You, there in Heaven.

You know that I miss you, right?

Miss you baby girl.

We awaken every day to history.
History under our feet, touched by our hands and mystery.
Moments that will never repeat.
Moments of love and also great deceit.
Inhale aromas that passion our senses.
Exhale the day filled with bridges and with fences.
You are an individual creation.
Understand that every day in the flesh is a celebration.
We aren't sand in an hourglass.
We are memories meant to last.
Yes, today the sun will once again set.
Make it a day that is empty of regret.
Close those eyes of gentle streams.
Save the best of today for you in your dreams.
Tomorrow will come through the blinds as the sun's rays kiss your naked skin.
Tomorrow is more history, another day for history to begin.

joy and laughter?

they seem to be lost forever in an urn full of ashes

his daily evidence of this?

empty liquor bottle after empty liquor bottle he releases from his numb hand to drop,
crash and left to mingle on the floor with the others

one's death has inspired another's death

ebon spirits beg for his soul

"drink up you wretched soul" they beg

"we await your tortured soul so that we can,
torture it some more"

upon his death,

joy and laughter died and turned every day into endless night

the shadows never leave

their abundance
now comforts him as his only company... ..
'friends'

"drink up"!

your blood is on your hands,

even though i wield the knife

Being held in the arms of a stranger
in this cold world; can feel fantastic when held at the right moment.

But;

Being held tightly in the arms of your soul mate; makes the strangers and the rest of the world go away.




written by me... ..

This day is bitter sweet.
     It's a reminder of when you passed, my heart kept skipping beats.

     My heart was full of sadness and incredibly weak.
     Like my eyes, my heart felt as if it continued to leak.

     My empty heart I struggled to fill through storms and rain.
     But I finally found Jesus, to ease my once unbearable pain.

     Bitter sweet like a grey sky that turns blue.
      Just know, I may go on with my life but.... I will never stop missing you.

I don't
want to
die but,
I
want to
die.



written by me... ..

Everyone
and
everything
deserves
to feel
loved.

If only
I could
make this
happen,
I
would!

:'(

Life's death
is
death's life.



written by me... ..

It is
July 5th
2019

Do you know
where your
life went?

The giver of life.
My 36 year occupation has me out in this often.
Nothing like being saturated by a summer's rain or a dance in the rain with your soulmate.

I
want to
to see
your love
inside


your eyes.




written by me... ..

There is "Poetry" all around you... .. all you have to do is breathe it in, admire it and allow it to fill your soul.

Thee...

morning-
night-
rain-
river-
coffee-
burnt toast-
barbeque-
her lips-
her smile-
her hair-
her perfume-
autumn's wind-
Halloween-
carnival-
cut grass-

life... ..

I inhaled thee.

I inhaled
what most
take for
granted.

Might I
suggest to,
stop
doing that?



written by me... ..

What a
beautiful world this
would be
if
people had
hearts
like dogs

woof.



written by me... ..

Rich in
His mercy
that He
has
abundantly
givin'

Scars... ..?

Scars are
simply
a part
of
livin'

Your life
may be
a
broken
glass

You may
be
wounded
but can be
mended
fast

He's not
done
with
you yet

He doesn't
have you
walking
into
today's
sunset

You may
stumble in
today's
regret

But... ..

don't
let it
steal
tomorrow's
breath




written by me... ..

So many nights lying awake in bed, in my home but I am not even there.

I am always someplace else by myself, away from life's realities.

Respecting the quiet moments and writing down the thoughts inside my head.

That's happiness,
that's contentness for me.

No need for millions of dollars.
No need for unnecessary status symbol cars.
No need for a mansion to lay my head and call home.

What would be greater is if I could be who I am.

All I want from life is peace and quiet.
Alone time.
I adore being alone.
It's the only time I can be me.

Just give me my mind and a writing instrument.
That's when I am always perfectly fine.

I'm a hard working, very simple unmaterialistic man that appreciates simple things like peace and quiet and alone time.

Give me those two things and you can keep everything else.
The only person that can make you happy is you.

I've known that my entire life.
So, I don't like when I ignore myself.

Tick tock tick tock tick tock and then guess what?

It's all over.

Either wantingly or unwillingly, it ends.

Now you see it, now you don't.

It's like whack a mole.
One day you pop up out of bed and the next you don't.

