A caress from many years ago
Has left a scar behind
My body will not heal the wound
It is left there to remind

You stroked my arm with an open palm
You smiled while it burned
I craved for all the affection
Too late, my lesson was learned

Now I sit here and touch every mark
That’s branded on my skin
They’re rotting below the surface
Destroying me from within

It’s time to pack up and head home
The bar’s closing, last drinks were called.
That girl that you were talking to,
Her make-up starts melting at dawn.
She’ll return home on tired feet
To her bed that’s always kept warm.

Let go of her hand and head out
The cold air can sober your thoughts,
She does not belong in your mind.
The moon will guide you to morning
Which will help to quiet the dreams,
That you have no business having.

Your demons are yours to control,
Listen to your footsteps retreat
Remember her family, her home.
Make your way to your welcome mat,
Which sits at your familiar door
And be the man you both deserve.

The ink from my heart wrote you a song
Thoughts bleeding onto the page
But the words I wrote, I got them wrong
Now I’ve torn them in my rage

I tasted each note upon my tongue
I prepared to sing my tune
But before I started, I was done
The notes trailing off too soon

The memory of your song won’t fade
Try as I might to forget
You do not deserve the art I made
Know I play it with regret

Thinking of another reality,
As I sit comfortably amongst my wealth.
Thinking of my finite mortality,
As I depict a picture of good health.
Dreaming of romance and armour clad knights,
While absently twirling my wedding rings.
Dreaming of places with beautiful sights,
While gazing over a view fit for kings.
Longing for somewhere that I can belong,
When I am surrounded by many friends.
Longing for relationships that are strong,
When their loyalty to me knows no ends.
But I must be thankful despite my pain,
That I have the luxury to complain.

I’m chasing that feeling of being numb
That sensation when I’m slipping under
Where I could either float or fall asleep
Can I get back? I can’t help but wonder.

A place that is better than happiness
‘Cos happiness is a place that won’t last
But the numbness can just keep on coming
And it can block out the pain of the past.

The weightless sensation of nothingness
Is such a blissful way for one to go
The gradual fading of the world around
Promises to banish your lowest low.

So can I be content to barely be?
I argue it’s greater than being free.

Yesterday I looked out at the view
Planned to climb mountains, buy houses, make friends.
Today I don’t open the blinds.

Yesterday I put on my trainers
I stretched, I flexed, I ran.
Today my lambskin slippers are chafing.

Yesterday I called a friend
We talked, I listened, we laughed.
Today there is not a number in my phone.

Yesterday I spent the day living
I dreamt, I pondered, I planned.
Today I am not sure I am breathing.

Yesterday was a million years ago
It went by in a blink, so fast, unstoppable.
Today is going to last forever.

A line once drawn with dignity
Its edges fade away
Yesterday she would have left
But tomorrow she will stay

Her dreams now out of reach
Were once at finger tips
Before she would have called them back
But the cry won’t pass her lips

A voice once unwavering
Now hesitates and sighs
Given up on fighting
Accepting of the lies