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My scars are a scrapbook
which tell many stories.
Some scream great times
while some whisper loneliness
some just are there, there in calm silence.
These scars are my friends,
unlike most people in my life.
They will always be with me,
they will never leave.
These scars are my secrets,
hidden and quiet.
Disguised and so sacred,
I will never tell a soul.
These scars are my scrapbook.
These scars are my friends.  
These scars are my secrets.
These scars.....
These scars are who I am.
a moment
of listening
to the crickets
in the creek

a moment
of listening
to the flocks
of seagulls
by the shore

a moment
of listening
to the rain
as it cools
a summer's
day

a moment
of listening
to the
heavy climactic
breathing
of your lover

a moment
of listening
to moments
that exist
only in
your life

listen,...
but breathe in
life's moments
that are singular
and precious
to you

future moments
may
never be

moments are
pure ecstasy
You've
never tried
my skin on,
have you?

You
haven't.

Then
shhhhh.



written by me... ..
never cross

this Pøę like

creature.


Montresor

    still

.....     lives and,

Fortunato


   not so much.


darkness is seduced by Montresor.

Montresor
seduces....

   darkness.

but by

  all means,

come


    taste

                    my


          wine
A tree top melody, it softly whispers.

The morning courting has begun,
a tonsiled serenade.

A once thirsty earth is now content.

The prior evenings heavenly offering, its downpours more than this earth could ask for.

The ***** browns;
the fallen and fossilised leaves now just a memory.

Nature buds and blooms;
Spring makes itself at home as life returns to green.

From a naked tree;
a bird takes flight and effortlessly flies....
A worm its reason for flight, an unsuspecting nourishment.

A topaz sky, clean and void of any cloud.

A streak of white is all I see,
the exhale of a jet as it moves on its super sonic way.

The table from where I sit and write this?

It basks in the warming morning sunrise;
my very own, "sunny and 75" !



written by me... ..
Need not apply if you drown in the morning air.
You must allow commonality to be our life preserver.
Or meander afloat until a lifeguard brings you ashore.

The initial 2 year romance high eventually wears off so...
You can..
Be the son that calls his writing father to share heartfelt words he himself has put to paper.
His words draw me deep like the heaviest anchor to the ocean floor.

Like him...
be the smell of fresh cut grass with a side of a smokey bacon.
Or the first deep throated serenade of the day by the lark in the cherry blossom.

Be your four legged child that licks your face when your eyes first open like a tootsie roll tootsie pop.
Be that warm arousing summer's gentle rain that seductively kisses your window pane.

Don't ever try to be a morning person for me.
You either are one or you're not.
Never pretend.
But just know....
to enjoy the very best parts of me,
you....
you need to be my morning eggs and toast with a side of juice... freshly squeezed.
When I look up towards the stars, I may see something much different than you.
I see everlasting serenity.
A place void of anxiousness.
A place void of fear.
A place of long last ease and rest.
A tranquil active creek with subtle sounds of water flowing.
A place where the lions and the sheep play.
I see Heaven and a place for all beautiful hearts to forever stay.
I must say -
it's been a few years.
It's been a few years since I cared about how I looked.
I'm not sure why that is ?
I'm not sure who is to blame ?
I'm not sure if anyone IS to blame ?
I'm not sure I even care why it is -
I think that I simply wanted to write about it...heh

I will admit -
I can go 6 months or better without ...
without so much as even a trim,
never mind the process of a real haircut.
I rest my razors sometimes for 7 days...
sometimes more.
I miss that sometimes only because
I enjoy the essence of my choice of shave cream.
Don't get me wrong -
I do shower everyday....
sometimes twice.

Thing is -
when I get out of the shower...
I don't ever pamper me.
I don't look in the mirror,
don't care too really.
The reason why -
I'll tell ya...
It will only remind me that...
remind me that I am in need of a shave and haircut.

And the thing about that is -
I don't care what I look like -
Don't care what you think.
I have no one to impress.
I don't have some inner drive to impress anyone,
impress anyone with my appearance anyway.

