There is a commitment to an act of resilience
A sense of peace that every act will be as it stands
Like the ever evolving stage door
Closing behind the end of a line that has been said off hand by a player
In his complexity

They know
The end is nothing more
Then a beginning near

I don’t claim to pretend I know
The safety of that harbor
It will come to me
One day
I shall
Keep you close to home
Even when uncertainty
feels like its wrapping me up
In protection wear
Aviators block the feedback
glare

Blankets of snowy days
Endless
And timeless months
Replay
Out of nowhere

As the bloom comes

Because all the men and women merely players: have their exits and their entrances
One man in his time plays many parts
As his acts become all ages

Another world
lives in the eyes of the anonymous soul

The scent of another planet
The people’s
small talk falls into laughter
Unconscious and unheard
Stories
close the book in short and sweet
choppy sentences on the corner
of pavement  
Amongst the pin drop that is
within reach of our isolated
distance
Slipping into the times…  

Playing out equivocal ideals
from political rhetoric to the misunderstood musician’s point of view
Why can't we keep up?
When fashion prescribes the scene of artistic athletics and makes it known
That all “public figures” aren't going cold celebrity has a new meaning that we are just getting to know
Stories that continue to lose hope
In between the hurt
of sickness and home

I've seen the hopeless
I’ve seen the difference between where I’ve been and how far I’ve come

To live in these cities is like preserving your health in an incubated outdoor human pool


The conscious body gazes vicariously
through its every sculpt  
Landing on every stare
Meeting no one's eyes
Walking away in awakening

The living traipse past the
exhausted’s uncertainty

The trauma felt through
those same eyes
Cause the spring of hope to regain itself

Adapting to the times.

In love all the contradictions of existence merge themselves and are not lost.
Only in love are unity and duality not at variance. Love must be one and two at the same time. Only love is motion and rest in one. Our heart ever changes its place till it finds love, and then it has its rest…

******* and liberation are not antagonistic in love for love is most free and at the same time solidly bound.

Taking Down the Mask with healthy vulnerability:

In order to evolve through each experience you need to evaluate

Pockets of Time.

Without change or experience of time there would be no butterflies

Trusting the complexity that will create your newness
Trusting the reality of complexity in relationships
I never anticipated having this kind of innovation or expectation to live the life I imagined, but I rose up to them over and over again like running water falling over my shoulders each day

I made them real and they were seen before me.

Who are we?

There is so much confusion
Even when one stares
into a field
Yet that much clarity

As what is seen above us
Performs a dance
And clouds move as holograms
That curate themselves
Colored icing emerges from mixed figures

They are the hope
In a faith that is not always visible
The breadth in my heart without words to brace
Or images to pray to
Kneels behind shadows of ineffable affliction
These feelings are not to be explored
But they must be observed
They must be heard in the midst of pain and horror for what we go through as human beings...

It emerges in my mind
And hits my body in bursts
As I dream past my days
And try to breathe… that is justified
When I interact with others
It doesn’t always hurt
But it causes the unknown to bring
With it an
Ease when I hear what they say
If they mean it
Less anxious.. That is.. and I believe them
I want to trust in people
I want to love, want to understand
But often don't know
The avenue that leads to
Comprehending
The desire to connect
Is but a passage in time
That only the images above can be content with
The color of cells
On a body of skin
Akin to a body of water
Melts over  
Me like a flaming candlestick in the dim

The flame uplifts with a strength stronger than the desire to know how.. or why.

Spirit Led
Our Bodies forget
The Soul Formulates
But cannot forget
When it remembers
The Spirit of it's own creativity

Erasures from a past turning inward
The present is the “as if” the could be of what might have been
It shifted
It changed
A reenactment
of past choices I made

Made me new
A thought
An act of habit
Repeated over time
Became the resolve

To change my life.
That was all I ever needed to
Bring me back down to grounding.

“What will change me cannot do me harm.”

“When expectations are low, we don’t live up to a standard of aspiration, but when we have both we understand our purpose clearly. That can really help us to believe in them, and at the same time raise ourselves up.”

“A mental emotional shift creates the space for behavioral and collective change.”

The artist finds whatever they need to spark their survival and then live it fully:

Speak your Affirmations with coherence and clarity. Then you’ll have confidence.

