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Pj Jun 2020
I always thought that
Being a good guy means that
You get the good girls
The ones that won't just toy with you
Instead of trying to get into her pants
I just want to cuddle
Go on cute dates
Stay up late together
Holding her hand

But here I am
Heart in a million pieces
Crying myself to sleep
Because I'm soft
I'm sensitive
I care
And I fall

I understand now why most guys
Why most guys aren't nice
Pj Jun 2020
I lay awake at night
All alone in a cold bed
My demons daring me to sleep
Give in and become vulnerable

Weak, so they taunt me
In my dreams they just want to haunt me
Giving me nightmares
Little do they know, I'm already in hell
Pj Jun 2020
In this world
We are all just searching
Searching for our other half
The other piece of our puzzle

What if I finally found mine?
What if I finally found the other piece?
One that's just as broken as I am
One that fits perfectly

But I can't have her
I can't hold her
I can't feel her hand in mine
We are worlds apart
Pj May 2020
What do I do when you play with my heart?
Throw it around like we're playing fetch.
Beat it to get rid of your frustrations.
Use it when you want to feel good enough.
What do I do when all you do is hurt me and all I do is love you?
Pj May 2020
You're supposed to go through
All these things in life
But I'm stuck
Not moving forward

Stuck in this endless loop of despair
Of self hatred
Of being beat down
Of wishing I was dead

Stuck in the past of her
Stuck in the past of overthinking
Stuck in the future with my life in my hands
Stuck in the future where I don't know if my life would end

I'm just stuck
In one place
Alone and
Scared

Help me.
Pj Mar 2020
I don't want to feel anything
Not anymore
I used to be happy
My soul was burning bright

My smile actually reached my eyes
That person is gone now
I just don't want to feel anything anymore
Put me in the wooden box
I'll have the darkness as company for eternity
But at least I'd be numb
Pj Mar 2020
Tonight I lay in my bed again
Crying
My memories are flashing through my brain
Crying
Wil this deep sadness swallow my soul?
Crying
I'm sad I know
Crying
Am I enough?
Crying
Do I want to wake up in the morning?
Dying
Do I really want to live this life?
Dying
I feel so much
Dying
I just want it to stop
Aching
The thought of what once was
Aching
Time isn't on my side
Aching
The heart wants what it can't have
Aching
Tonight I'll fall asleep with you on my mind
And I can only hope you do the same
Because when I don't wake up in the morning
My last thought would have been of you.
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