Pj - Hello Poetry

Pj May 2021

I live day to day
People asking me
"how are you?"
"I'm fine"

How do you look someone in the eyes
And tell them
That you're at the lowest you've ever been
That you...

Turn up the music
To drown the noise
The voices telling you to end it all
To silence the sounds of your sobs as you cry yourself to sleep

"I'm fine"

Pj Jan 2021

Pandora's Box

I haven't written in a while
I'm not sure if it's because
I'm happy
I'm sad
Or I just feel nothing

All I know is
The random beating of the heart
From happy to sad to nothing
Remains a mystery

Every day I wake up with
The Pandora's box of feelings

Pj Nov 2020

If they knew

I wonder
I wonder if they knew
Knew how they've hurt me
Knew how they scarred me

I wonder if they knew
Just how much I hate them
If they'd treat me differently
Treat me like their son

I wonder
If they knew that they'll never see me again
They'd treat me differently
Treated me with love and compassion

I just wonder if they know
About the nights I cried myself to sleep
About how much I hate myself because of them
About how much they ****** me up

I just wonder
If they were me
Would my parents
Hate them like I do?

Pj Jun 2020

Nice guy..?

I always thought that
Being a good guy means that
You get the good girls
The ones that won't just toy with you
Instead of trying to get into her pants
I just want to cuddle
Go on cute dates
Stay up late together
Holding her hand

But here I am
Heart in a million pieces
Crying myself to sleep
Because I'm soft
I'm sensitive
I care
And I fall

I understand now why most guys
Why most guys aren't nice

Pj Jun 2020

Demons

I lay awake at night
All alone in a cold bed
My demons daring me to sleep
Give in and become vulnerable

Weak, so they taunt me
In my dreams they just want to haunt me
Giving me nightmares
Little do they know, I'm already in hell

Pj Jun 2020

The One

In this world
We are all just searching
Searching for our other half
The other piece of our puzzle

What if I finally found mine?
What if I finally found the other piece?
One that's just as broken as I am
One that fits perfectly

But I can't have her
I can't hold her
I can't feel her hand in mine
We are worlds apart

Pj May 2020

Love hurts

What do I do when you play with my heart?
Throw it around like we're playing fetch.
Beat it to get rid of your frustrations.
Use it when you want to feel good enough.
What do I do when all you do is hurt me and all I do is love you?