This is my body
But you can't touch it.

We never die

These are my words
But you won't read them.

We never die

These are my thoughts
But you can't feel them.

I am consciousness.

When I forget I ever had a body
Will you still make love to me?
When I become a dot in the distance
A speck of dust on your glasses
And I'm flying free
In another dimension
Not knowing who or where I am
And if it's heaven
Not caring
And if it's hell
Still worrying about everything,
Will you find me
Jolt me back to you,
In my drowning
My gasping for breath,
Though there is no water
Or atmosphere,
Will you still make love to me
Anyway you can?

Look at us now
Your body, my body
I'm glad we met
Got to spend some time
In this world of abundance
With all its moving mountains
And flowing rivers
And hopefully we did take
Something of them back
Into our souls,
And of all things
Bumping into you today
Beneath a glorious sky
For a cup of tea
And a walk
As we had done
A hundred times before
Or was it a thousand,
Look at us now,
My body, your body.

I catch sight of a few words
Their scales shimmering
Just beneath the surface
Before they dart away
To hide in reflections
Of trees and sky
So, where do I start ... or end?
I've always liked green and purple
Other colours seem to come and go
Like the mood I have to be in
To eat healthily.
There are a lot of things I can't do now
Mostly things I couldn't do well when I could do them
So that's no great loss,
And don't get me started on dreams,
Which leaves only one constant in my life
Something I couldn't change if I wanted to
Something I can only forget,
Something only a handful of people know about
And might remember,
Which makes it special anyway,
After all, I am only one day older
Than I was yesterday
Where is the harm in that?
So, happy birthday to me.

Before we learned how to read and write
And parables were our social media
Something else did happen.
Whatever you believe
He was still a person
With private moments
Of doubt and fear
Who knew he was in big trouble
That his time was short
He only had this time,
The present,
And every day was the same anyway
Waking up to criticism and derision
And plots to kick him out
Not from a club or a job
But to put him to death.
And if you had managed to drag yourself,
Bruised and bleeding,
Up the stony hill
To where he was staying,
Outside the village,
And told him that your sister was seriously ill and dying,
He would have touched your hand
Looked into your eyes
And said, 'Your faith has healed her.'

You are such a lazy slob
I'm always cleaning up after you
Why should I do all the hard work?
It's always me that has to make the first move
Why don't you sweep me off my feet for a change
Instead of moping around most of the day waiting for some action?
But when you think I'm not watching
I see you dancing in the sunlight.
It makes my eyes water,
Fake tears I know
But there is no denying the chemistry between us
And I can't help myself.
I'll be joining you soon enough
And we'll be together for ever.

There was a more confusing time
Shudder to think
When young ones played
With dolls and prams
And toy soldiers and trains
And all they had
Were roundabouts and swings
And colouring books
And comics and stamp collections
And skipping ropes
And footballs
And pen friends in Australia
And fresh air and the sky
And each other.
It was very easy to mistake
A 'he' for a 'she'
At age eight.

Yesterday came a day too late
I wasn't ready for that,
Tomorrow will be a day too early
I won't be ready for that either,
Better take it one minute at a time.
One thousand, four hundred and forty of them!

Some of us are grains of sand
And some of us are jellyfish
***** and shrimps
And some others are starfish
Anemones and snails
And still more of us are oysters
Worms and plastic bottles
And love is the sea
That washes over all of us.

My fate is sealed
And not with a kiss
Though I am thankful
To him for turning
A blind eye
A couple of times
But I can tell
He's a bit miffed now
That he didn't take
One of those chances
And he's got a contract
To fulfill
So he's asking everybody
I know
Where I like to go
And I am going this way
So if you could tell him
I went the other way
I'll owe you one
And if he does catch
Up with me
I'll say it's a case
Of mistaken identity
I'm not the person I used to be
I used to be courageous
And when I wasn't old
Enough to know better,
Laugh in his face.

Wish I could be here
Really here
In the here and now
And just live every second.
If only they were a bit bigger
I could reach out
And grab one again
Like I did when I was younger.
I'd seen it, just floating
Going nowhere
So I caught it then ran back home,
A whole second in my sweaty  fist.
It didn't appreciate being stuffed
Into a jar
It wanted it's freedom back
To be limitless, to be anything
Anywhere, anytime again.
Anyway, it managed to unscrew the lid,
In the morning it was gone,
Taking half of my years with it.

