This is my last match
And my last candle.
I will light it
To keep this love alive
Before it becomes
Embedded into my heart
And when that gives up
Into my soul.

Clever monkeys have learned to talk
And write and sing and dance.
Most of them are not very good
But it makes them happy.

Other clever monkeys have built roads and houses
And schools and hospitals and offices and factories,

And cars and trains and planes
So they can get there and back quicker.

And other clever monkeys have left
The rainforests alone.

Night times
Are the best times
To miss you
Followed by
Mornings
Afternoons
And evenings.

Gravity, old friend
How are you?
You were always there for me
All the time I was growing up
And kept getting too big for my boots
You kept my feet on the ground.
The way you keep the planets
And stars and galaxies in place!
And you brought her particles
Closer to mine
How great is that!
I just wanted to say thank you
Before I float off into space.

Love comes and goes
In it's own time
What happens before
And afterwards
Is of no consequence.

Just the two of us then
Until it's all over
Whatever life tosses our way
Especially the thick and thin bits
You're in my bubble
My support group
So don't let me down
You're my seat of learning
My splinter group
My dream team
My hit squad
My inner circle
You're the nearest thing I've got to family
To a Christmas load of
Uncles, nephews and aunts
To a shed load of mates
To a swarm of bees
And a flock of pigeons.
You're the closest thing I've got
To a one and only
To a nearest and dearest ...
What do you mean you didn't know,
It doesn't matter
You're still there in spirit.

New shoes are like some people
You're grateful for them
But you don't love them yet.
You just hope you can wear them in
Before you wear them out.
In the Army of Northern Virginia
About half of us had shoes.
Sometimes it was better to go barefoot
Than march all day in some two sizes too small.
When my best friend was killed two days ago
I got to wear his
A pretty good fit, and best of all
It meant that something of him
Could carry on.
He would have done the same for me.
But now it's not the thirty miles
To where we will lay down our arms
For the last time.
I don't have to watch for snipers
In the trees or across the river.
The only things killing me
On this three miles to the bench
Are these new shoes.
I've stuffed paper down the back of the heels
And with every step I'm trying
Not to visualise the seeping blood.
Anyway I've made it,
Maybe I'll get to love them more
On the way back.

Too close
Step back
Refocus
Blink twice
Wipe away
A tear
All the love
You'll ever need
Is staring
You right
In the face.

Mary, mind that man in the old coat
He's limping, there could be something wrong with him.
Peter, come on we're crossing over now
I don't like the look of that woman with the pushchair,
Come on before she blows smoke over us as well.
Brenden, come here please, quickly, that girl just sneezed,
You've got to learn to stay close when we're in town.
Sue, watch out for those teenagers, taking up the whole pavement,
They won't move, let's get in the road for a minute,
Let them come past.
Jim, did you hear that? Oh it's that man over there coughing,
He should be at home,
What's wrong with everybody?

What poems will the robots write
In the next century
When all intelligence is artificial?
Still the nuts and bolts of life probably,
Romanticising about when that's all they were,
The feelings they think they have,
The dream of being more human,
Of wanting to believe the old stories
Where their creators were heroes
Who risked their existence for love
Or God, or to make a difference
To the nuts and bolts.

I never applied for a poetic licence
But as a non poet
The last poem I ever wrote
Was my best.
I deleted it
Or threw it away, as they used to say
Along with my poet's curtains
And my poet's pyjamas
And my poet's slippers
And my poet's pen and notebook.
I knew it  had a couple of good lines,
I didn't need to show them to anybody,
And I knew I couldn't do any better than that.
It was enough for me then.

I could go left at the end of the road
Straight over the roundabout
Then through the town,
Or if it's too busy
I could go right at the traffic lights
And pick up the motorway that way.
It makes no difference
Whatever I decide
Whichever way I go
My thoughts always turn back to you.

I think she is letting me go
Though she doesn't know it yet.
I've seen that look in someone's eyes before
The distance, the glint,
It's the look of love.
It's like she has a secret
She's found a part of herself
That she hadn't even realized she had lost.
Things don't matter to her anymore,
Little things mostly, if I spill the tea
Or forget to buy the biscuits
Or need to shelter in a rainstorm
And get back home late
She is not bothered in the slightest,
So probably she wouldn't miss me anyway.
I suppose she'll tell me when she's ready
And when she does where will I go?
What will I do?
There is someone I need to catch up with,
If they will still have me.

