set your teeth on the rising dawn

once.
the stars
              collided

and I    burned.

             I ran  
                       ran
                               ran away from fate, from    
                                                         my life.

             ran away towards the sun, towards—
day light.

    I had forgot the sun was a star.

but then I remembered.

And then.

and then the stars had whispered: courage.   And then—

    m y   w o r l d   s h a t t e r e d

and then. I opened my eyes:

it was night time.

And I turned around and faced my memories. my star. my sun.

Him.

And it was:

day light.

your hands can hold the world
     can they hold my heart?

I reach my hand forward
but —

it falls short

and, there’s only
darkness and silence left in this gaping distance

between us

Is it laughable, how I’m still clinging on, still hanging on to what’s already fallen?Pathetically and desperately clinging on air.

Is it laughable?

Do you mock me?

(I do. Every single time.)

closed fists in pockets

head down

the clouds fall above you

and the slow song of the rain beats
in your heart

pitter-patter echoes

the world around you drown

and it's all you can hear

the drum of feather touches against
your soul

closed fists in pockets

head down

you watch the drops of rain

slip into the cracks of the earth

(filling and filling, where he couldn't)

(but. she wonders, maybe...
it's the earth swallowing the rain inside

gulping the clouds

stealing it from the sky

till it's clear blue again

and she can look up)

sprinkle

light steps

i tiptoe over the garden of splintered glass

transparent. reflecting.

i can see dark. ugly. me

you can't see anything

i weave in-between the
complicated lines

jagged. harsh.

my dress floating in the air

and—

sprinkle

light steps

i tiptoe home

while you wonder more

lost in our heart.

(— hollow eyes)

blinking lights,
a glittering thousand of beating hearts
and,
i can taste mine,
burning stars lingering on the tip of my tongue
rotten-sweet

how many stars have died inside of you?

how many stars in you have lost their light?

lighting up your world,
in a confetti of fireworks
exploding in a flash vibrant colours
taking your breath, capturing your eyes
then,
gone
swallowed by the darkness of your sky
and you are left to stare at a
hollow abyss

tasting emptiness

each piece of you lost to life

and i can taste mine, vivid
lingering death rotting in my mouth

eroding each part of me, till there’s nothing left

but. an void of emptiness.

tell me,
how many stars have died inside of you?

how many stars in you have lost their light?

Her bright shoes drum against the concrete

they echoes into the silent night– all I can hear is her  
stamping stars on the cold hard ground and

the world bursts in glitter stars and her smile is the sun
and I gravitate towards her—

towards her and her bright orange sky.

on fire. rose and ashes. brokenglass.
velvet stained. falling deeper.

(watched you fall from your
mind, and now
I am clinging to the air
watching the air slip
through gaps of my tangled fingers)

there is blue caught
        in the lining of his skin,

he’s glowing in the dark

moonlight spills from his fingertips
as they graze the sky
his pale fingers dipping into the
black sea that floats over him,
followed by
    his hands, his arms, his head till
he is swollen whole

by the night sky

a ripple of stars
turning tsunamis worlds away

and the night echoes with
howls of wolves

as the moon sets into his throne
.
.
.

there is yellow caught in the lining of her skin
   she’s fire burning in the light
risen from the earth

her earth-stained fingers grazing the sky
her black eyes piercing into the
blinding blue

before—
she dives into up into the sea
                                 and spreads her flames

a hot white steam washes over the world
and clouds forms

a beat, then. the cloud breaks apart
rain drips down

the earth soaks up sunlight
  and spouts out flowers
blooming with a rainbow

as the sun sets into her throne
.
.

the moonlight
                      spills
                                 like tears.  burn.

kiss  m y  eyes to sleep. hidden stars.

hush
      
            breathe
        
     smile then.
      
      fall.
          
/ burn. /

in my dreams,
(dreams that run through my blood)
you surface. there’s
no light, no lies but
only truth and us
our lives bare
in the dark
as the thread tangles
as I pass and you pass by
as our eyes meet at the point
where love is nothing (can’t be anything)
and
you see something deeper
behind those eyes. I see nothing.
in dreams, dreams
that run through my blood (iron
hiding in my blood)

there’s no waking up
only us and the truth
that unravels as we
pass. a moment of
touch that shatters
my shadow
in the dark.

in dreams
(dreams that run in my blood)
you surface. and wreck my insides
with a look.
till there’s no reality
no illusions
only us and truths.
not love. (never love)
only truth that
lies bare
so hollow
so full
we can’t look
away. only
deeper.

