I look up at the tall magnificent tree that stands before me.

Some limbs freshly cut.
Smooth is its yellowish tan interior.

Standing there in that moment, in the icy cold of winter's grasp.

Staring at that fresh cut limb with my German Shepherd, Sabre in tow.

I went back in my mind, into my memories.

I wasn't standing in the icy air of winter any longer.

But rather, staring at that fresh cut limb, it brought me back to the smell of burning wood and a bonfire during an already late July's sultry summer's night.

If not for memories like these?

I may have felt the cold of the February air but, I didn't.

Instead, my memory, my imagination brought me back to an aroma of barbecue, burning wood and friends and family.

With memories.
I can take myself any place and any where at any time.

It's just then that I think.....what a magnificent gift our mind and our memories are when utilized the way that God intended.

why i can not
ever be,
fully happy.

because,
within one mile
of leaving
my home for
work in the
mornings,
there is always
road ****
that my eyes
always find
and that my heart
aches and
breaks for.

within one mile
of leaving
my home to
'hopefully',
start a fresh day
happy and
smiling just,
never
lasts long enough.

that one image
of death,
no matter how
insignificant that
you may think
that;
squirrel's
rabbit's
cat's
bird's
life is to you,
means something
totally different
to me!

that's a life;
period
end of story!

a life that
suffered.
a life which
i wish that
i could restore.

and my sadness
overwhelms me
knowing full well
that i do not
harness that type
of power and that
tomorrow this
will only be,
deja vu.

i think to myself;
why am i
still here?
what have i
done to deserve
to still walk
this earth?
why must
others suffer so?
whether they
be man, pet
or beast,
why must
they suffer?

it's then
i think;

here i am,
lying in bed with;

a roof over
my head.
food in my
pantry and
refrigerator.
water to hydrate
myself with.
a family that
loves me.

why?!?!

why do i
deserve these
things?!?!

and why do
the roakill
and every other
starving,
thirsty,
homeless,
unloved deserve
their fate?

why?!?!

this is why
i can never
be happy,
REALLY happy
because i will
never allow
myself to be
happy because
of all of the
death
cruelty
and unhappy
events around
me.

my heart has
been broken
beyond repair
but as a sponge
it still
works great...

sadly for me
and my
unhappy life.

i'm not a hot weather guy

i'm not that summer all year round kind of guy

i toil enough in direct sunlight and hot weather every day,

i have for a very long 36 years now

by early May i am no longer that white guy

i'm already that brown guy,

that savagely tanned guy.

i'm not a beach guy during the day

i don't need to kick sand up in the air with my feet

i don't need to build sand castles with the sun
declaring war upon my back,
my skin

to be fair i find "beaching it" a complete
waste of my time so i never even ponder it

i'm also not the guy that screams "Marco Polo"
in our swimming pool that i am never in

i'm not a boating,

water skiing
or jet skiing guy either,

i'm not missing anything

i don't need bonfires exclusively in summer like most do

i don't need more heat on top of heat,

i'm smarter than that!

i will take a bonfire in crisp autumn air with
the crackling sounds of fallen leaves under my feet

ill take a bonfire to warm my icy hands and toes
after i slide down a snowy country *****
on a rubber tube at lightning speed

i'm not a guy that lays in direct sunlight on purpose

oil lathered over my entire body and tortured skin

cooking my body,

sweating for no other reason
than for vanity and cancer later on in life,

i'm not that guy

i am a guy that likes to cozy and nestle up
in a fresh cool,

apple crisp midnights air

this guy lives for the first sight of a treed hillside blanketed in auburns,

golds,

spearamints,

pumpkins and cinnamons

the first snowflake to fall and dance upon my eyelashes

now that guy i am!

as a poet i also know that i can get just as breathtaking
a sunrise or sunset in the spring,

fall and winter as i can in the summer

so this guy doesn't need a summer time sunrise or sunset either

believe me when i tell ya...

this guy is just not a summer time guy!

everyone
    wants
      to
         leave
           footprints
             that
                last.

i'd
   rather
     leave
       footprints
         that
            are
               worth
                  following.

A strange blend of shyness, of pride and conceit,
and stubborn refusal to bow in defeat.
I'm spoiling and ready to argue and fight,
yet the smile of a child fills my soul with delight.
My eyes are the quickest to well up with tears,
yet my strength is the strongest to banish your fears.
My hate is as fierce as my devotion is grand,
there is no middle ground on which I will stand.
I'm wild, i'm gentle, i'm good and i'm bad,
I am proud, I am humble, I am happy, I am sad.
I'm in love with the ocean, the earth and the skies,
i'm enamored with beauty wherever it lies.
I'm the victor and the victim, the star and the clod,
but mostly i'm Irish and in love with our God.

we drove east on that long dark enchanted country road.

we drove without responsibility nor care.

we simply drove awaiting the morn's first light.

we wanted to be anyplace except for where we were.

but every place began to blur and run together.

which made me wonder... ..

perhaps we needed to simply get away from one another?

the darkest roads will still be the darkest roads when tomorrow comes.

what a God send... ..

we've run out of gas ironically,

at a fork in the road.

who will sharpen me?

is it ye?

if i am iron,

remember... ..

only iron can sharpen me.