🦋  I control my state of mind
🦋  I speak my felt convictions into
affirmative authentic beliefs and pour them back out into the Universe on a consistent basis
🦋  I communicate my wants and needs with firm boundaries so that I am purposefully loved, respected, and trusted by others consciously

“Not knowing the difference between 'acceptance' and 'friendly tolerance' is how we lose out most if not all of the time when we are out of focus”.  #truthsrule

“Acting, like any creative endeavor, is about stepping out of yourself more and more in order to test your own limits, so that you can be authentically who you are at your core. It is the greatest test of the me and the not me.”

“Are you passionate about possessions or core elements? Depth does not end. What you are serious about drives you to be where you are creatively.”

“Unmask your Purpose and let it Breathe.”

“The worth of every story made me.”

“A butterfly’s wings are always filled
with color no matter how blind they may feel. Appreciate your own greatness and
know support will find you in many different rays.”

“Become uplifted in claimed rejuvenation.”

“Remember, you are the razor in a box of erasers. Let go of the past and reclaim what is yours. Do it for your truest self.”

“The most important things to us will leave us if we cannot find ways of sustaining their value.”

“Value is the kind of character in which you live through your intentions.

You have to be intentional about the value of you, for that is the virtue of self, and the premise of I am.”

“When the hologram of everything you don’t want to be (angry, hurt, ill or in despair) is on the other side of your world, even hearing or witnessing these feelings can challenge your mind to appreciate all that you are creating in your own mind and feel that much stronger about who You are and what you’ve become throughout the years.

Remember the route and the cause: to create a new chapter, and that is something to be proud of.”

“Art reflects back to us the nuances of what we are secretly needing from others
who haven’t been able to give.

That is why I am so specific in the details and delivery of all my actions.

I depend on my consciousness to make up for any of those I might have wished to go differently, so that I can create my new world and own it’s peak simultaneously.

Take down the mask and reveal all your truths waiting to be seen, to be heard, to be felt, to be imagined and you won’t feel disappointed by another’s”.

“Movement is creativity and spontaneity
The art of it is release and relieve
Creativity is health
And to be at ease with health is medicine
This is what makes us come alive

Performance is the unguarded feeling of exasperating freedom escaping through the neurons of the mind down to the lungs underneath the nerves down into the cells and out through the heart.

“It is the body in all its forms.”

“ Self-selected Power is owning your purpose; the culture of one’s strength from within.

It is the why before it becomes the how.
The what after it confirms itself by conscious design.”

“Every word, every action can be manipulated and distilled down to its essence.
That is how you differentiate between fascination and creating an intentional relationship based on meaning.
It is a practice of will.
Like acting or any art in its natural form:
pure pressed.”

“Life is about turning your Pain into Power.
Take your pain and use it as fuel and turn it into Power.”

“There is more to supporting someone than "praying they fix something" to make yourself feel better. You must stand firm to your convictions and accept nothing less than meeting your self-standards. This is the ultimate in creation and it works for you in all you do. Not just through events or acts, but in people, which is much more meaningful.”

“Know that this Universe has outcomes in store that, you too, are now prepared to give.”

“All falsely perceived power can do is make the hand bleed that uses it”.

“What is discord at one point of your multidimensional being is harmony at its highest level.”

Regaining your inner power:
“When you use the vision to build yourself you automatically propel your dream.
Then unwanted people and feelings must depart any part of your world”.

“A true creator is a dreamer, a visionary, a leader, an entrepreneur, a winner who just won’t give up.”

“The internal creative force that I choose to embody proceeds intentional effort to create confident external results, and that makes up my life.”

Everyday situations arise
I take them as they come, but I am also intentionally driven to accomplish the goals I’ve set for myself
I hold myself to a standard
Expectations are saviors because they enable us to lift spirits and serve our own purpose
as personal responsibilities to ourselves take hold
The promises we keep in our hearts only to share them aloud
In a wider frame
When times present as challenges
I am resilience
I represent diligently
The inspiration I breathe
To make an impact as motivator
As therapist
As artist
As creator
From my mind
And fluidly into the world - a powerful mode of being

Arrival of a vision- Artist and Expressive Arts Mental Health Therapist

A resilient connected soul is the vein of a wildly creative heart

I was in a museum
Picture framed
Hunger and healing
Into the morning
Into the lives of the living
They were felt pain