(into nothing.)
(into everything.)

into your eyes.
into my eyes.

into the distorted reflection
that surfaces on my
blood that drips,
bleeds from fresh scars.

in dreams,
dreams that run in my blood
(I drowned and you surfaced).

in dreams,
dreams that run in my blood

I drowned (I woke up).

I drown in possibilities, in dreams
paradise stinging hot-sharp on my tongue
s l i p p i n g   a w a y
fading to ashes— and

today, the night is too loud.

i can’t see anything.

Kiss the galaxies of his yet unborn universe slumbering in his soul and blaze them awake.
Hold his eyes, weave your fingers in his till you both are so tangled together there’s no way to know what it feels like to be alone or lonely anymore.  
Love him and make the world yours.
Atom to atom, bond together with no spaces in between.
Then, set the world on flames and build your fortress from golden ashes born from the death of stars.
Rise as phoenixes from depths of hell, spread your scarlet wings across the expanse of sky blue above.
Grip the world with your hand and kiss him
With life, with everything.
Taste sweet victory sharp, vivid on your toungue
and then, go beyond.

,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
cli­cking crystals. shudder. ice stars.
darker. falling deeper. breaths of ash. sliver
k i s s e s. rose glass. stained.
illusion. shatter. falling deeper. silver
k i s s e s. tonight. the moon
is black. your heart. darker.
falling
d e e p e r  into  
d a r k n e s s. — in
love.
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

The song howls. And I dance.

I can feel sounds die under my fingers

In a flutter, like a sprinkle of rain
     you entered my life

   leaving a trail of stardust, where it was
too dark
    and now,

    a glitter of lights shimmers in the depths of my soul

she—
             fell
up
      a nd

SUN DEVOURED

Darling,
       pink stains my nails
as my dress paint words with flowers
     petals dancing like stars

chirp.
   chirp.

thousand whispers of birds
and
   I enter a new world with you

rolling off your tongue,
words
      letters
twisted & bended
the ends, crooked
that it comes off short and
drops dead

hits the floor
   in a crash

your heart laid out bare

i can’t hear you
(i can see you)

darling,
what are you saying?

speak louder
   speak clearer

(there’s no use though
it seems
you forgot,
how to form the words

‘i love you’.
slipping on the tip of
your tongue

but.
never reaching me)

i’m lying on the floor / my heart crying tears of blood / crimson rain that embraces the soul / yet kills it in the cold / it hurts / dancing in my rain / that sings for you / all dreams have died / and nightmares have risen from shattered ashes / devouring all that was left of me / as you left / with my doors open / i could see the sky / i could see outside / through the spaces you left in my home / the sky paling away / the leaves falling as their colours dulled away

autumn was coming / the winter was coming / and yet all i could feel is summer / spring / in this pit of crimson tear / as i drown / with you on the tips of fingers / slipping away like everything else

i am hidden in layers of flowers
can’t you see the thorns?
can’t you see me?

i am hidden in layers of flowers
pretty little things that spread across my
face in vibrant colours
why can’t you see my desperate smile?
don’t you see me?

i am hidden in layers of flowers-
wrapped around in vines
they are piercing my skin
digging inside

it really hurts

why can’t see you through my words?

(why can’t i speak?)

i am hidden in layers of flowers
in layers of pretty words that cover
my deep scars on my heart

everything i say is in metaphors

and you are captured by its beauty

(why can’t you see me?)

(why can’t i speak?)

and darling, the thorns are digging deeper into my skin

today, i went out as the sun was burning bright.
and then,

i  c a m e  h o m e  i n  r a i n and
    t h e  s u n  w a s  w h i t e.

today, i went out as the trees and flowers were in bloom. i went out into a world in vibarant colours.
and then,

i  c a m e  h o m e  i n  r a i n. with
   c o l o u r s  d r a i n e d,
      l e a v e s  f a l l i n g.  l i k e  a s h e s  and

i  entered  a  dimlit,   empty  house.