Judge me because of it, go ahead -
The cover is just that...
just a book cover.
I'm a what's inside the book cover man.
The depth inside is infinite pages you could never read -
I'm a lifetime to finish.
The outside ......
the cover is superficial and is most often misleading.
Not to mention -
a very quick and boring ...
"had it 100 times before" read.

So -
Never judge a book by its cover...
no matter how long the hair -
no matter how unshaven.
They just don't care how they look.
Perhaps..?...?..?More importantly -
they don't care how you look either
On the menu,
open eyes , a smile,
the morning rod has risen,
the sun it rises too.

Sweat filled sheets,
the prior evenings music,
the scent of which I crave,
created by our body heat.

Dinner was gourmet as breakfast now awaits,
dessert had a sweetness never tasted,
my breakfast palette lies yearning,
it yearns my bodies fate.
i awoke

     as always,

        poetically.

     words on my mind-

on my lips.

  nary a sheep ever counted.
  
         just words in cartoon balloons-

         from my mind,

from my lips,

      to paper they go

even before
            
             my first coffee sips.

    i'm a writer.

my subconscious mind even

   plays along-

even in deep sleep,

     there are no sheep-

just pulling words from

   cartoon balloons,

       i write .....

    Poetry....

         Prose....

                    Songs.

even in the shadows of my

   dreams -

       when I've put the world

to bed ....

            i still write...

        after i've turned off

all of this world's

lights....

   i have a quill

in my head....

        that always

has ink in...

    abundant supply.
I gaze upon the many,
the many that wear a frigid stare,
eyes that appear so cold and lifeless,
the brain behind them that doesn't care.

Emotionless movement, just going through the motion,
perched on a porch, ain't nothing constructive,
blackened hearts and angry vibes,
the look of a criminal and all that will be destructive.

I feel so unsafe as I lock every door,
aware in Kansas, anymore I am not,
I pray for their souls in hopes they see light,
how they were loved in their life, and hadn't forgot.




written by me... ..
A year later,
I found
your canine
hair in
the corner
of my closet.

It brought
a smile
and then
some tears.

I miss you
and your
German Shepherd
personality
Sasha.
words,

    spoken or written,

parchment silent

      or

****** heard

       they are like confetti

at a year end celebration

         they are like rain

and thunderstorm saturation.

         words are...

food that feed my emotions,

         words are...

soothing like the silkiest
of lotions

        they are dreams that

come to life

         they are weapons that

cut deep like a knife

         select your words with

thoughtfulness and care,

        and spill them all out

like a poet whoms heart is always there...
             bare....
             and dares,

to be rare
vague poetry

   it .... commands

and

   it lingers mystery.

     intrigue is

my blood,

         intrigue me? .....

my heart - mind pours out

      like a flood.

in script,

    question marks

litter and

        canvas my work.

       in the soul of

the right reader,

  these

        question marks

      will certainly

  no longer lurk.

       sure we poets,

leave ends open

          with nary an

intent of closing.

     mystery and intrigue

is our oxygen,

       and never ending muses

   forever posing.
Be proud of your roots.
Let them grow,
unruly,
wide and deep
where you are.

Be a shelter
for weary souls.
We all need to rest
from time to time.

A shade for travelers;
living can be hard.

Storms will come,
undeniably,
but stand firm.

They will make you stronger.

Just hold on.

We really only need
Sunlight,
Water
and Mother Earth.

The rest isn't needed
for you to truly grow.

And when you die,
die gracefully,
just as you lived,
with your heart open and with
outstretched limbs.

And
maybe... ..

most importantly,
remember...

like a tree,
you are beautiful in every season of your life.
A fawn

   sprinting south away from
        a cyclist pedaling south

    A fox slyly
leaks out from the
     roadside brush
in an attempt to
       cross the road
from west to east
   but his timing is off and heads back to the brush.