Hidden but not hiding
I worry about my soul
If it is involved anymore
Or just keeping score,
If  I get something for struggling
Barefoot up this mountain
When I could have worked harder
And saved up
For some climbing boots
And not left my gloves, obviously,
I don't know where
And not let my hat fly off
In the first gust of wind
And thrown away my sunglasses
Because she wanted to see my eyes,
And maybe it will whisper to me
In the dead of night
And I'll remember why I'm here
And get a few points
For blisters.

The Robin is not singing for me,
Better hold my breath
While I eavesdrop.
The path beneath my step
Is not worn away
For my convenience
But I'll keep my head down,
Hope nobody sets a dog on me.
The wind in the trees
Isn't puffed for my hair,
But, what's left of it,
Feels it's stirrings
And I hope my body,
So close to the launch pad,
Doesn't hinder the gusts
Trying to set free a balloon.
I take comfort that the Cumulus
Is leaving nothing to chance,
It  has brought along
It's own blue heaven
To drift along in,
But I'm pretty sure
It would be doing it anyway,
And the river is not even flowing
In my direction,
Still, I will keep noticing things
Listening in to my life.
Someone up ahead calls out a name,
One that I have been known by,
But it wasn't meant for me,
Just another happy coincidence.

I haven't made the anthologies and journals,
My novel won't be in
The book stores any time soon,
My songs didn't get me a recording deal,
The screenplays never graced the big screen,
And I expect if I write you a last love note
It will suffer a similar fate.
And to think I had all the same letters
As everyone else
All I had to do was jiggle them around a bit,
Arrange  them in such a way
That they might mean something
To somebody.

We saw the beauty
And wonder
When we had eyes
And held hands
When we had fingers,
When our bodies tricked us
Into being alive.
And we walked on
When we had legs
And kissed
When we had lips
And said words
When we had ears
And started to believe
In things we couldn't
See or touch,
And we threw ourselves away
When our bodies tricked us
Into dying.

I thought we would always
be ...
Like ham and cheese
Sausage and mash for peas
A double somersault on the trapeze
A warm snap after the freeze
A thank you after a please
A soothing cream for scuffed knees
A handkerchief for a sneeze
A cure for a disease
A pocket for loose keys
Honeysuckle and foxglove for bees
Shelter and shade for trees
A lace curtain for the breeze
...together.

It's all about settling
For less,
The cake tin and juice box are
empty
So we make do
With a biscuit
And water,
And now you have
Brought him on for me
I too have to make
Some substitutions.
The rustling leaves
Will now wake me
And not your touch,
The first rays of the sun,
Giving me false hope
In the grey bleakness,
Will be the smile
I will never trace again
With my fingers.
Later, if I'm lucky,
I can take a cloudless blue sky
Instead of your beauty
And the soft evening rain on
My face and lips
Will be your whispers.
The stars of course
Will remind me of
How far away you are,
I'll settle for that.

The not so tall
Dark, or handsome stranger
Clutches a half empty beer glass,
Peers out at the traffic and people
And sees only space.
He doesn't need the forgiveness
Of a woman
Or mates or casual aquantancies
Or interests and hobbies
A rewarding job
A neat car
A detached house
Or savings for a different
Rainy day.
He doesn't even need
Good health
Or a purpose in life
A reason for living,
Or God,
But there were times
When he did.

In the palm of my hand
Perfection
The stone I stole
From your beach
Forgiving me
For taking it away
From the sand
That cradled it, the sun
That warmed it
The waves that washed
Over it
For thousands of years,
The sublime smoothness
Of its soul,
Not striving to be
A moon or stars
It just IS
Already part of
The grand order
Complete in the universe
In the oneness I yearn for.

What would you do
If all your dreams came true?
Not a small one
Not one of them,
All of them.
What if you could
Do no wrong?
If everything you did
Turned to whatever
You wanted it to?
How would you feel,
What would you think
How would you live,
What changes would you make?
Don't ask me
I'm a million miles
From that.