In a language not of our making
Strange and incomprehensible
I thought I wanted you to kiss me
Amidst these days with flesh
Bones encompassed by your hurt
Words are not meant to harm
In steamed air
But they made the attempt

Your puppet tongues
Sampled the sounds of rainforests
To swiftly curl into view
Unseen
Anemic
Crystal objects

Feeling Unbreakable

I learned to savour the days like the nectar of a hummingbird
Patient as an unborn child
Eyes staring down
It is finally possible to breathe
All the matter in my lungs
Lifted by the weight of
A new chapter’s
beginning

The words
Vested through falsities
Labeled in cryptic currencies
Smoking and burning the wire

Every year he’d try the same manipulations
Like a deceit that
Used to come back in the form of a cancer
Kept in remission and finally erased


Transferred acts drenched in defeat
Rejection over again
                  
Cannot harm me

I pinned my feelings down and captured them like an insect making its escape
Anywhere but here I said.

I can start again because I came to terms with my freedom. And it feels so good.

The human cost of personal suppression overcomes any fear of not creating your best life, that even the martyred butterfly will reappear to live again and again in the space of love and courage

It will bring in everything like a fisherman’s net at sea

Though the waves do not catch everything
It is up to you to find what you hold onto
there’s just no other way
And I’m still dancing
Because vulnerability
Is not a science
And self-determination is the essence
Of our peace of mind


The truth of relationship
with ourselves
That helps us to define every other
We develop in our lives

And there will be many
That is the fullness of time, full bodied, to live an embodied life that makes each one of us who we are

To test our range
To enlarge our eye’s vision
To keep to it
And to live for the changes we all have the capacity to engrave in the ways we choose to create
That is the transition to transformation

Stay with the intention  
Is learning to look in the mirror

As a circle emphasizes encouragement
it goes around
And
Builds your fort of security

Seeing the likeness in another
And appreciating it’s quality of same
And different
What is the message you have?
That is acceptance

Keeping up with the Sandbags

Realizing it hurts    
         Allows oneself to find
Eyes just judge
         Courageous
Let me express or leave
         Character in a circle unknown
All attempts to connect    
         Exonerates
Ties my bonds up in string      
         Power exhausted
Empties my cup
         To create and understand
         An identity unknown
Teaches me to trust
my tears  
         Memories uprooted from the ground    
persist
Owning them is living  
          Emblematic emotions make me want to feel needed
          Feel what it feels like  
                 to mourn
         And that’s importance

To Be A Sacrificer:

is to Be A Positive Disruptor:

On the Verge of Defeat

And rise still above it

Different Souls: Once Dark and Lonely

Turning the inside out:
Inside out
Caring beyond what is shown
Inside out
The words were my freedom
Freedom.
Inside out

Love, like art is a form of language, and art just as in love dances with the idea of it, as they become one in the same.

My experiences through time spent with men and women and people of all racial and ethnic backgrounds has made love or finding it stressful, and at times, it has felt almost unachievable.

I wanted recognition more than anything else. Hearing the words made me feel like we fit even though I was shaping our interactions and various conversations to fit my own wants for what I thought could have been.
I learned this is held in what I can only be fostered in a solid trusting relationship.

I also learned that love is not held in questioning or asked in questions themselves, am I the most beautiful woman you’ve ever seen?, Aren't we perfect for each other in every way?

These questions weigh down the value of your worth and evaporate the truth of what could be an extraordinary beautiful and unique experience in moving through the journey of exploring love with someone who is also worthy of you too. And as I have learned as with love and friendship, they combine to create the process of seeing yourself in things that are not you and being ok with that.

I have found discovering and rediscovering yourself over and over again is so important in finding a person who truly knows how to love and  wants to understand how to love with you.
It is a journey in loving ourselves through loving another, more refilling and fulfilling ourselves.

This makes us better as human beings in what is such a colored process, both friendship and love, of creating and recreating again.

Wash My Guts: from this Loneliness  

Wash my guts
This swallow never felt so purposeful

Trains myself to be alive
A speeding train feels like my past

Kicked soot
Gone awry

I can't stand here anymore
Too many metaphors
Spinning in my mind


My mind
Stares into scenes I never wished to meet

These are just the patterns of life


Its okay to live even if it hurts
Go ahead
Taste those tears

Put your foot back on the stool

Take your gold tooth out

And fold your hands

Turn your survival chain
Up
back
around

For the family to pass one last time without
Me.