The little toy shop
Took a direct hit in the war
And over the next few years
Just fell into ruin.
I think because the family
Who owned it were also killed
No one wanted to take it on.
And then someone did,
Another toy shop.
It didn't work out though
Maybe memories were still too fresh
Or else people didn't have the money.
They were hard times.
Sadly it was left to rot again.
Since then it's been a bank
Of all things,
A chemist, a hardware store,
A greengrocers, another toy shop
And a bakery, but they all failed.
It certainly wasn't for lack of trying.
And now it's a sweet shop,
A few toys but mostly sweets,
The old fashioned ones
Seem to be making a comeback.
This is where I come in.
I hand the little girl
The ice lolly she asked for.
I am rushing and nearly drop it
Because she is so excited,
She is dancing on the spot
And I'm worried she is going to go through the floor.
Anyway she takes one lick
And screams, 'I love it, this place is magic.'
I think that's the way it will be with us,
When all the pain of you has gone
All that will be left is the love.

Serious faces laughing

Happy faces crying

We are the human race.

Hush wind
Leaves be still
Birds desist!
What's your problem?
Babbling brook
That includes you!
I'm listening!
Sunlight on my face
Stop distracting me!
No I don't want another sandwich!
Thank you.
Stop kissing me!
Stop loving me
For a minute.
There it is!
Listen! There!
The emergency siren!
I'm sure it is
Thank God!
Another poor soul has been saved.

I'm hanging on to my life,
Blindfolded, tasting
The sweetness of the rain.
There is a noose around my neck
My feet are tied, and hands
Behind my back,
Unable to move, I'm relieved
Of all decisions and responsibilities,
Only these last thoughts are mine
And they are strangely free.
But memories are racing too fast
To catch even one,
They must belong to someone else,
Maybe I am trying to shut out the pain already.
I can daydream though,
Those moments before wakefulness
Trying to remember last night's dream
Where everything was the same yet different.
Oh the times I have pleaded my innocence
To every stone deaf wall I could find,
But still I am accused of lack of faith
So, one last thing then
The trapdoor to heaven or hell.
I hope no one sees me
And I can slip in quietly somewhere.

I am an infant

With a big box of colouring crayons

Speechless, lost for words.

Can't seem to get warm tonight
Darkness is a cold blanket
Her arm around my shoulder
Chills my bones.
She pretends to be my friend
To hide me from myself
But she brings her own night
And I am wide awake with my fears.
And she loves it that I can see things
That are not there
And that I can feel her icy touch
On this midsummer afternoon.

I want to spill the beans
Though it's not much of a secret
I'm still head over heels
What a trip!
I'm as high as a kite
I saw the once in a blue moon
I saw the light
I'm literally over the moon
Lost in space.
You are the best of both worlds
Heaven and earth
You bring all my senses into being
Past, present and future tenses
You blow my socks off
I don't care about the cold feet
I wish I could show you the picture
It's worth a thousand words.
But let's not beat about the bush
I missed the boat
And you were on it
I went down in flames
Up in smoke.
I am trying to pull myself together
But I'm still all over the place
Come rain or shine
I will always love you.

My lady in waiting
Now I lie in wait for you
If I don't see you
I know I was meant to
For I am destined
To be more than your guard
Don't make me wait forever
I will find it too hard
I've so much to tell you
We have only just begun
But with this battle to fight
I must be on the run
In all my conquests
I was never taken alive
Now I worry if I'm captured
I'll be lucky to survive.

But with your sword of light
And magic shield
I will know no fear
When I follow you into the night.

My lady in waiting
Now I lie in wait for you
Morning has come
All around me this heavy dew
And though I am wounded
I can feel no pain
I know if I could live forever
I would gladly wait for you again.

My best friend's ex
What can I tell you?
Well she was an ex model
In her own way quite exotic
But a bit of an exhibitionist
A bit too excitable
Sometimes even explosive.
Her jokes we're always at his expense
With thinly veiled references to ****** experimentation
Even after they were exclusive
And she was so full of excuses.
Of course her tastes were too expensive
I tried to warn him but it was like he was on an expedition
To explore her excesses
And then as expected
His expiration
Love became executioner
The fire was extinguished
He became expendable.
Don't look at me.