The dragon checked
His swishy tail
And that his breath
Was still bad enough
To catch fire.
He was all set to go,
To wreak destruction
Once more.
So he looked outside
His lair
And an ambulance
Nearly took
His head off
Then another
And another
And he saw the people
Coughing into their masks,
In the morning drizzle,
And he sensed
Their fear.
And he thought,
If they are already
Half scared to death
Where's the fun
In that.
So he went back inside
For another hundred years.

For an hour before lunch
I'm the centre of attention
This is my time to shine
Beneath the spotlight
On the operating table.
They say my name
In hushed tones
And then whispers,
I hope I make it.

She texts him four times at work
To remind him not to forget
Tea bags when he goes shopping,
And cucumber for the fish
And her prescription
And to send him three kisses.

He's back home now
And she glances up from her sewing
And TV
As he puts the food away
Gets the washing machine going
Feeds the dog
Starts the meal
Takes out the *******
Makes her a cup of tea
And helps her with her pillows
Before serving the food.

He's clearing away now
And washing up
And making her another tea
And taking out the laundry
And locking up
And fetching her blanket
And helping her adjust
Her magic chair
And she kisses him good night
And half way up the stairs
He stops to check his phone
As she sends him
Another three kisses.

I built this room
With my own two hands.
It has everything I need
A bed, a chair and table
And a window to see outside.
I can live or die here
Without being a bother to anybody.
I made this life
With my own two hands.
It has everything I need
And a window to see what I'm missing.
I will live or die here
Without being a bother to you.

The falling sparrow
Puffs out it's chest
To try to slow its descent.
That's not working,
Doesn't even know
What pride is before a fall.
It tries an air current,
Oh for a gust of wind
When you need one.
It wouldn't even care if it was blown off course.
What course?
Maybe flapping it's wings
Will help, or gliding
Like the hawk
Silhouetted against the sun
Or is it a kestrel?
The sparrow never could identify big birds,
That's major league anyway.
But that wouldn't be so bad actually
If one of them grabbed a leg or something
Anything but it's head.
At least that might slow things down a bit.
And a seagull now
With its already blooded beak
And two crows.
They would be perfect
If they each took a wing
And flew very gently
To their nest.
Then that wouldn't be far to fall at all.

I try to be a good person
But probably I've let you down
And upset you countless times
Not to mention
The one I will feel most guilty about,
Dying.

Sorry, you must be mistaken
You don't know me
And I certainly don't know you.
I wasn't born yesterday you know?
So we could never have met before now,
This is my first day
Make that my first minute
So let's not waste it -
Who broke whose heart anyway?
I have no memory of yesterday
No hopes or fears for tomorrow
So just be with me please
In this second.

For everything we have to put up with
Get along with or move on from
Regardless of injury, hurt and pain
For keeping believing in something
Greater than ourselves
With only prayers to offer up a clue,
And settling for any crumb of comfort
And for not losing our human spirit
If there isn't a God
We definitely deserve one.

Whiny and moany
Selfish and ungrateful
Needy and snooty
And loving.

Who was it who said
People are problems
So the less people you know
The less problems you'll have?

Surely that can't be right?
And who was it who said
There is some truth in everything?

Cheetah flying through the tall grass
Hawk lofting on thermals
The wilderbeast dragged to ground
Doesn't feel victimized.
Mouse scampering under an elephant's foot
Monkeys swinging in their jungle playground
The lion sunning himself in the wilderness
Doesn't feel superior,
Doesn't feel special.
Human dropping a test tube
Bats hiding their secrets in caves
Are we all creatures with souls or not?
So when a virus crosses a few boundaries
Why wouldn't it?

Don't call me in
Like I need my tea
And a bath before it
Like I've lost track of time
Or I've been too naughty
Don't call me back
Like I've got something better to do
Somewhere else to be.
God don't call me back
Like my time is up
Not just yet.

Worcester has the earliest settlements
Of anywhere in the
United Kingdom.
Crazy to think that
People were walking
These streets
And going into
McDonald's
Five thousand years ago.

The shushing
Of cars on the main road
Like waves and pain
Zoned out
To get us through the day
Like stars in the daylight
Overpowered quietly
By the sun's rays
Making me squint
Blurring a language
Garden birds know
Nothing about
As they fuss instead
About a few seeds
And a bowl of water
And squirrels arguing
Over a handful of nuts
And who buried
What, where
And all of us
Sharing a passage of time.