Every choice that you make in this life is like russian roulette.

Your next choice could be your last.

So at least, choose to be you whether others like you or not.
Afford others the opportunity to remember you for whom you really are, good or bad.

I do this with my writing.
If I acted it out?
I'm a multi century dormant volcano.
I'm a vigorously shaken soda so,
let's just not go there.


So now anyway, it's time to rise up out of bed and go out into this strange world filled with strange people and be filled with anxiety and unhappiness.
[And yeah, I know that you think that I am the strange one and that's okay]

It is time to go mingle with others that do not understand you,
and strangers that you do not trust, even a little.

And let me tell you, wearing a half assed grin is quite tiresome and exhausting around others.

But alas, I'll just go through the motions until I get back home where I can happily be me once again.

Glass top waters are rare and fleeting.

The world today craves drama and disagreeing.

It's tough to find the elusive desert rose.

As anger and hate now sits where it use to grow.

Lawns once fertilized with love and a watery barrage.

Now just blistering sand with mirage after mirage.

Packing heat as well in the form of cold steel.

Civil wars brink has arrived with bloodshed and bullets as the meal.

End of times/days certainly draws near.

Glass top waters more than ever, so rare.

Her caresses,
her kisses,
and
her ever stimulated motioned body
were nights
of pure fantasy
as she
tied me up
in her
passion filled
silent lucidity.
Morning afters...
....
I never once
asked;

to be
untied.


written by me... ..

He said :

Summertime is when he would change some awful habits.

Not serious enough at that moment,
perhaps, perhaps just lip service to those willing to listen?

A game he liked to play with himself.

A game not born of lies,
but rather, "who cares" procratination.

He said :

I'll organize those old pictures I've been putting off.

He said :

I'll finish that poem that has been waiting for it's ending.

Announcing to himself out loud,
or anyone else that would listen....
"come summertime" I will. !

And then...

The coldness of winter still thawing,
his bones still cold.

He notices...
His health deteriorating,  slowly.

A cough that lingers,
shortness of breath.

Energy reserves on fumes,
he falls gravely, unsuspectingly ill.

He says to himself:

Come summertime I will see my doctor.

He says :

I will organize those pictures into a neat scrapbook.

He says :

That poem I will finally write an epic ending for.

Trouble is....

For him,
Summertime never comes.

don't lament her death,

she knew that darkness lied ahead

I watch as a lifeless limb drifts down the river of life.
I watch as a storm cloud races across an otherwise empty sky of blue.
I watch these things , I watch....
I always watch these things.

I watch a brilliant flame extinguished and waft away a wisp of smoke.
I watch as a leaf falls from it's tree never to be one again.
I watch these things , I watch....
I always watch these things.

I watch the sun fall beneath the horizon as darkness takes up residence.
I watch the moon but just one half, the other half playfully hides.
I watch these things , I watch....
I always watch these things.

I watch the bird out on the wire and marvel at this balance.
I watch as stars fight to outshine one another in a moonlit sky.
I watch these things , I watch....
I always watch these things.

I watch the evil get rewarded and carry on unscathed.
I watch the good fight epic battles just to live another day.
I watch these things , I watch....
I always watch these things.




written by me... ..

I left you
alone
on the
earth's floor
profusely
bleeding
because;

watching
you die
and gasping
your
final breath
would have
made me
even
more sadistic.


written by me... ..

We
are all
imperfect.
We
all need
a Savior.
Mine is
my Lord
and Savior
Jesus Christ.
Jesus Christ,
God with
skin.

My pain cannot be measured, there is no ceiling,
nor can it be eased with any artificial form of healing.

I have pieces I am trying to put back together,
some that just won't fit , some fragments are as fine as a feather.

Moments of staring off into the never,
I thirst for the time when we can be back together.

Your tear soaked photos I hold them to my chest,
the sun doesn't play anymore for me, neither east nor to the west.

I reach for a smile every once in a while,
just to feel normal, just to keep myself from total exile.

Blackened hearts pump nothing but venom.

Genuine hearts pump nothing but antidotes.




written by me... ..

Her rose
was
my life's
thorn.

Once
appreciated,
insatiable
lust
was born.

Her bouquet
was then
craved
every evening
and morn.

Her rose
with me,
was never
forlorn.


written by me... ..

I wish that there were a heart brake; for heart break.

