I’m gonna do it on thursday.

I can’t do this.
I’m not ready.
Everyone hates me.
I hate me.
I’m sick.
I’m lost.
My knuckles hurt.
My walls are broken.
My skin is open.
My problems are still there.
I can’t do this.
I’m not ready.

But I can try.

Yeah,
I ****** up.
To be fair, you did the same thing.
But i did it knowing the consequences.
I’m sorry.
I’m sorry your love is a *******.
I’m sorry I can’t make good decisions.
I’m sorry for robbing you of my your summer.
I’m sorry for not thinking ahead.
I love you.

A million little things are adding up on top of each other.
And they pick at my thoughts like bugs crawling under my skin.
A million little things have me writing letters to myself.
Asking why your distancing yourself, then saying i don’t blame you.
A million little things are making me seem so ******* clingy.
I don’t ever want to loose you, and i’m sorry if i’m too much.
A million little things are making me sound really stupid.
I just look into things too much, I know that you love me.

I think I'm afraid to see you.
I don't want to **** up our reunion.
In my mind it's perfect.
In my mind I'm not sad.
I would run up and hug you,
And everything would be fine.
But I'm feeling so ******* depressed.
I dont want to make you sad.

It's the feeling that you don't miss me that chips away at my heart. Like you have to pretend to like me and you try to keep your distance. The worst part is I know it's not true. But I still feel like it is. I think that late nights and distance has fueled too many pointless arguments. I think we would be fine if I could hug you. I hope you never do what you did last night. I hope we can forget about our fights. The truth is I was worried. Because you never text first. And when you do it's never a compliment. And I know it sounds stupid. And I know it is stupid. And I understand now that nothing has to change. I felt clingy because im always praising you. I cried the night before because I couldn't call you. Is that clingy? I miss you too much. I burned the song. I cried again. I'm sorry. I feel like all of this writing is insignificant. Just know that I love you. And we will be fine.