The images you capture
With the shutter
Of your eyelids are

The sounds that come
From your lips are

The ground that you
Walk upon is

The love that you hold
In your hands is

The bed where
You lie is

The time that
We shared is

But you are not
Of this world.

Soap was the best present then,
It was restricted so that the fat
And oils could be saved for food.
Let's share out our week's rations,
4 oz of bacon, 6oz of margarine, 2oz of tea, 8oz of sugar
And 2oz of cooked meats,
And wish each other Happy New Year
For it means something this time
As it did in 1944
The last Christmas before World War II ended
When thoughts were already turning
To those of a new time,
Not heralded in with trumpets
But with hushed prayers
When no one was watching,
When people just like us longed
For an end to the fear and uncertainty.
So let's wash our hands of the old year
And hope for the best.

Sepia not technicolour
We've lost the joy.
It's all worry
And the best we can hope for
Is to have less of it.
We need to be more spontaneous.
When was the last time you bought flowers for yourself
Or jumped out of a plane without a parachute?
If you can find a frozen lake
Dancing across it might be enough
To get you started.
Let's see how much love
This life will take
Before the ice starts cracking
Into a cheeky grin.
Our arms and legs feel like lead
But really they are made of rubber.
Start with some toe tapping
To the music
In your head,
Next maybe a shuffle
A little jig,
Now we're holding hands.
Is that even allowed?
We're all dancing,
And I don't even dance.
Let's see how much love
This life will take.

I glimpsed your world,
The flyovers and intersections
The skyscrapers and palm tree
Lined avenues,
The traffic lights stuck on amber
The sun bouncing off windscreens,
The weather insurance on the side of a bus
The bikes being loaded onto a truck,
The new museums awaiting artifacts,
The air conditioned lives
Craving a sea breeze
For here land and sea are one architecture.
And I dreamed myself asleep
In a chair at your bedside
And all the moored yachts
Their sailless masts
Pointing for me up to smoke puffed clouds.
Your love is the hurricane
I am waiting for.

Running too fast
With wobbly legs
And icy cheeks
And tiny frozen feet
I'm falling
Tripping into pain.
Helping hands
With kind voices laughing
Picking me up,
Masking concern,
Not like the laughing
Soulless wolf.
Then I go again
Tricking pain
Keeping it at bay
Before I learned how to pray,
Learning too slowly
I'm falling
Hands down this time
On all fours
And behind me as always
The wolf again,
Blood shot eyes
Scouring for stragglers
Teeth stained with blood
In anticipation.
Helping hands
Picking me up
With kind voices laughing.

Father you led me down the path
I knew at first
But then it veered off
Crossing others I didn't know existed.
Sometimes the path was too steep and narrow
Dark one minute then too bright to see the next
But these weren't seconds
They were the years
I spent always looking back
Trying to get my bearings
Searching for signs,
And I have never felt so lost.
You led me down the path
And left me there.
So now I must go on.

A hundred and forty
Happy birthday me!
Funny thing is I don't feel
A day over a hundred and ten.
So I'm going to spoil myself rotten
Bacon, sausage and egg
Flavour crisps for breakfast
Five cheese pizza
Flavour crisps for lunch
And asparagus in wine and steak
Flavour crisps for dinner.
Crisps! I love them
They changed my life,
But personally, for me
There is never enough salt.
I always carry some with me
So I can have a little sprinkle.
And Maddy is over the Avian flu now
So we can meet up.
She was quite ill for ...
Oh, a good few hours
I told her not to feed the swans
But that is her all over, reckless
And she's funny about her age,
As if it's some great secret or mystery,
She always tells me she's ten years
Younger than me
But she's got to be at least a hundred
And fifty, if she's a day.

Here we come
Clanking up the path,
We are the jailers.
Find a closed door
No problem
It's not even locked.
On we go
This one is though,
No problem
Try the first key
Easy
Keep moving,
Another door already
First two keys don't work
Third one, perfect fit
Keep going.
Another door
And nothing fits it,
Strange.
Ah a window
Opens easily.
Climb up two storeys
A bit scary
Just make it
Hope it is worth it.
Keep going
Next door is padlocked
It wants us to know
It is locked,
No keys for this.
Do a swop with the people behind us,
They've got what we need
Maybe ours will help them
Who knows?
On we go
Another padlock
And no windows.
Turn around
Back out the door
We came in,
Keep going.
Another door
No lock, just won't open
Strange
Turn around.
The door we came in
Is locked too
Side door, see where this goes,
More padlocks.
Then a door opens
In front of us
Opens easily
Opens even as we approach it
The last door always does.