       A woman in nurse's attire jogs   north quickly, to get to her bus stop for the bus I see in my rearview mirror driving north towards her.
   She makes it.

  Driving south on union road before
   the walden avenue intersection a cute
  racoon lies prone
in the middle of the road facing south....
       that little fella
didn't make it.
i think,
     i think that
i was
never meant
   for this earth.

born,
  i was blue
    in hue,
my parents thought
   i was going
to die.

perhaps,
     perhaps at birth,
        it was
my destiny to die
    before i
ever lived?

i guess God felt
   as if,
     this life was
in need of me,
    and what i
had to give?

i have served Him
  with the life
    that He felt
i needed to share.
  
from barely breathing
     and blue
   at birth,
Jesus knew that...

    what was in that
   baby's heart was rare.

as the man that....
    He has groomed me
      to become.

i still remain a
    tortured soul ...
  my heart always bleeding
with no chance of
    ever being numb.

there are days that...
   i privately wish
     that blue baby
would have never lived,

      just some....

just some days.

i can't save the world,
    i now know
but i
      really really
want too.

    next time that i am
       blue and
barely breathing....

   please......
    
        please let me

go.
the seagulls wailed
as they skimmed across the angry river's surface

on the horizon,

green islands
and a puffy line of
cumulonimbus
clouds hovering above them

the brilliant sunshine reflected off of the river's surface resembling an abundance of diamonds

i can hear the waves
'swooshing'
up against the pier
and the side of my docked yacht

a group of young boys decide to grab a swim in the boat launch area

i grab a bottle of  deep eddy lemon
and fill my glass with ice and straight deep eddy and lemon

just living out another day here on the niagara river mere moments... ..

from the mighty Niagara Falls
Skin and bone is all I am,
if I should happen to disappoint,
just remember, I am doing the best I can.

If I should hurt or bring you pain,
I've done my best to give you me,
I can't stop or prevent the rain.

I'm just that guy,
that guy who loves you for being you,
the man who will always be nothing but true.




written by me... ..
How's about
once a week,
one writer chooses
A word.

One word
for every
writer here
to expound
upon and
express themselves
over?

Perhaps on a weekend when possibly everyone has a bit more time to write?

Just a thought that
I think,
would be fun?

Feedback appreciated.
I do this often.
Just take a word and release my inner self into its meaning.
Oh honey bee that loves my sunflower

Feel free to buzz around for more than an hour

The two of you together form an incredible power

Wait patiently for the rain of life to once again upon you lovingly
shower

Oh sunflower

Oh sunflower

my love for you
will never
sour
Ah yes, the sunflower.
On my worst day this flower will always bring about a smile.
ahhh,

-the rain.

often,

just in
time
to wash
away the
pain.

to
hide
my tears...

or try
to,

in vain.

the rain,

it feels
mystically
powerful
to me.

cleansing,

refreshing,

a downpouring
of a
new free.

after
a
delightful
summer's rain...

the more
clear,

my eyes
and
my soul
can see.
if i live long enough to embrace Autumn once more.

     i will breathe in its air like it's my last inhale.

         i will not assume that i am entitled for an encore.

  if i make my 52'nd birthday this Autumn, in this life i will know,  i have not failed.

             the rusty reds, perfect peaches and October orange hues are a beauty that has no rival !

      Autumn is my mistress, she is a very special part of my own survival.

      Autumn like my 52'nd birthday is at my doorstep knocking.

            Autumn is the season that has kept this half century year old man young and rocking.

give me the cool nights by a crackling smokey fire.

      give me those colors Autumn that, only YOU can share and that I desire.

and take away the ***** sweaty feeling of summer.

    summer, the season that is always such a drag, to me, a ******.

           Autumn, bring me back to sunday sauce and long sleeves.

bring me back to trees full of unique hues and mesmerizing leaves.

     buh bye summer, i don't care if i were to ever see you again.

