Warren

Warren Jun 2019

Let the lions roar,
For the deaf can’t hear and the rest choose not to listen,
There’s no sense anymore,
When a child’s tears are all that glistens,
Abandoned and forsaken,
Too much pain and too much wrong,
Hope savagely taken,
How much longer can this go on,
Have you done anything to help this plight,
Have you done anything but avert your sight,
The smallest kindness means more than you realise,
Open your heart to the sound of their cries,
It doesn’t take much to help make a difference,
All that it takes is and end to this ignorance,
How much are **** or a bottle of coke,
A pound from each person sounds like a joke,
But still it would make a missive impact,
Still it would start to improve the fact,
That too many kids are homeless today,
Because too many of us turn the other way.

Warren Jun 2019

The Central Park 5

This is the story of the Central Park 5

Background.
5 young black boys who were picked up in Central Park 1989, after a white female jogger was ***** and left for dead. They were among over 30 youths in the park that night, they were also the youngest.

Antron McCray, Kevin Richardson, Yusef Salaam and Raymond Santana - All under the age of 16
And Korey Wise who was 16 at the time and who only went to the police station to keep his friend Yusef company.
Other than Corey and Yusef, they boys had never even seen each other before the night of their arrests.

The boys were coaxed into signing a Miranda card that waives their right to representation,
They were bullied and coerced during interrogation, into signing false statements, without their parents or any guardian present,
Corey, who remained in the station for Yusef, was later pulled in by detectives who needed someone to make the story fit. Suffering with both hearing and learning difficulties he was the perfect patsy for the police to force into a false confession.
The boys were all found guilty despite the lack of any DNA or physical evidence placing them at the scene, All but Corey were detained as juveniles for 5-10 years, whilst Corey was tried as an adult and sentenced to 15 years in an adult prison.
he spent the majority of his sentence in isolation to escape the beatings and abuse for a crime he didn’t commit.

Injustice -
When every bone in your body is screaming out your innocence,
yet the world has you on mute.
The hope that tortures you everyday, waiting for someone to hear you, believe you and
set you free.
How long before that hope fades, how long before the last glimmers of light extinguish , how long before you sink into the dark places that you can never fully come back from.

“Their story - My words”
Written with love and respect.

It’s the narrative that leads the pack,
Change that - and watch them stutter,
A verdict is more addictive than crack,
Whilst the truth melts away like butter.
The lies and scheming  - leading us screaming,
To a sentence we didn’t  deserve,
An innocent teen can ever be seen,
If justice has lost its nerve.

Politics reign over the rules of the game,
The scales have lost their balance,
Democracy has taken flight,
With  innocence in its talons,
It’s never about only us  in chains,
Not of prejudice and pride,
Our fathers and mothers,
Sisters and brothers,
Are imprisoned on the outside,

What have they created,
Other than hatred,
The voice of what’s right sounds so wrong
Our downfall is imminent,
They lock up the innocent,
The resistance to change is too strong.

There’s no adverts for convicted,
Our fate was predicted,
No Vacancies found for the lost,
They created us guilty,
It’s their hands that are filthy,
But they’ll never know the true cost.

So what are we supposed to do,
We’re free for sure - but free for who,
We can’t escape the stares or guilty whispers,
No matter where we’re always seen,
As guilty kids from that tragic scene,
We’re a haunted story played out in tainted pictures.

we can never be like you
We’ll always be last in the queue
We’ll never get to leave this social prison,
Victims of forced circumstance,
A twisted chance  of happenstance .
They took our chance away so none would listen,

What’s done is done - they’d made up their mind,
Irrelevant of what they’d find,
Once started they never turn back,
So our story is thus -
That when they see us,
It’s the narrative that leads the pack,
—————————-
Corey went up for parole several times, but part of the process is the verbal acceptance of your guilt for 5e sentenced being served. Corey wouldn’t confess to the crime he didn’t commit. After several rejected hearings Corey stopped going.
In 2002 Corey and the 4 boys were exonerated after the confession of a fellow inmate ‘Matias Reyes’ stated that he acted alone. DNA backed this up.
Corey was released and the 5 eventually won $41million in damages,
To this day the 5 men acknowledge that money can never give them what they lost.
Justice took them from themselves, now they must spend the rest of their lives being who they are.

