We are defined by many things in our lives.
  You're a good son. A great older brother.
  An eagle scout and crazy *** metal guitarist.
  A firebug and science nerd and my friend.

  I know cancer is devastating and destroys.
  Loved ones collateral damage of loose anger.
  You can't control your cancer. Life or death.
  Your victory is remaining Michael.

It's easy to fall in love in Cape Cod or
     the Vineyard or Nantucket in season, with
     roaring seas and ocean winds flying kites.
     Late afternoon we lie together in youth's
     embrace eating forbidden fruit. We love.

     It's tough to love after a broken heart.
     Plagued by bitter memories and subtle hints to
     look elsewhere. Doubting my appeal I try guilt.
     It just takes longer to the final gasp of death.
     Move on. There's no changing our chemistry.

There's a terrible storm in my heart.
    It's fire and ice. There's no in between.
    Love memories and dead ones. I laugh and cry.
    I live the best I can in the middle of it
with vultures always in my sky.
How I wish for you today, Preston.

I love/hate the dance of romance.
I feel like I'm in a house of mirrors.
Nothing is what it seems. Where am I?
Is this love or a bent reflection?
Are we pretending at love in the dark
touching then surrendering our flesh?

Staring into death's eye is final.
I have no need for secrets or guilt
or hate for anyone who ever hurt me.
Scars don't survive dead. Scabs on the
heart are delicate food for the worms.
Earth's a distant star where souls meet.
I'm a jar of ash on your mantle. You
think me alive until your turn to die.

****** river flowing red
deflowered on her bed
by a ******* brutal beast
long gone after his feast

Promise forever love.
You might promise the moon and stars.
Promise never any deadly cancer
or acne or dying in our bed.
Don't worry. I know your promise
is as vacant as mine. Love is a lie.