              52, with another Autumn under my belt makes me...indeed

one of the luckiest men.
summer, I loathe you.

  you do absolutely nothing for me, that much is true.

my fancy, has never been struck by the likes of you.

    summer, your presence never captivates me but instead, leaves me feeling blue.

you make the simplest of tasks unbearable, you stink !

      summer, you often bring tempers and patience to the edge, the brink.

i don't need your filthy habits and your disgusting smelling lovers next to me.

   i need the freshness of an Autumn breeze that brings a man like me to my tired knees.

     so, soon enough it's good riddance to you summer, and your smelly lovers.

     soon I can be free of you at long last, and nestle myself underneath a few covers.

summer let me be frank, i detest your filthy, *****, sweaty ways.

    so buh bye summer, i have just about as much need for you as I do for tooth decay !
One
One
When two become one

Souls forever intertwined like a bullet in a gun

The touching, caressing and kissing

Two becoming one with ecstasy and ******* never missing

Future days can never erase the moment that lust and love could not be overcome

History will always remember the night, that we became one
Her anxiety
filled words,
she wants
them to
mean
something
to you.

But alas,
they mean
nothing when
those words
fall upon
ears of stone
and a
dying heart.

The once
little boy
now a
middle
aged man
is heading
towards
twilight's
horizon.

Her words;

soon
her words
will be
directed towards
an
empty chair.



written by me... ..
I never wished for a sibling, boy or girl.
Center of the universe,
I had the back of my parents’ car
all to myself.
I could look out one window
then slide over to the other window
without any quibbling over territorial rights,
and whenever I played a game
on the floor of my bedroom, it was always my turn.

Not until my parents entered their 90s
did I long for a sister, a nurse I named Mary,
who worked in a hospital
five minutes away from their house
and who would drop everything,
even a thermometer, whenever I called.
“Be there in a jiff” and “On my way!”
were two of her favorite expressions, and mine.

And now that the parents are dead,
I wish I could meet Mary for coffee
every now and then at that Italian place
with the blue awning where we would sit
and reminisce, even on rainy days.
I would gaze into her green eyes
and see my parents, my mother looking out
of Mary’s right eye and my father staring out of her left,

which would remind me of what an odd duck
I was as a child, a little prince and a loner,
who would break off from his gang of friends
on a Saturday and find a hedge to hide behind.
And I would tell Mary about all that, too,
and never embarrass her by asking about
her nonexistence, and maybe we
would have another espresso and a pastry
and I would always pay the bill and walk her home.
my surroundings

   in life,

     always leave

never ending
  ..  
       question marks

     suspended in air,

            inside cartoon bubbles.

     the heaviness

         of life

and its

       dynamics

          always leave me

             questioning

  my jubilations

       or are they troubles?

  so weighted down

     at times by

       ebon clouds,

thunder and
  
       lighting storms.

when the

     rains cease....

       i always wonder

if i am

        the bird

          or the worms.

  i create

    storms...

earthquakes and

      tsunamis

inside my

           own mind.

   i have been

       gifted this life

with years upon years

            of  

   my own

                unique time.

    my dreams of you....

         well,

those must take place

    in a

          different life and,

     those will remain

secret ......

     and only mine.

inside my

    mind is

savage,

  raw

    infidelity

and sin....

           and

     to be honest,

i wouldn't even

       know with you.....

where

to begin.
a feeling of numbness overwhelms the body,
the mind and soul upon entering those doors

these are doors that you know you will never
pass through alive again

a great sadness,

pity and self pity surround you as the doors close

memories of a healthy life flash before your eyes
that no one else can see but you

the very edge of your world is clearly visible

you have journied here prematurely,

unwantingly

your body has been under siege,

under attack by a foe they claim has no equal

a cowardly foe,
a foe that is rarely beaten

the mind is as sound as the day you turned sweet sixteen

but now,

it also slowly gives in unwillingly

the twinkle in those eyes slowly begin to fade as well

you know that the nights of enjoying your favorite meal...

your favorite television show...

the early morning walks in the unmistakable fragrant
air after an evening's gentle rain...