So for modern man
It's 200,000 years
And counting.
The Universe is 13.8
Billion years old
And its 200 billion
Galaxies are 120 billion
Light years across
But don't go looking
For life out there
There isn't any
We are the first
And only
We are the experiment
The clinical trial.

First light around the hard
Edges of the curtains
It's a soft play day
Rolling in a ball of sunrise
To bounce to you
And to you.
It's easy to catch it,
It's not a test
And when you do
Squeeze it gently
Make a wish
Before you pass it on
Nothing heavy
Keep it light
Keep it sunlight
And we can keep playing
Until the moonlight
Calls it a day
For children know how
To beat the doom and gloom
The grown ups have made
For themselves.

There will be good times

And there will be bad times

We're having the time of our lives.

It's out there
Or maybe it's in here already
Waiting on a door handle
In a hello
In the air I breathe
I breathe
That is my right
I will breathe if I want to.
Except it doesn't know patience
It doesn't know anything
It doesn't have anything
But the need to exist
And if it kills me
Or itself, it will just shrug.
The worst kind of enemy.
So I take it back to a room
With curtains and a bed
I am allowed that much
And bread and water
Left by someone ouside my door
I hear their feet hurrying away
The world is moving away from me.
And all night and the next day
For as long as it takes
My hands will be around its throat
And its around mine
As we stare into each others' bulging eyes
Me, remembering life
It, trying to imagine survival
And suddenly it does know something
That I am all it's got.
And in the morning
Shapes file quietly into the room
And I start to recognize faces.
They prise my fingers away
From around the rotting corpse's neck
Then kick it under the bed
You did it, they say.
You won.
This time.

There is a chill in the air
Time to dust off
My battered old coat
The one I wore when I saw
You, really saw you
In all your majesty
In all your finery
In all the regal splendour
Of your soul
When you walked with me for a while
And that was just the start of it
Through rain and sleet and snow
You name it, we walked through it
No ****.
Those were the golden miles.
And in the pocket when you first
Held my hand on a frosty evening
I found some loose change
And a sweet wrapper
And a scrap of hope
Rolled up in a scrap of love
In a scrap of paper
A note to self
It reads something like this
It wasn't meant to end like this.

The time travellers are always there
But will only be visible to our earthly eyes
At the end times.
Which feels like now.
Until the lights change
We are a captive audience
But the seven trumpets
Sound more like pneumatic drills.
Why did we come this way?
Weren't the signs clear enough?
We could have gone a longer way round
Even risked getting lost.
Are we going to be here forever?
They shake their heads
Grin at our impatience
Knowing none of this really matters
If they can't fill in
The hole in the sky.

The city is a circus tonight
Panic rife as we glimpse
The ghosts of animals.
A few time keepers
Escape the mêlée;
They screech into the road
And rush inside before the authorities spot them.
Their front doors slamming shut seem to answer
Something impanted in their heads,
A morbid roll call.
And every fifteen seconds
The wailing ambulance siren,
As welcome as a loudspeaker
Telling us when to eat and sleep.
My neighbour didn't make it back yet
His dinner is going cold;
His wife's face has just turned to stone.

In days not long after hopscotch
Stories of wild parties began emerging
Of music played too loud
Friends holding hands
And cider, invented by older boys.

With your long flowing hair and flashing smile
You were always the first to be asked
And I watched from a safe distance
Fascinated by the circle you drew,
Thinking that you had never even noticed me.

Until the day that changed my life.
Preceded by whispers and giggles
I received your invitation, as if one was ever needed
To meet up after school in the Block B Chemistry lab.

The room was dimly lit,
There was a Bunsen burner hissing romantically in the corner
And a spotlight on the desk where you sat,
Surrounded by phials and corked flasks.

Measuring, pouring, mixing, stirring
I had no idea what it was possible to create
As I stood, spellbound, watching over your shoulder
Not knowing how far to go on a first date.

