I think I'm falling,
Today we both got teary for each other.
All the happy memories are getting too real,
I couldn't hold it in anymore.
I think I'm falling for him,
His looks say the same.
I hope I never wake up if I'm dreaming.

When I compare my parents to a cloud this is what I mean.
They can go from beautiful to deadly within minutes.
A warning spreads as soon as there is a chance of it coming.
No one says a word each trying to protect them selfs.
Everyone hopes for the best but fears the worst.
Only one person ever tries to stop them before it gets too late.
I watch the sky for a warning of what will happen next.
Hoping this will be the last of it.

If love was a book,
It would come in many forms.
Starting as the tales, we read at night to chapter books that take months to read.
If love was a book,
I would read it over and over, never wanting to stop hoping it would come true.
Dreaming of the day when I no longer have to read to figure out what it means.
If love was a book,
I would hope I was secretly reading about you.

Fall for me,
I beg at night while I watch his eyes wander.
Wondering why I'm not getting his attention.
Knowing I will always be the second choice waiting to be picked.
Today he forgot about all the little lies and heartbreak that came from his mouth.
I put on a smile and pretended that he really did change.
Knowing that it's an act that will last a day.

Don't get mad.
I say with a nervous giggle,
Never knowing how they respond.
Tip toeing around my own house,
Not wanting to spark a ticking time bomb.
The silence gets louder,
My mind starts to scream.
Please don't get mad.
The only phase I knew in the broken home.
Hoping one day someone will understand why I start to shake when they raise their voice.

Sorry
A word that I use to shield myself from the pain that comes before it.
The thing that shuts down talks before it starts,
Makes tears turn into forgotten messes.
Makes those who love us turn into the deepest monsters.
Thinking when we say the word all is good again.
Not knowing, I hold on to the broken promises that never came.
Faking a smile that wants to fade but knowing they will get mad.
That this will be my fault if I say anything else but what their ears want to hear.
Twenty-one to the eye,
Inside the scared little five-year-old who knew too much for his age.
Sorry for….
Sorry, I didn't mean….
Sorry for it all…

My little heart flutters with butterflies.
It's the way he smiles at me and makes me feel special.
This time it will be different, or that's what I tell myself.
I'm not worried about falling, only for the after the mess of it all.
My little heart flutters with butterflies while my mind worries about how to prepare for the last goodbye.