i picture you sometimes
all real and breathing as you write to me
your fingers tapping on the screen
your fingers

i think of what i almost tell you
i think of what i'd maybe do

i'd kiss your body through your clothes
so we can both prolong the yearning

november is an exercise in trust
we sit inside and through the windows
we watch things die
never quite sure if this time too
they will return

you didn't ask what was wrong
but this time that was fine
you just waited
a minute and an hour
until i got it right
'the safer i feel
the less safe i feel
- do you understand?'
i think you did somehow

i'm waves and i crash
wanting to crush crush crush
hold on tight
i just might
devastate all i see drag it down
rushing as things are left on the ground
as some run later than they should run
i'll be screaming along having fun
and no pity is left in the wake
when i break and i shake and i take
i will make you look at me with awe
and i'll go

i know you will listen
i can't know what you'll hear
i'm still learning how to talk
outside of a space suit
and sometimes i feel like a shell
or an actor
or a hundred greedy hands
reaching for something
and grasping vacuum

she took me by the hand
and lead me through the crowded club
from where the air was stagnant
with uncertainty
into reality

all i want from this world
is to love the people in it
and to be loved sometimes
it doesn't have to be beautiful people
or a pure love
i'll take the messy, ugly kind
one that will match mine