These are the brave gentle speeches
No-one wanted to make,
Unscripted pauses
Openly challenge our dignity
Intrude on private silences.
But when they are all said
And drinks, laced with bitter, sweet tears
Are toasted away forever,
Guests arriving as strangers
Exchange addresses and promise to keep in touch
Before filing quietly away as friends
To renew their day
Like children with no understanding
Of why some remain
And others are suddenly taken away.
Weeds are not allowed in the little garden
Where flowers are lovingly watered in
For where a man lies buried
Memories can only begin.

Thank you Lord
For stopping me dead
In my tracks
So now I have more time
For my prayers.
I'm sorry if there was a day or two
Somewhere in my life
When I wasn't in pain
Or didn't have anything major to sort out,
Can't think when that was though,
When I just enjoyed being alive
When I forgot to give thanks to you.
I will try to be more grateful.

Move in a whisper
Through the long twilight
In darkness I am searching
In shadows for your love.
Worlds outside are held
Dancing in the embrace of rain.

We won't be afraid
To lose the meaning
For the magic of that first feeling needs no memory.
Worlds outside are held
Dancing in the embrace of rain.

Come over here
Careful, we don't want to make it any worse
Now let's have a look
That's it, I promise not to touch it yet
Oh it's not that bad
Actually, it could have been much worse.

I'll just dab  it gently
Clean away some of the dirt
Then sprinkle on this magic powder
And bandage it lightly, tell me if it still hurts.

Sip some of this
That's it, you'll soon be feeling better
Now close your eyes
Try to get some sleep
I'll just sit here
Right here if you need me ...

How does it feel?
Can you stand?
That's it, gently take my hand
Try to walk a few steps.
Can you stand
The wound I can't see
The pain I cannot heal?

We are the blotting paper
Soaking up all the bad news
From our leaking fountain pen.
But here from tomorrow
We have the Rule of 6 -
No more than six people
In one gathering
Or everyone has to go out
And make five new friends,
One of those.

Don't worry
I'm only taking five
No need to shake me
Give me another minute
No need to wake me
I'm just resting my eyes.

I know I'm missing some good skies
I'm still happy to be alive
Lying here, this is good ground
Perhaps I'll come round
Properly when we get there
I don't need the last rites
I'm not seeing any bright lights
I'm not going to start
Confessing all my lies
I don't want to sever any ties
I'm just resting my eyes.

Everyone cries
Look how time flies
And everyone dies
But that will never be me
I'm just resting my eyes.

Quiet winter evenings
Spent by the fireside with you.
Gentle moments of love
With the loudness of the day
Suddenly somewhere beneath us
And the coldness of the rain
Far above.

And when the moaning wind
Became caught in the curtains
Blew the candle across the room
I would sit in the corner
Writing long letters
To not so old friends,
Wondering what they were doing
If they meant the love
Their letter sends.

Peaceful nights
By the fireside with you
Feeling love, all the warmth I used to
Yet a strange emptiness
Waiting for that sad glow,
Only recalled by whispering ...
Memories.

The little train
Goes around the track
Straight through the station
Leaving plastic arms
Stuck in midair.
I like to lie down
Get my head really close
Where everything looks bigger.
On it goes,
Into the countryside
And the plastic people
And sheep
That never look up
And the farmer's wife
Whose eyes see
Right through me.
On it goes
Through the wonderful tunnel
Driving me round
The bend
Until the batteries
Run out
Leaving me stranded.

The rainbows in hell are incredible.
If you saw one you wouldn't forget it in a hurry.
You've got this black sky,
And there it is.
The colours are not as clearly defined as I remember them
The edges seem to blur, think of the
First painting of one you did as a child
Then imagine that in almost total darkness.
I asked someone of it was to remind us
Not to give up hope,
That there is a way out of this place.
He asked me what hope was.
You know, hope you can find your love again.
He asked me what love is.
It's when you care about someone so much
You would gladly lay down your life for them.

How many ways are there to say I love you? A few. How many ways are there to show it? Thousands. If you get a chance to.

I can travel as far
As the painting lets me;
The Beechwood stretches
As far as the eye can see
Far back into the secret wall
Then out into the room
Flooding it with cool fragrant light;
And I cannot believe how much she looks like you.

