For every silence I take
My breath rattles the earth
You avoid my gaze
As if I’m midst casting a curse

You weren’t turned into stone
Yet my heart weighs heavy
So I’ll lay down and sink
Into the dragons cold underbelly

If this is how I lose you
Do it quickly, please
I cannot bear the soft silence
Let me ache in peace

If this is how I lose you
Be cruel and unkind
For any pity that you show
Adds years to my demise

If this is how I lose you
I must say goodbye
To you and to the part of me
That loved for the first time

If this is how I lose you
My anger will come
As soon as the fire of grief
Has frozen me numb.

I don’t like who I am anymore.
She said it best, she asked me

“What’s wrong with you? You know that this isn’t normal?”

And she’s right. Maybe she’s always been right.

It’s as if someone has harshly pulled back the curtains on a particularly sunny day, I see everything, and nothing has terrified me more.


The knowledge, that I try skirting around for the moment I touch it, it becomes my truth

And what a dark, dark truth to have.

I have an answer to most people’s questions but my own baffle me.

I baffle me

And I’m lost

And God knows I don’t have the fight in me to find myself,
So I’ll exist as though a shadow

I guess sometimes we come to the saddest realisation

Nothing lasts