Warren Jun 2019

Harsh Reality

she ran her fingers down his cheek,
And across his weathered shoulder,
in and out of the holes in his t shirt,
down his emancipated arms,
tracing the track marks with her fingernail,
there was a fresh plaster today,
that made 4,
4 pieces of tape holding his arm together
she felt loss for the fallen pieces of her man,
soon he would have more plaster than skin,
she wanted to chuckle at the thought of her plaster man,
but she didn’t have the energy,
they hadn’t eaten today,
she couldn’t remember if she’d eaten yesterday either,
An open can of cider lay on the floorboards next to her mattress,
At least she’d had something she thought to herself,
there was an odour in the air,
a off smell,
she thought she recognised it but...
couldn’t quite focus on it,
It’s familiarity danced in the background of her thoughts,
“what’s the smell”
she asked,
“hey”
she summoned what energy she had and nudged him,
“wake up lover” she half spoke,
half slurred,
“hey” she said again,
She tried to concentrate on when he’d last got high,
she couldn’t think of when she’d last got high,
She knew she’d been asleep,
“Wake up”
She threw her arm over his shoulder and pulled him over towards her,
His eyes were open,
His mouth was open..
All at once she remembered that smell,
Suddenly she remembered everything,
In that moment,
She was left with nothing,
Nothing but the recognition of what death smelt like.

Warren Jun 2019

If I die tomorrow

If I die tomorrow there’s some things I wish to say,
Because if I die tomorrow,
Then I only have today,

To my wife, my friend, my soulmate,
Your everything that’s pure,
Each day you give me all of you,
And the next you give me more.
You never judge or hold a grudge,
16 years we’ve never fought,
If I could pull the best bits from myself,
They’d be the ones that you have taught.
Know how much I love you,
For I’m just a simple man -
That loves you with completeness,
For it’s made me who I am,
Everyday I’ve spent with you
Has been a day above,
I’m not sure I deserve you,
Let alone deserve your love,
But said and done,
You are the one,
I fell for - with all my being,
No matter where I may end up,
It’ll be you my eyes keep seeing.
.......
And now my children,
This is tough,
Not something I’ve rehearsed,
Even just the thought of You’s,
And my heart is fit to burst,
I always wanted children,
I always wanted you,
I was blessed to have a daughter,
Then my son was gifted too,
Your growing up so quickly,
I’m so proud of who you are,
It doesn’t matter where I go,
My love is never far,
There aren’t the words to tell you both,
What you mean to me,
One day when your parents,
Maybe then you both will see,
Always do your best in life,
And always love each other,
Always know I love you both,
And watch over your mother.
........
For if I die tomorrow,
And I only have today
If my time has come,
And I’m not able to stay,
Know that I die happy,
For all you’ve given me,
Know that I die happy,
Let that thought be all you see.

Warren Jun 2019

Tiny tears

Tiny tears,
Skin almost translucent
The other kids would call her names,
So she spent her life playing truant,
She couldn’t cope,
She lost all hope
And pleaded to the sky,
She banged her fists,
Didn’t want to exist,
Wished that she could die.
In that moment -
time stood still,
And everything made sense,
She was flooded with a light of truth,
Pure and so intense,
It told her what she’d always known,
Like a distant echoed song,
She remembered what she’d long forgot -
..........She was an angel all along.

Warren Jun 2019

Jeni And her army (Trigger warning - abuse)

This is the story of Jeni Haynes, whose father inflicted horrific physical and ****** abuse on her from the age of four years old. As a result she created over 2000 alter egos to get her through it.
This is my account written with respect and love as  I feel she would tell it, just because some stories deserve a voice.

Dedicated to Symphony,
- For saving my life.

