I can’t stop seeing you, I am you.
Our cores intertwined like a hose overgrown in a shed long forgotten about.
One that used to water our garden of Eden.
But now sits collecting dust,
Never patched after a puncture.
Our nirvana in drought.
I saw you today and my eyes watered,
I could see in your eyes the memories flooding back.
Lusting for us to water flowers once more.

Behind the bins
Of my childhood home
Lies my purity

In a bunk bed
In a house not far
Lies my innocence  

In this room
In this bed
Lies the shell of a girl I used to know
A girl I lost touch with
A girl, nonetheless.

You’re something
In the dream I had of you we lay in an open field
I could see no restraints in the land
It ran further than the distance between us
I think that’s symbolic
Is my mind telling me there is no barrier?
Or are you nothing.

The tighter you would hold me in your arms
The harder it would be when you slipped away
Again.
The closer you got to me
The more I could sense you ready to retract and leave
Again.
The elements on our side
The mesmerising shades of led light
The brisk air as we stood on my doorstep past midnight
We knew we were the only ones up
Again.
I asked you to promise me
Not to leave this time
For a second that look in your eye reassured me
Pure and gentle
Bliss
But then again,
This is how it felt last time,
And the time before that.

Oh how beautiful you look
I could stay here for eternity
Your body a blanket
A fire for the winter
Keeping me warm.
Sometimes il remember what you’ve done to me.
How you tore away my independence.
But it’s getting cold
And I need your warmth.

I’m hungry
For love.
For respect.
For self worth.
For touch.
I have been deprived with no control.
For as long as I can resist I can blame my restrictions on me and not you
I need you there, even if you’ve forgotten about the knot you tied between my hands and behind my back,
That I have bruised and bashed my wrists to break free of.

Standing in the middle of the street, pouring rain, wash away my defiled skin. The moon above taunting me, untouched.
I want to be pure again,
Not for you
For me.