Five minutes into the journey
Someone in the back pipes up
We need to go back
I forgot my phone.
Not ideal, but fair enough.
Nobody ever says
Oh wait I forgot my body.
Before sandwiches and suncream
And all the other essentials
Bodies are top of our lists.
They get to go everywhere,
See everything,
They are our pal, our best friend,
Or could be.
We even try to find someone to love them,
How selfless is that?
But it usually happens
Sometimes early on
Other times later,
Wariness and suspicion creep in
We would rather keep them
At arms length
Because even when they are doing their best
We know what's coming.

Not Creedence Clearwater Revival
Have heard nothing through the grapevine,
I am dreaming white sands
The jewel in the crown.
I want to wake up at the Hyatt Regency
With nothing to worry about
And be the first down
To the lounge chairs and beach umbrellas.
As long as the lizards don't get me.

I want to wake up with nothing to worry about,
Head out for some paddle boarding and swimming,
As long as the jellyfish don't get me.

I want to wake up with nothing to worry about,
Go across to Honeymoon Island
For some hiking and shelling,
As long as the lightning doesn't get me.

I want to try out all this marvelous food,
Eat my fill on the beach
As long as the ants and cockroaches don't get me.

I want to go on a beach walk,
As long as the alligators don't get me.

I want to go dolphin watching,
Take a trip on the pirate boat,
Try some skiing and scuba diving,
Anything to take a break from the spiders
If not the snakes.

I want to visit the marina
And marine aquarium
As long as the mosquitoes and double headed bugs
Don't get me.

I want to be the last person with you
On the pier
And hope the sunset gets us.

The summer is all hey
I'm hot, check me out,
Look at me,
But the winter
Is otherworldly.
With its cold and rain
And sleet and snow
And ice and fog
And frozen mornings
And long dark nights
It's always trying to tell us something more,
That's where the story is.

You can keep your pyramids
And Hanging Gardens
And statues and temples
And mausoleums and palaces
And museums and Colossus,
It will never be New York in the snow
Or the Grand Bazaar in Istanbul,
No chance of asking a wise man anything here,
But this is my river,
As much as it's anyone's
And it's very humble,
Whisper it,
It's the longest one in the country.
Swans try not to make too much noise
When they take off
And salmon do their best not to jump too high,
People on boats and barges
Only give little waves
And Cathedral bells have to toll the hour
But they try not to intrude on timeless afternoons
Where, whisper it,
Kings and Queens once walked.
And it's where I go everyday to remember you.

And they wore streamers
And tinsel in their hair
And baubles on their belts
And angels around their necks
And gave their present money
To the dispossessed
And prayed for those they wouldn't see
And gave twice as much love to those they did
And forgot about Christmas that year.

I was one of the lucky ones
Used to be part time mainly
As and when really
Maybe a Thursday or Friday
The odd weekend
And very occasional night away.
Since when did getting
And staying well
Become a full time job?

Started something big today
Something miraculous,
The acorn I planted
In a little tub on the windowsill.
And the bigger the tree gets
The smaller I get
The older it gets
The younger I become.
Until the day
It's as big as a house
And I scramble up it,
Not even noticing my scuffed knees,
Only the million leaves,
Feeling so safe,
Not really lost at all,
I only have to keep going down
And down
To find the ground again,
If I ever wanted to.
And I will sleep easy amongst the stars
Happy I started a forest,
Did my bit to save us all,
Until the day
I can no longer reach
For branches and clouds
And I slip gently
From the encompassing arms,
To lie forever in the shelter and shade.

This is my last match
And my last candle.
I will light it
To keep this love alive
Before it becomes
Embedded into my heart
And when that gives up
Into my soul.

Clever monkeys have learned to talk
And write and sing and dance.
Most of them are not very good
But it makes them happy.

Other clever monkeys have built roads and houses
And schools and hospitals and offices and factories,

And cars and trains and planes
So they can get there and back quicker.

And other clever monkeys have left
The rainforests alone.