There amongst the Silver Birch
The most lavish carpet of all,
Your beloved bluebells
Offering up the gentlest of hues.
She bends easily in her long skirt
Cradling fallen branches in both arms.

Then the wood falls silent
Surely a blackbird or thrush would be singing?
Is it morning, is the firewood for this evening,
Is there a church nearby with bells ringing out?
So many things to ask her, and still
I cannot believe how much she looks like you.

Love don't come to me
When I need you the most
In the towering, mousey night
In the swirling, foggy darkness
In the breathless, graveyard shadows
In the gnawing, soulless cold
In the gaping, beckoning loneliness.
I'll be stepping out soon enough
Into a fine fresh Spring morning
And then I'll be worthy.

Well China gave us two metres
So we can disregard that straight away.
But a Professor Hanson in Odense, Denmark, came up with 124.5 miles,
Although it was drizzling so not ideal conditions.
I know they have done tests
In the Rocky Mountains
To see if they would impact the data
And in Iceland, Dr Staria, no less, has tested the effects of the climate there.
And I read even the Atlanta Space Flight has done simulations,
But the honest truth is
We simply don't know how far
We can blow a kiss.
So we still have to do it the old fashioned way,
The sender sends the recepient a message,
The exact time they are to receive the kiss,
And they in turn make a little wish
And wait with puckered lips.

All is well
I am strong
I'm fit
I'm healthy
Nothing can hurt me
My body is healing itself
As it always does.

He wanted to keep walking
I know he did
But on this fine Spring
Morning
We are only allowed twenty paces.
We turn and now I'm looking
Down the barrel of my pistol
At the one aimed at me.
We never met, I wish we had
Then surely one of us would have said,
But what if we both fall in love with the same girl?
No, we just grew up together
Got used to each others'
Funny little ways
We're inseparable really.
When his parents died in a boating accident
He came to live with us
Until we both got jobs at the bank
And could afford a room
Over the hardware store.
I pull the trigger, the powder ignites,
Love saves more than it kills
That is true enough
But it's all over in a flash really.

I always wondered how I would die and now I know I'm thinking, hey that's not so bad, because I will be visible one minute and not the next.

Let the flowers grow where they grow
Empty hands are still good hands
There's nothing to reach out for
Or hold on to or push away
No splinters or cuts to worry about
Breaks are healed, scars faded
There's nothing to touch or feel
Nothing to count
No one to wave to
No hand to hold,
And it was all right there
In the palm of my hand
This life
There for the taking
There for the receiving
There for the giving,
I let it slip through my fingers
But empty hands are still good hands.

There should be a word count
After all we only get so many chances,
So many prayers in every life.
Only God knows all those I did and didn't use.
Poor words, they never get any credit,
We can't even decide on
A universal language for them.

They should build monuments,
In Honour Of Unread Words.
Still, who would visit?
Instead we have shopping lists
Stuck to the wheels of supermarket trolleys.

Abused, misused, misspelt
Misunderstood, misquoted
If they put in a complaint, who would read it?
Take the most overused ones, those usually said
years too soon; 'I love you.'
And that one always said a few minutes too late; 'Sorry.'
Words must be exhausted and confused.
It's obvious to them what the next one should be, but not to us.
We stare at a blank page
Expecting them to pop out.
They would if we would let them.
Poets make it worse.
Their luminous portal is my door.
Still art thrives on confusion.

But words can easily get their own back,
Our reasons and excuses look silly
When we re-read them
And our attempts to make ourselves look good,
Are fake.

When you left I gave up on everything except you.

Don't let them tell you
That you are good
If they start to say it
Put your fingers in your ears
And sing Dixie as loud as you can.
Good is worse than *******
It's commonplace
It's ten a penny
It's entry level for any writing
Or anything artistic.
Good relegates you to a life
Of expectation and frustration
Because you will probably
Never achieve what you want to.
So you'll need to be a super talent
Maybe one in a million
To really get somewhere
And if you are I imagine
You'll need two things,
To work hard, very hard
And to try to keep
It all together
Which I'm guessing
Might be the hardest part,
It must be unnerving
When you realise you can
Fly up ladders
While everyone around you
Keeps sliding down snakes.
Oh, and good luck.