the smiles you shared with those closest to you
when no one knew that you were even very sick....

those smiles are vastly different than the smiles
that merely seem,

feel to be nothing more than pity smiles now

but,

these are all things you know that you will never do again
after passing through those doors

will my loved ones miss me?

this plays over and over in your mind

will they be okay without me here,

without me near?

who will care for my four legged friend?

will he have a loving home such as i provided?

i can't help but think...

i can't help but feel that i am letting so many down....

helplessly i am being erased from the everyday landscape of my loved ones lives by a coward

a coward that plays hide and seek

a coward that never wants to be found until it's too late,

until everyone has given up and gone home

my footprints may no longer be visible in a while,

but i hope that my life and the way in which i had lived it
has left or leaves a deep enough imprint for those closest to me

to remember me by,

to cherish me by...

even being prematurely removed from their lives as i was.

on my way into hospice i may have been numb, bewildered,

and filled with nostalgia of my life that once was....

i know on my out of hospice in spirit,

i will be free!

i will cry many tears for those that i have left behind without me

but........

on the other side of those doors i will finally be free!!!!
I see my future
as a reflection in the waters,
the wind ripples the calm
distorts, as the image falters.
I try to recapture of which there once was,
the wind is too great,  
it brings with it storm clouds
my distorted image is now bait.
Arrival of torrential rains
now further hinders my quest,
what preys from the depths
there's pain I can't see, my soul is unrest.  
Trapped in between
trapped like a wind chime playing to a cross breeze ,
would it now be better
to allow my thoughts to freeze.
A pity
that,

love is
often coupled
with risk

The heart
was never
meant
to be
whisked

Divorces
brisk
Firmly seated into the spine-
Hundreds and hundreds...

Pages of my words for eyes to dine-
To fall asleep with while reading in bed.

Book form one day ?
Not for money, not for gain-

Not for "I told you so's" to say
Not for notoriety and not for fame.

For my children !
A piddly royalty check without fuss-

For my grandchildren
"Oh Look,
Pops - Poppa is still giving to us" with smiling faces.

A legacy of my words-
Days of great and jubilant times-

As if I were flying high with the birds-
And the nights where I struggled for reason and rhyme.

I won't mind being gone, you see-
I just don't want to be forgotten....

I'd just love if one of my poems could help someone see a bit more clearly-
The bite of their apple was a bit less rotten.

So, paperback I hope for one day-
I'd like this for so many reasons-

Not one of them is for the pay-
But, just to be a book on your nightstand for one....

heck,
   for all seasons.

"What was he thinking while inking this write" ?
"Was he down by where the land meets the sea" ?

"Was he at the Hospice garden where he took great delight" ?
"What was David/Pops/Poppa thinking when he wrote this.....

was he
   thinking of me ?
Swerving is my life.
To myself I keep it.
Jesus is my bended ear.
My bleeding he cauterizes.
I stay away from main arteries.
Both hands on the wheel.
I'm blind at night in the rain.
Yet I drive.
One night I will hit every artery.
And Jesus will look away.
To myself I will always keep it,
of course but...
Time to step away from artificial healing.
Jesus will continue to bandage me.
To Him I must look like a patchwork quilt.
You can't save the world when you yourself need saving.
The swerving needs to stop so all of my scars can heal.
Reopening old wounds seemed to be my thing.
I keep that to myself.
Jesus will one day tire of dressing and redressing my same old wounds.
And I will be one mess of a patchwork quilt.




written by me... ..
As death
circles
like a
desert vulture,
a
gentle calm
settles in.



written by me... ..
Your hair might not be so straight.
Your smile might not be that great.

But it doesn't matter what other people see.
Perfectly imperfect is what you are to me.

To me, your eyes outshine the stars.
Your smile takes me somewhere far.
Perfectly imperfect is what you are.

So, don't worry about that scar above your lip,
or that birthmark upon your hip.

