I wish I could hold my breath long enough not to feel anything.
Just enough to be able to breathe at the end of the day.
At the moments when my mind can finally slow down.
I wonder if this is how normal people feel.
The type of people who don't have to fight themselves to stay here.
The type of people who cry when they are sad and laugh at the funny.
The people that make the coldest hearts warm at the end of the night.
I wonder If one day I will be that type of person or if this is the best it will never be.

Sometimes I can't breathe.
Somedays I feel myself getting dragged underwater.
The other part of me watches and laughs.
I try to make it back to the surface but I can't hold on to anything.
Sometimes I can't breathe under all these thoughts.
Some days I feel too heavy to fight.
At some point, I stopped caring.

Let me go.
It's time for me to leave.
Please don't look back on us.
It wasn't meant to be after all the "I love you" and " we will be together forever"
Let me go.
Don't waste tears on me, I'm not worth it.
Try to remember the memories that I didn't ruin.
Let me go.
Leave flowers when you pass by.
Don't hold on to the pass for too long.
It's not worth the space in your memories
Let me go,
I promise it's time.

This wasn't goodbye,
This was a constant reminder that it was in control.
That it can pull me back anytime, anywhere.
I asked to be set free but instead, I cry my mind blank.
Waiting to go numb.
This wasn't goodbye,
Only the reminder that the will always follow me.

I didn't think it would be so easy to release you from my memories.
All it took was deleting a photo and everything else disappeared.

He made me love him from the start.
It was a mistake I thought I would only say hi Instead he took over my life.
No matter how hard I tried to quit I would always be back in his arms.
I stayed away for over a year but I couldn't resist.
I gave him my heart and he uses it as a weapon.

I watch you love her from the sidelines.
Waiting for my chance to come over and stop it all.
Nothing ever comes out of my mouth in time.
She leans over to kiss him while I'm trying not to cry.
She doesn't know how much I'm dying standing here.
I pick up a piece of paper hoping this will be my last time begging for someone
To notice me.
The visions in my head get stronger and my heart gets smaller.
The fear grows while the strength not to listen becomes more hopeless.