I wish I could control it.
Not wanting to cry over the little things hoping it will go away.
When will it stop telling me things on repeat.
I tried to listen to the good in life but it's hard when the darkness is screaming in your ears.
Not wanting to burden anyone with my issues but trying to tell the truth at the same time.
Everyone telling me it will be ok and we aren't leaving.
How can I believe all the words when my mind wants to say the opposite.
Do I believe them or my broken mind.
Maybe I don't want to believe it's broken.
Maybe one day my pills will stop this all.
Or maybe I can stop it all.

I wish I could be freed from this world.
That one day I won't be in pain with my own mind.
Maybe I will be able to find someone that loves me for me.
Not having to beg to be heard.
I wish I could be gone sometimes to make my mind shut up.
But it will be easier in the end.

I don't know what to say because I keep going blank.
I hear your name and I start to blush.
I wonder if it will ever stop.
I'm not sure what to say or where to go but I know I will always find you.

Take a med and swallow.
Take a med and swallow.
Take a med and wish you could stop.
But you can't and you never will.
Skip a med and hope you're ok.
Skip a med and hope you're ok.
I don't want to feel like a zombie but I don't know what to do.
I'm happy and I don't want it to change.
Take a med and swallow.
Skip a med and hope you're ok.
What do I do now? I thought everything was normal but my whole night is fading.
I can barely keep my eyes open.
Stop the meds but then you will suffer.
Take a med and fall asleep.
Skip a med and hope you're ok.

It feels like a dream maybe too good to last.
Maybe too good to be true.
I sit back and relax not sure what is going to happen next.
I roll down my window and I finally understand what being peaceful means.
I thought it meant when im sitting next to you and you give me that look.
That says nothing bad is ever going to happen to you.
But I'm alone and I feel better than ever.
I hope this isn't a dream.
If this has to be I hope I never wake up unless you're next to me.

I wonder how everything is meant to be.
If I gave her five more minutes maybe she would still in my arms.
Maybe she would have been my last kiss and it could have lasted forever.
I thought she was the one for me.
Some days I even counted how long until we saw each other again.
The answer was it was always too long but I know she was the one.
I don't know if she agrees but my heart is broken into pieces waiting to be glued back together.
She is the only one with the right glue.
Maybe my heart will always be broken.
Maybe I lost the love of my life forever.

If I say goodbye would that be good enough for you?
Would you finally let me free or keeping holding be back?
I need to start over but you won't let me go.
I know we been though a lot but I finally feel ready to start something new.
If you let me go I promise it will be for the better.
I held on to the memories realizing it was all in my head.
That you didn't care about me has much as I did.
If I finally say goodbye would you let me be free of this fake love.