blow your life away
Yes that is what I say
But when I saw him I hoped he would be mine anyways
Cuz when you near I feel like...
Yeah I feel like you keep me alive
We may not be at all alike
But you awakened something I thought was lost
The magic of love... But it could cost
It could cost my heart, time, and mind
But I'm still wishing to find
To find the line to find my heart
To find what's keeping us apart
I feel it, something very deep within
Something underneath the skin
Still learning more about you
Every day I see you more and more
Every day I see you, yeah I do

How does a moment last forever
How does a story live on
Memories may last forever
But we need to pass them on
Can't express how much I love you
Together were as beautiful as trees in the fall
I'll never forget the time spent with you
I will hang on to it with my all
Dear friends I miss you
You move away and leave me here
Just thinking about you makes me shed tears

You were looking like an angel
But you really didn't care
I let my heart go, I wasn't careful
Now all I can give you is a cold stare
It is so hard because I have to pretend I don't care
Because I know you don't
I feel like this isn't fair
Yet I can't make you have feelings that won't be
I dream and dream and dream
of falling in love like a fairytale
But I know fairytales are for books
And that dreaming is for sleeping
Still every time I see you boy I feel like I'm dreaming
I can't say it's me not you
Because it is you
What hurts the most is I spent so much time on you
When you didn't care
And now I have to be true
True to myself and to you
I really liked you, and you didn't care

Keep my hurt and pain behind a mask
Yeah hiding it can be a task
Only you can really see me
And then there are those hunting me
Which is why I have to leave
I mean 10 years down where will I be
Maybe somewhere in a daze
Maybe hurting like a million blades
Saying what are you missing
I guess it a reminder for me
The voices are talking and I'm listening
Guess I don't care what happens to me
Only the people I care about you see
All our stories down like a book
When all you have to do is look
The ball and chain I'm good being locked to you
Who's really the Queen of broken hearts, yeah who
Maybe me yeah that could be true
Who's gonna let this prisoner out of her cage
Yeah I may not be a sage
But some of the voices are filled with rage
It hurts my ears are ringing
The mask covers my heart the voices are talking and I'm listening

Parents... They say I'm too young... Ok
To truly know what love is.. No way!
Yeah that is what they say
But I feel my love for him every day
No one has yet pursued me, so I am still dreaming
To these dreams I am clinging
One day happy thoughts will linger
Cheers to the past, the present, and the future
I suppose I need to save dreams for later
Goodbye to the old dreams of flying to the moon seeing its craters

Don't really know what to do
Death has died
Yet I can't control it we need to hide
You don't know and I can't tell you
Can't bring myself to tell you
Even when you're the one I want to talk to
The pain is searing inside of me
But I will never let you see
Hard to like my roots, yet you are my family
Disappearing into the distance
How you taught me fear for instance
So many things I can't control...
So many voices so many choices
Even a place in my mind with no kindness
Will I ever find my happiness
The pain of emotion is torture
When will we change our culture
Where is love to heal my broken soul
Where is love to get me through life's cold games
The shadows are covering the sun's rays
Life can look so bleak
You don't know and I can't tell you
But I think I know what to do

Oh hey there
Are you happy
Or just don't care
Do you like me
Or am I something
You just can't see
Oh anything
Would be fine
But could we
Find the line

This ship is sinking
The planks are nailed together with my sorrow
Looking to the water by the railing
Imagining what life will be like tomorrow
Here we go again... Story of my life
Embroidered like initials on a knife
The memories ingrained in my brain
Taunting, always there like a stain
Because I feel you even in the rain
You stick to my heart like tree sap
Yeah I sailed right into your deadly trap
I keep telling myself it will be over, just a mishap
I feel as though I might just scream
I was hoping it was all a dream
Even when things aren't all what they seem
And your unbelief in me
You left me thinking what could be
And now I think I am starting to see
That perhaps it was never meant to be

And we meet again
The one who had broken my heart
My hurt was a ten
The day we had split apart
The memories fresh
I let myself be persuaded
My beautiful friend
But then that friendship had faded
Wishing pain to end
Wondering what is around the bend
Becoming a Queen?
No... We aren't out here playing chess
Oh who will be seen
Please don't have any carelessness
The feeling of alone
Though I'm not alone at all
Sitting with my phone
Talking to those who really care
Though life isn't fair
I hope you find what you're looking for

The light is trying
The fighters are fighting
The liars are lying
The believers are believing
Even when you can't be seen
And your behind an invisible screen
And all there is, is malice
Because when you shoot that arrow it will miss
It will miss me and hit your blank canvas
Your own heart
An unknown chart
One dark piece of art
For all we knew
That one day it would come back and hit you
Your mask is crumbling
And we are done being
We are done being nothing
We are done not trusting
Yes! We are not running
No... Not anymoe
For it was a chore
That had rattled us all the way down to the core
So goodbye forevermore