I keep coming back to the same question. What do I do with all this pain?
It’s ******* everywhere! It fills my house, and it’s spilling out of every opening, and it’s lying all over the ground everywhere I go.
Since over the years, I’ve been asking the forests to hold it for me, and I’ve sunk it in lakes and I’ve tucked it under the rocks. I’ve spread it out along the city streets, until the shadows and doorways were all full to bursting.
I’ve put it in all sorts of containers and oddities until the pockets of my soul and heart are all bulging and torn.
I’ve put it in drawings, and creativity, and I’ve used it as ink for so many poems and narratives.
I’ve recycled it into love, and compassion and understanding.
But still there’s more and finally, I’m out of room. And now it’s everywhere! It’s just ******* everywhere!
I have a thought
Maybe instead of hiding it or trying to lose it, I gather it all back up. I compress it and mold it.
Walls separate so that won’t work, and it’s the wrong material for stepping stones or stairs. It’s too itchy for a blanket and too unflattering for a cosmetic.
But I think that pain could make a fine shield, etched with the sorrows that came before, and painted with tears. Used to deflect more of the same, but to leave my strong hand free, so I can still welcome the future.
But what a job that is going to be,
I better get started.

JHenry

So many words,
It was an extended eulogy,
Each desperate speech,
More eloquent than the last,
Bleeding out of the heart,
Torn pieces of the soul,
Ravished from the mind,
Words doomed to fail,
That blew away in the wind,
To echo through eternity,
It all had the same meaning,
All held the same hope,
Love doesn’t have to die,
And please don’t go,
But slowly, so slowly,
Acceptance came,
And each turned to go their way,
Because every funeral has to end.

Time continues just the same,
As always it has done,
A different person, a different name,
Under the same sun,
Countries rise and then they fall,
The Earth allies to none,
But gives its bounty to them all,
Nurturing each one,
All will heed our mothers call,
When it’s our time we’ll know,
If we cannot stand, suffice to crawl,
To life or death we go,
The moon remains as it’s been set,
Changing life just so,
Though each of us, one chance we get,
The same as long ago,
As the ocean changes where it’s wet,
And mountains rise anew,
To some a gift, to some a threat,
The many come from the few,
As it has been, before we came,
And what it will still do,
It’s not supposed to stay the same,
But life, it will continue,

JDoyle

Always think with your heart,
To understand the need,
And feel with your mind,
So emotions don’t mislead,
Just listen with your eyes,
To find out what is true,
And see with your ears,
So no one can lie to you,
Now live with your spirit,
Growing better everyday,
And die just with your body,
For it doesn’t know the way.

JDoyle

He built a cage for her out of the bones of their own children,
And how little and compliant she seemed inside it,
Toiling away at imagined responsibilities,
The demons in her mind were all to willing to listen to his,
And his slothful habits never ceased to give her something to do,
A distraught mind and overworked body has little time to examine a cage,
And cage or no, it still should be clean and comfortable… right?
How complacent, arrogant and overbearing he became,
So sure of his singular tactic,
But her gaze was always far beyond the cage, she was only waiting,
Through days of stark clarity, and days on the edge of madness, she waited,
Bones are not steel,
They would weaken.

JHenry

To bow your head in sorrow,
To break down and to cry,
Does not erase tomorrow,
Shows you had the guts to try,
And scars on soul and body,
And wounds that cease to seep,
Belong to everybody,
And they are ours to keep,
Mistakes bring guilt, are painful,
But that is not the test,
An error is not blameful,
It’s how you live the rest,
Though broken and fragmented,
Though jagged and full of doubt,
A soul that is tormented,
Can turn itself about,
You’re a beautiful mosaic,
Each piece a work of art,
Original and eclectic,
Witb a vibrant, beating heart.

JHenry

What is beautiful, defined?
To me it is the sunlight,
Landscapes and life that’s unconfined,

It’s standing for a cause that’s right,
Following a heart that’s true,
And never giving up the fight,

It’s the little acts of love we do,
The nurture of a mother,
And a life that is brand new,

It’s when we see beyond the “other,”
When “I’m sorry” is sincerely,
And we hold onto one another,

It’s remembering another dearly,
Kindness that was shown to me,
And tears of loss, that shine so clearly,

It’s all the wonders of life I see,
The moon, the stars, the rainbows,
The seedling and the ancient tree,

The word “ beautiful” you chose?
To tell me how you’re feeling,
And I think, should I suppose?

That you find me so appealing,
To compare me to compassion,
And to hope and love and healing,

That is just my real reaction,
Such a humbling thing to say,
It brings my thanks and my inaction,

And as for me, though come what may,
I hope my soul stays intertwined,
With what is beautiful today,

JDoyle

What more is there to say?
The sun is shining bright,
The day is getting warm,
Promised a starry night,

Hey there, come on this way!
What else is there to do???
When you are here with me,
And I am here with you,

And we only have one day!
Just one quick life to live,
A minute of your time?
There’s nothing more to give,

And yet, you know I may,
Lead you somewhere far,
To a wilderness unknown,
Or to dangle from a star,

Cause life does go astray,
But we have just begun,
We’ll end up somewhere new,
Where all’s not said and done.

JDoyle

I’m alive upon this earth,
So big and fair and round,
But I’m just a tiny fragment,
Barely needing solid ground,
Isn’t right and left subjective?
Because up is up to me,
So then any road I travel,
Is right where I should be,
Because who knows where I’m going?
And I haven’t got a clue,
Though if you’re going that way,
I might walk awhile with you.
But the path it tends to spiral,
There’s always another turn,
There’s forks and thorns and pitfalls,
But, Oh my God, we learn,
And parting ways it happens,
Throw a kiss into the wind,
Goodbyes are empty echoes,
Only where the new begins,
But I think this is important!
And I promise that I would,
And I ask you humbly also,
Let’s remember just the good,
I think I’m heading this way,
Just because it caught my eye,
The path is an illusion,
Made of hopes and dreams and sky,
And I have misplaced my compass,
It just wasn’t meant to be,
But now that has me thinking,
Does it make me lost or free?

JHenry