. roses
wither away. falling red. falling
petals. burnt ash. bitter. s w e e t. sharp thorns. crusts of soil. ash stained hands. falling silence .  
   l o v e s  m e  or  l o v e s  me not

i lay my hand over my chest. press my finger on the spot that aches
and i can feel it,
a small beat
that goes thump under my finger

as i drown

the sun is rising from the edge
the world is drowning in a spilling hot fire
my heart is falling i’m rising
i’m bleeding voilet you are drenched in sunlight
voilet is tearing at the seams the sun is rising
my heart is falling i’m rising
and everything is white  

oh darling, i can’t see anything

the white spaces in between the words contain all the answers,
   just read the silent lines of my poetry.

CAN YOU HEAR
               my heartbeat?
   (the sound of your death)
rising fast, then,
            falling suddenly short.
ends in a drizzle of rain, that was  
   once thunder.

waking up to the
    sound of thunder
roaring in the sky above,
a hurricane raging in my heart
and
       you, in my arms.
silent and ice-cold.
  the taste of our last kiss—
      burning in my mouth.
where the empty space in between us,
     the stars did die.
as i did.
as you did.
    
fireworks exploding in reverse.

i want to drown in your sound of sorrow
to try to feel something

but in the end,
there is nothing

but a soft beating, bleeding heart

that i can’t feel.

jyou cut my soul and now there’s a
void i can’t fill

my heart bleeds tears
since my eyes can’t

(i have forgetten how to cry)

and i bleed blood
no one can see

through the wounds you etched on my skin,

they were kisses of warmth then you left,
and now they are only,
    kissses of cold

that hold no memories,
only a hollow void
i trace with lost fingers

(my heart bleeds tears)

and it feels like winter

white snow like ashes falling down as rain

the world,
my world casted in darkness

the sun hidden by the falling clouds

(but it’s summer.)

echoes. of. splintered glass. run. closer, closer. petals of rain. white. falling
stars. burn. glass. you keep me locked by your words. sweet. shatter. echo. of. splintered glass. crimson stained hands. s i l e n c e. you keep me locked by your words. sweet. dark. and..
clip. clip. i fall.

soft hands. scratched nails. dig deeper.

You’re a bleeding sunrise into a dawn sky.
kissing me as stars tumble from inside you
your breath melting on my tongue
filling me with light, I never existed

and darling, I am melting beneath the curves of your body.

.
.
.

all the golden stars had turned to dust,
you picked up the stardust
let it slip through the cracks of your fingers
they sprinkle on me, tangling into my heart,
   fluttering into my soul as you blow a kiss to my forehead
and now darling,

I am a golden star burning brightly in the night sky.

I’m awake, but I can’t still see you.

the sunlight spills through the windows
like honey
creeping into my duvet covers and inside
my fortress of darkness
touches my closed eyelids. and

there

that day

in my dream

i dreamt of stars

sprinkle rain taps your glass. shatter.

I have tasted cold stars (and burned under your kiss)

I have seen fire pits of stars blazing in your eyes, felt them in the lining of your skin (and died in each one)

I have loved and hated you (and now I trace each scar with careful fingers)

And there’s only everything left in memory of you. Each piece of me.

(You are gone, but has never left)

deeper. darker. heavier. —
    i fall. darkness.

the arrow is shot.
it pierces through the air as
it hits the mark,
dead centre

but barely scratches the surface of my heart.

the silence is heavy

suffocating

in space stretched out between us
lays dead souls

remnants pieces of our soul

and I can the deafening silence

grinding my bones to dust

gripping my empty heart and

squeezing every little life left

till it shrivels and goes dead

(and you pick it

bury in the sand

watching it disappear

swallow up by the earth

drowning in golden grains)

and the silence is heavy

deafening

i can hear your silent whisper

crying from your lips

it's raining_

and i’m shivering

curling my self inwards

(you are dancing in the rain

slow steps. open wide. engraving each drop in
to your skin.)

and it's silent.

take me home / into the creeping silence / of ghosts / of death / and kiss me into sleep / i want to dream / of stars / of life / take me home / and slip me into sleep / with you in my arms / at home.

smile. up. higher. come on

dance with the  stars

drench in star shine. come on.

take my hand

and smile. up. higher

let’s dance with the  stars

and burn with the lights of
thousands of stars.

smile. up. higher. come on, darling.