I wake up and

  I think of you

During my morning shower

   I think of you

Sipping my day's first cup of coffee

   I think of you

Driving into work

    I think of you

Many times throughout my work day

     I think of you

On my drive home from work

      I think of you

Eating that day's dinner

      I deliciously think of you

During my ending day's hot relaxing shower

       I think of you

As I lay in bed trying to fall asleep

        I think of you

And during one dream/fantasy per night's sleep

        I think of you

I think that it is safe to say that I am always thinking of you

     And while thinking of you;

You have never disappointed me

     If kismet were cupid?

Your lips would never be lonely

    either set of them

Reality of ******* lived out through fantasy

    Then... ..?

You would always be,

        thinking of me

My blood that rushes to my ***** must get tired of me

      thinking of you

her jade eyes
her brunette hair
her savage tan

her curves defy
her shapely pear
her totality makes my manhood stand

yes,

i have written about you

i am sure that i have written about just about everyone

nothing bad,
nothing good,
simply something
everyday that i must do

i write about items that don't matter to most

i write about topics that most would never think
to write about

i've written about stop signs,

double yellow lines on the highway

i've written about how much that i prefer butter on my toast

i have written about so many things yet,
i know that there is still so much more

all i ever need to do is walk outside and be me

embrace and allow the moment to melt
deep within my core

my openness and willingness to fully absorb,

opens door after mysterious door

yes,
yes i have written about you

i have written about you even when you had no clue

black -n- blue,

sick with flu,


the old and new, the story always grew

yet, i keep it true

i have written about many things

but make no mistake....

i have indeed written about you.

yellow "crime scene" - "caution"
- "danger" tape can be found wrapped around every square foot of every place in this world at one time or another

gawking curious eyes and giraffe necks slowly make their way on by

the lure of horror, shock, blood and death peaks the passer by's interest... ..

so long as it isn't their own spilled blood of course

in this case,

it's just another day of reality in the devil's playground

oh well... ..
it's just another homicide

oh well... ..
the smell of death is common place

yellow crime scene tape has become an integral part of our cultural fabric

a satanistic culture that is not even apologized for any longer

"evil is just evil they quip",
matter of factly

"those lifeless bodies right there"?

"those folks were expected to die sooner or later"

"this crime scene investigation has held me up for 15 minutes in traffic now... ..

INCONVENIENCING ME"!!

"i have a life to live to you know"!?!

nevermind the ^^ irony up there because most folks these days are TOO STUPID to even comprehend it

Women are a completely complicated specimen of uncertainty

Women are a puzzle, a challenge that has always brought out the best in me

   a mystery

Just when you think that
you have them all figured out

Women... ..

they will show you that you don't, no doubt

After 52 years,
  I do

Of course I can't
   speak for you

I know what makes them tick and I know what makes them grin

   You just have to be lucky enough for them to REALLY, let you in

Let the light of late afternoon
shine through chinks in the barn, moving  
up the bales as the sun moves down.

Let the cricket take up chafing  
as a woman takes up her needles  
and her yarn. Let evening come.

Let dew collect on the *** abandoned  
in long grass. Let the stars appear
and the moon disclose her silver horn.

Let the fox go back to its sandy den.  
Let the wind die down. Let the shed  
go black inside. Let evening come.

To the bottle in the ditch, to the scoop  
in the oats, to air in the lung  
let evening come.

Let it come, as it will, and don’t  
be afraid. God does not leave us  
comfortless, so let evening come.

the left wing party
fights,

actually fights
for the right
to barbarically;

mutilate,
slaughter,
dismember and
******
innocent babies
by the thousands
every day in this country

only people led by satan ******
innocent babies

only cowards led by satan ******
innocent babies

a party led by satan will never get my vote

cowards led by satan will never get my vote

satan fills the air waves,
tries to invade your mind through those
left wing mainstream media propaganda machine stations like cnn and msnbc

turn them off

say no to satan

they only aspire to weaken the Christian community... ..

weaken faith.

we have Jesus,
we will always win!

When the sunset flirts with the horizon,
the stars will soon flirt with our eyes.
Our ebon surroundings arouse a gentle calm.
Moonlight reflecting off of the shoreline.
Tightly wrapped in one anothers gaze and arms.
We are blankets with emotions as the night draws deepest.
We are in love with a stanza of time.
The waves come in and we allow them to take us out to the deepest of sea.

death's grip
  on finality,
and the raw
    emotional power
of which it
   besieges and tortures
the minds of those
     left in its wake....

is an event
    of trauma which
never releases its victim,
     leaving chasms
abyss's and voids
      forever left numb
to fill the missing
    of that which will
never return is....

  a path
       forever meandering
towards a mirage'd sun soaked
  horizon that
never nears.

to never see
a face again.

forever...
   does not pretend.

once departed,
    here.... it
mysteriously all ends.

from the
   limp and lifeless body....hopefully
   your soul ascends.