Give up the ghost
I keep going to outside places
Trying to find
The words
I need
to pray

Cause I need something
To find me
Waking
Believing
Being
Your ghost never meant to stay

The other side of a place is a calling
for indifference
That is the other place

I’ve had years of ambiguity
Dark gray rings on laser stripped moonbeams
Tasting the edge of lemon peels
Savouring the after effects on my lips
Like green mint listerine
On my tongue

Unwrapping
the lengths
of my fingers
Feeling like I’ve been tossed away
Still Finding ways of testing
Out
Where the ends connect

Kinesthetic thoughts firing like billiards
Neurons couldn’t keep up
I felt untouched
Without self-worth

Because the specifics have yet to be realized
This was story of my mind
I voided myself

Dissonance felt calm
As wavelengths perused
The earthy sands
Printed their scattered
Particles
Dust flames
Bubbling experiences
Explored moments
Have been the seas
Waiting to erupt into volcanic domes

Lava drenches all that make us: afraid is when the air is nothing but pressure
A temporary frontal sinusitis
Hoping for Freedom from arrested development
Not enough reflection
Felt like Creating everything else
but a still life



I am looking for my other
In another place

I’ve heard for so long:

“You’ve seen so much
Which enables you
To understand so much”


The lack inside
Composed
My cravings
To raise a standard in me
I never knew existed

Acting on all of my learning
Accumulated awareness
as a young adult woman

This is the beauty of  
Transformation

To know when it’s your time
and to do it with care

How to be: True to Love  

Strike me with your electric love.
Create lightning in a bottle, release to feel our energies rushing through
We are beyond this universe.
And Not to be replicated.

Body
The words we call things

What we say defines so much of who we
Claim

99% form
1% human
Listening and reading an outside reality
Observing block by block

Taking it one day at a time

When you get a glimpse of how much observed pain they have
It makes you want to stay away

Flee the scene

Wither into moonlight
Gaslight the words until they feel like …
A dial never received

Pretzel shell our bodies
Collapsed there

Heart to heart
Here
But not for me

Curve em
When they get too wordy
These stories
are…

Hard
wave crushin
on the ear
Repetitive
Like sound bites
Hardened on the inside
threatening to hear

The tone becomes
More and more unnecessary.


They do that thing with their mask on
Corks in the shame
Lasts the night away

Sick in a bed
On a sofa bench
Physical depletion
Hurts the pain
Covers up the fear when there’s nothing left
To say
and a megabit to share
Nobody to blame but them.

Strike out.

But the past and the pastor who told him to keep on prayin’
Stop the lyin’
Embrace the game

Even though it’s killin’ your brain

Like pop up blocks mergin’
From a black jack in the box

And One big sound wave

I’m like a virtuoso
Crippin’
on the break
But I knocked one down
With 20 years to go

I am an unresolved question
With Responses
Ready to flow
Waiting to go
But unprepared to show

Who I am and why I’ve become so unemotional

So burnt out and broken down
When all those blondies used to know
The real me.. now I’m a different Maverick
On the Hill
Father passing
Nothing really matters
He says: I’m cancelling Life out
“And Life has changed for me once again”

Those times
made my story ill
And now all I have is the fear of existence begging me to feel fulfilled
But I never will

Isolation
Attempts to brush away the flashbacks
Of my life
Calling out for help
When glam was my only pill

They’ll move one step forward.
Unsteadily. Still trying to make it.
Running from the shame of their own shadow

You’ve accomplished more than I ever imagined to believe

It is all possible.

And yet “just believing” never helps

I was in a phantasy plane


You knew the landing
page would shift


And bring me back to my life

Take me away

Alive and Glowing

Alive and Ready


This is brain fate
taking action

I would like you to think like a metaphor.

Grow what you want to grow in your garden and not worry about anyone else’s.

The universe causes everything to happen exactly as it should be.
The years have no bearing on when.

We can’t live for hope.
We must live in an unconflicted way.
Not everyone is going to meet the same expectations.

It matters not what we know but how we use it in life.

There is more valued alignment in being this than proving its point.

I can tell you I never fell in love.

But I am relaxing today because productivity is in the mind.