You can try to sleep it away but; that type of pain is always awake.

My hands

My shoulders

My elbows

My back

My knees

My feet

My legs... ..

None of these
work the way
that they
once did
36 years ago,
before I left
the world of
Advertising and
Sales Promotion
as a youth and
began doing
concrete

As the proud
Dad of
6 adult children,
I don't regret
any of
the aches,
the pains,
the swelling,
and
body parts
that just don't
work sometimes
the way that
they were
meant to

I am a Dad

I am a provider

Providing a
decent life
for my family
on one
paycheck with
help from
no one

I take and
took being
A Dad
very seriously

Sure, my body hurts
because of
my tenacity and my passion
to earn everything
that has ever
come my way
but,

it was all
worth it
and I would
do it all over again

Now,

now I have
been blessed with
taking being a
'Papa'/Grandpa
seriously
× 3

Until my body
shuts me down
and I can
continue to
conquer the pain,

I will continue
to provide as
only a Dad and Papa can



written by me... ..

They started their cars in the dark of dawn;
to begin their day.

Morning birds ******* a serenade to those that will listen.

Beginning a day filled with
intrigue and mystery.

A fresh 24 hours on a journey with new missions.

The mystery of what lies ahead in the next moments of life can leave one anxious and unsure.

Just remember;
as each sun rises and each sun sets to
live life and endure.

People,
always seem
to leave
too soon.

While;

Feelings,
and emotions
remain
too long.


written by me... ..

let's fall off
the edge of the page,
sail beyond the horizon,
leap from the end of the ledge,
sink into the ocean,
then sink deepest...
beyond.

let's slip away
from the rim of the cup,
slide along the edges of ice,
tumble into blades of grass,
roll with the flowers,
soar beyond the reach of the sky.

let's find parts of ourselves,
nobody sees, hears or thinks,
burrow deeper into a new skin,
move away from what has been,
crawl into a place, so far away,
the past will never come around.

Sometimes miracles take time

In the meanwhile,

just enjoy the sky.

Eventually,

time flies.

You're the butter on my toast,
the jam that tops it off.
The one that's hanging on my arm,
the one that's in my heart the most.

You're the feather in my cap,
the sugar in my coffee.
You're the sweet that's in my sweet iced tea,
you're the only girl that fits my lap.

Chorus:
You're the good that's in my good morning,
you're the Yee that's in my Yee Haw.
You're the honey dripping from my lips,
you're the lover of my life, the one that came without warning.



written by me... ..

A bear is chasing me through a meadow
and I’m running as fast as I can but....
he’s gaining on me—it seems
he’s always gaining on me.
I’m running and running but also
thinking I should just
turn around and say,
“Stop it! Stop chasing me. We both
know you aren’t going to catch me.
All you can ever do is chase me.
So,
think about it—why bother?”

The bear does stop,
and he sits on his haunches and thinks,
or seems to think.
And then
the bear says to me,
“I have to chase you, you know that.
Or you should.
And....
sure,
we both know I’ll never catch you.
So, why not give us both a break and
just stop thinking about me?”

But, with that said, he gets back on four feet,
sticks his long pink tongue out, licks down
both sides of his snout.
Then he sighs, looks
behind himself, then at me and says.....
“Okay,
ready when you are.”

I can tell by the look in your eyes
that you've been hurtin

You know I'll never let you down oh, no

And I'll try anything to keep it workin

You gave me time to find out
what my heart was lookin for

And what I'm feelin inside... ..

In your eyes

I want to see your love again,
in your eyes

I never want this feeling to end

It took some time to find the light

But now I realize... ..

I can see the heaven in your eyes

her tongue
so craved his bitterness

thirsty for his
passion filled thrusting hips

her hair
pulled to the side
as her indulgence begins

infidelity's sin has him lusting for her absurdly hard nips

all hell breaks loose... ..

once he
slides in

Father's day

Yea well,
mine
is not
here

Just
anger
and fear

Engulfing
my own
children

A Father's Day
even they
can not
mend... ..

nor,
do we
pretend

Since his
death,
celebrations
I do not
do well

Celebrations
don't
come easy
when
dwelling in
life's
prison cell

I feel
for my
6 adult
children,
but they
understand

My Dad
was
my hero
and
without him,
I am not
the same
man



written by me... ..