You're perfectly imperfect.
And
you're always more than worth it.
She said with her mouth;
"allow me to
sip you like
a fine aged wine".
While her eyes were
guzzling me down
like a frat party's
funnel.



written by me... ..
her tongue
so craved his bitterness

thirsty for his
passion filled thrusting hips

her hair
pulled to the side
as her indulgence begins

infidelity's sin has him lusting for her absurdly hard nips

all hell breaks loose... ..

once he
slides in
I have read many a word from a favorite of mine, Edgar Allan Poe.

Inspiration overwhelms me and his words I often keep in tow.

Macabre, a man that made his own paths, plodded through the quagmire.
A man that was a little off, outnumbered  and unafraid are traits that I admire.

Dark?
Sure, if you are as deep as a thimble full of h2o.

Dark?
I laugh....only as dark where the shadows of cowards grow.

Don't be afraid of those that dare to be different and walk alone.
Don't be afraid of their echoing, stand alone tone.

Poe and those like him are not shadows that cowards like you need to fear!

Poe and those like him are the only ones on this planet that live to keep things real.
Death is remembered

at roadside memorials

as i pass by them
that wax candle's scent

reminds me of my childhood

my childhood birthdays
memories forgot

leaves me to wonder if my

death is drawing near
shadows pinned me down

dark and faceless demon's hunt

hunting for my soul
not your same old same old redundancy here

i slay giants with a cold stare

while death is the least of my fears

come hither oh giant or queer
There is "Poetry" all around you... .. all you have to do is breathe it in, admire it and allow it to fill your soul.
i've only;

one tongue
one heart
one ear
one eye
one hand
for love.

infatuation is not love.

it's a crutch for lust.

mi amor,
my love for you will never rust.

you are one.

i'll let the others have the many and ill trust.

you mi amor,
are second to none.

i'm yours until i indeed,
turn to dust.
When it rains,

      poetry soaks me to the bone.

    I toss the old bulky umbrella aside,

            and allow my pen and parchment to collide.

         Dripping words from my chin,

my feet dance... the puddles of emotion they're in.

   Keep your towel, your sheltering tree,

           poetic rain frees a soul ...it stimulates me.

   Oh sky of wonder, bathe my body, cleanse my soul,

               allow my words to fill some holes.
The moon;

The moon bathes in hues that even a poet has a difficult time putting into words most often.

Its hues are identical to the lover that your mind & body shall never forget.

Breathless words...

bountiful
and perhaps
schizophrenic
yet,

a once in a lifetime grouping of words to kindle raw emotion.

Poets; like the moon,
are so underappreciated...

you there;

you only think
that you
know the moon
and us.

I can assure that,
  
   you don't!

I run with wolves
   of unity and freedom.

    You'll never know the moon or me!!!
We are most often the broken that try and fix the less broken.

   We don't leave much unknown, unspoken.

Cause' there's...

       Not enough time in the day for sulking.

When we see your pain,
     we try to ease it with our sometimes clumsy joking.

.... We are the broken that mingle with the unbroken.

      We are inside, the forever tormented broken.
Ah, nevermind

I'll procrastinate tomorrow


written by me... ..
let's talk, shall we?

look, i know that you think of me just as i,
think about you.

avoidance is a game of procrastination,
of the inevitable.

i get it, i get that people's feelings need to be spared or how ***** you think that you might feel, because of other's feelings.

but, think about you for a moment.

think about how a full moon meets a horizon of glass top water.

think, think about the lunar waves that occur during such an encounter?

think about fulfillment and becoming one at long last with what makes you a woman.

procrastination only leaves the hungry to starve.

you, your womanly needs
and both sets of lips,
would be better served to remember that.

i mean, let us be real, let's be real now!
She was pure
    
       and untouched;

           like the very first

        crystals of snow.

   Freshly budded rose and

             essence of lilac with the

                   fraility of a fallen leaf

   adhered to the sidewalk.

              He painted her soul

                  with his unique unprimaried color,

     and left her....

                        forever stained.
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