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Acme Jan 2020
Poetry Readings

poetry readings have to be some of the saddest
****** things ever,
the gathering of the clansmen and clanladies,
week after week, month after month, year
after year,
getting old together,
reading on to tiny gatherings,
still hoping their genius will be
discovered,
making tapes together, discs together,
sweating for applause
they read basically to and for
each other,
they can't find a New York publisher
or one
within miles,
but they read on and on
in the poetry holes of America,
never daunted,
never considering the possibility that
their talent might be
thin, almost invisible,
they read on and on
before their mothers, their sisters, their husbands,
their wives, their friends, the other poets
and the handful of idiots who have wandered
in
from nowhere.

I am ashamed for them,
I am ashamed that they have to bolster each other,
I am ashamed for their lisping egos,
their lack of guts.

if these are our creators,
please, please give me something else:

a drunken plumber at a bowling alley,
a prelim boy in a four rounder,
a **** guiding his horse through along the
rail,
a bartender on last call,
a waitress pouring me a coffee,
a drunk sleeping in a deserted doorway,
a dog munching a dry bone,
an elephant's **** in a circus tent,
a 6 p.m. freeway crush,
the mailman telling a ***** joke

anything
anything
but
these.
Acme Jan 2020
there's so much pleasure
inside pain that's hidden
by thick walls of guilt
we can't hope to overcome.
we must live within shells
taught us from birth by
religion and parents who
were taught it from birth
and on and on until a bright
child might refuse to believe.
He'll write of straw men, men
who breathe dust and live as
dead men with pulse and vitals.
He will survive the riptide and
attacks from brilliant fools who
embrace ignorance for the power.
He will bleed for truth and die
again and again until he's heard.
Acme Jan 2020
You were a Vision
in a bar with a halo,
gold hair against
a window, angel's
promise to save
me from myself.
I want to see you
as you are now
every single day
that I am living.
Jayne in Rugby's.
Acme Jan 2020
I'm scared I couldn't.
I'm scared I could.
I thought I wouldn't.
Then I finally did.
I followed my heart
and divorced my life.
My lover sets me afire
where we feel it most.
We live modest now.
We eat at home alone
together every night
with black in my soul.
The condo's quiet, no
sons or dogs or her.
Marriage is a minefield but you know where the explosives are buried.
Acme Jan 2020
It's happened before.
I've fallen in love a million
times and the fire always
dies on beds of boredom.
I want to keep on with it
but I can't fake an *******.
Acme Jan 2020
I'm sane and insane.
I'm honest and a liar.
I'm a thief and generous
with things you need.
I love and I hate you
in turns that I can't
understand. I see you
in perfect halo then
your sun blinds me.
I'll never see you again.
Acme Jan 2020
I've seen the priest and lawyers
and had my last meal. Big Macs
and fries and apple pie dessert.
To bed early, big day tomorrow.

I sleep. I dream. We're in a field
of wildflowers in youth's kind
innocence fumbling our way to
Eden, ****** and laughter.

A stranger takes me away to
a naked room with the smell
of death. Am I still in Eden?
I'll wait for your scent forever.
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