’I am an army,
A force of alter egos forged from the furnace of necessity.
Banded together in permanent transience,
Called forth by the voice purity.’
————————-
I am Symphony,
I’m 4
I came to Jeni first to comfort her through the pain,
Through the torture and torment of lamented youth,
I sang songs to mask the sounds of abuse,
Turned her face inwards,
Jeni found me because she needed me,
But I was not alone.
————————
There’s Judas and Muscles,
There always here,
Alters of Jeni’s yesteryear
‘We are hundreds,
thousands - an army to face,
We’re her solace,
Some of us permanently echoing inside,
some of us hide,
Some of us have a singular purpose,
All of us have the same intention,
To protect our Jeni without exception.’
—————————-
I am Jeni,
I have MPD  so they tell me,
DID is what it’s meant to be,
But I’m just me !
No one ever told me there shouldn’t be more,
Personalities and people behind the door,
So it’s perfectly normal inside my mind,
Just not what you would expect to find.

They call it abuse but it was way past that,
I cowered and cringed,
Paralysed with fear,
Praying he wouldn’t hear,
It was unavoidable,
Inescapable,
I couldn’t prevent it,
I was incapable,
Cried myself dry,
It was torture,
Repeated and repeated and repeated,
Through every sense,
The smell, the taste, the feeling and the pain,
So much pain,
Then Symphony came and things changed.
She brought with her so many,
An army to protect me inside,
Where I could hide,
They took it in turns.
Little Rikki was laid with the task,
It would brake his heart apart,
Each time he would send someone in my place
To face the horrors of my father to face,

And they did suffer,
Every alter, every time,
They passed the poisoned chalice between themselves,
Not letting it near me,
Keeping me inwards so I couldn’t see,
Without their sacrifice,
I don’t know where I’d be.
Crazy maybe.

There was Jay who spoke truth,
Kept me in line all the time,
Tried to protect me,
Run Jeni run
But he couldn’t protect me,
It would always be done.

They weren’t in my head - they were me,
Every one you could see,
I would let them step forward,
They would fulfil their need and then they’d step back,
It’s as natural as that.
It’s survival,
My solution,
A forced evolution of spirit and mind,
I was forced to find.
I’m not ill,
I’m just different.
This is who I am.
I am Jeni Haynes,
We all are in a roundabout way.

I asked people to help,
Told those of rank,
Drew blank after blank,
I’d accused my father of horrific acts,
Given the facts it’s not a topic that attracts.
So it was on me.

I studied,
One day they would see,
I subjected myself to the learn to have power,
In words and knowledge,
These are the weapons of modern times,
And I needed them more than ever.
I studied  psychology, Justice and crime,
Then I tried again.
This time I spoke their language,
I broke their arguments and lay waste to their  fears.
This time they would listen,
And they did.

I am strong,
Battle worn and worthy,
I have power more than most,
I could withstand pain,
Rained upon me over years of suffering,
I had focus,
Honed from an army that knew where to look,
And I had help,
We were heard,
We won our day in court,
That man that called himself my father,
Extradited from his exile,
Brought forth to testify for the wrongs he’d committed.
My 2hrs in court validated my years of silent abuse.
We spoke individually with one voice,
No plan,
I let those with the answers take the stand,
6 came forward to help me beat the one,
And they did,
He confessed,
Finally my fight could be laid to rest.

This is my story,
*****, buggered and systematically abused,
This is my story,
Of Symphony finding me broken and bleeding,
This is my story,
Of waging war against my father,
This is my story,
Of taking back me.
All of me,
Every part of me,
Until finally - I could see.

Jeni Haynes,
“May you find the peace you deserve.”

#jenihaynes

Warren Jun 2019

Existence

Oh brother - why do you shun me so,
For I’m the truth you want no one to know,
I’m the bitter to your sickly sweet,
The ravaged attack of your feeble defeat.
I am the darkness in your light,
I am the blind that covets your sight,
I am the sinner that loves to sin,
Whilst your the one who strives to win.
You would not survive without my existence,
For I am the hand that offers resistance,
Without my dark you wouldn’t know light,
I give you the day but I rule the night.
Deny as you must but make no mistake,
This coexistence will never break,
We take the opposite of what we give,
In order for us both to live.
Because you need me as I need you,
For I can’t lie unless your true,
But do not think that this brings peace,
Nor expect my chaos to cease,
For I would gladly be without you,
But that is something I could never do.
I need your light to to create my dark,
Which is we why can never exist apart .