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kromwellfarkus Feb 2020
Nudgin 40
3 squids
Got a ticket
To a gig

Pre organised
To meet 2 mates
They didn't show
So, I'm on me own

It took me a while
To realise
That they wouldn't show

The ticket was a Christmas gift.

I lost my hat.

It was a leather cap with fluffy ear *****..

It was.

I lost one of two joints;
But, smoked my second one
With fellow revellers
I cannot recall their faces.

I crowd-surfed.

I was literally upside down
3 times.

This is how I lost my hat.

I bought it at a servo a few years ago.

Now
I'm home.

Proper fuckn rinsed.

Recalling my evening.

Nudgin 40.

3 squids.

Out of 2 I'd give it 1.
kromwellfarkus Dec 2019
I might stay up for a bit
As she walks and waves goodnight
We both know that I'm lying
On the couch again tonight.

This confused young man
Has grown up
Into a bitter old man
And the years seem to get faster.

There is no help
Even when one reaches out
This black dog on my back
Is strangling me now.

Shallow breaths
Disrupted naps
Just trying
To relax.

She screams at me
I'm not doing my job
As a father, a parent and a partner
I am half the man they all need.

I have plain responses
Eventually I snap
As my only defence
Is "*******", back into my shell.

If this black dog doesn't **** me
Something else will.

Excess consumption of poisons
Just to numb the pains
I give them all a kiss goodnight
With eyes, like **** holes in the snow.

Men don't cry
They internalize the frustration
As I have been taught
Through vacancy of peers.

This fragile silly man
Nudging 40, somehow
Never dealt with his demons
So he has become them all.

Silently slumber with a head full of thunder
Cringe through the noise and the fog
Twist and contort and wake up tomorrow
Grab the leash, and walk the black dog.
kromwellfarkus Dec 2019
Barely try anymore
Do just enough
To avoid the confrontation
The silence is beautiful.

Feed the demons
Whatever they desire
Whatever you do
Don't let them starve.

Inhale and ingest
Consume and spend
An **** of self destruction
Hidden deep within.

My poor children.

Do they realise?
Could they comprehend?
Their Dad is a ghost of a man
Falling apart, walking dead.

Bottle the poisons with the secrets
Encased within flesh
Please don't claim in my eulogy
That I always did my best.

My poor missus.

She is my polar opposite
Strong willed, organised and focused
Pulling me out of the darkest spots
Simultaneously killing herself.

She reminds me of my responsibility
Switches me back to reality
But, she is more ****** than me
But I am full of more poison.

Trickle out painful truths
Drip feed my loved ones
I tell them, I'm fine
But I am a paddock away.

Chase the rainbow
To find the peace
But, I'm just a wasted idiot
Watching tv after midnight.
kromwellfarkus Dec 2019
This isn't a real job
The lines are crossed and confused
Scope of works sometimes so vague
It shortens my poor bosses fuse.

When the job's on, the job's fukn on
We sweat bullets, amongst all the banter
Beers at the yard, lines off of tynes
And doobies to trigger the laughter.

We travel to places, serene and surreal
But also, vile, uninhabitable and ****
Our cars get a flogging, as do our livers
I don't really know, I just rocked up here.

We have seen many leave and given the flick
Jobs so *******, we didn't give a ****
Just do as we're told, take the money and fold
That's what I like about you, **** all.

Rub shoulders with corporate
Just play the fukn game
Remember old mate? What's his fukn name?
Yeah, he got fired, carry on old mate.

So we, the remaining few, represent the crew
Getting kicked out of a pub, maybe two
Sky fireworks, twerking locals and trannies
Mugs away, closest to bulls, play for serves.

As we encounter and share more scenarios
Breathe the ******* out and the good times in
Seeya on Mondee ya pregnant bitumen ****
If not, I'll see ya in the bottom of the bin.
A few in house jokes here for my fellow workers, I wrote this to recite at our up and coming Christmas show... it's not what you do, but who you work with that makes a job worthwhile.
kromwellfarkus Sep 2019
Cold fish
Three kids
Pull away
From my kiss.

We can't go back
To how it used to be.

Bitter
Twisted
If she loved me
I missed it.

Expectation
To change
But I
Have always been this way.

Messages
From other girls
They say they have
What I've been looking for.

But this
Cold fish
Three kids
Is all I've ever known.

I have 3 drinks
Before home
Just to drown out
The noise.

I pull over
Side of the street
Just to focus
On my love for her.

When I get home
She's there
Ready to miss
My kiss.

We have crazy history
I think I made her this way
She has changed and I
Have stayed the same.

I can't leave her
Cos, I'll leave kids 3
And they won't
Ever forgive me.

So the question lies...

Do I stay unhappy
For their happiness?
Or, do I leave
For my happiness?

As a man, the rules are
I get to see kids 3
On the weekends
And sometimes in between.

Cos, if I walk
I walk alone
As my happiness
Is second to theirs.

Or, I wait
Loveless for 8 more years
Desperately try to repair
Bandaid on a severed wound.

I sometimes wish
I could give my kiss
To another
For always and ever.

But then, as a man,
I would not stand
For her to do
The same.

From my kiss
Pull away
Three kids
Cold fish.
kromwellfarkus Aug 2019
Drifting
Barely existing
**** of melancholy
Double pump *******.

Scattered
Disillusioned
Must be
Tuesday.

Less dollars
Than sense
Hindsight
Past tense.

Crawling
In rat races
Left to scramble
Through rat feces.

Skun knees
Disfigured frame
Alone
With only one to blame.

Time expires
Days wasted
Become memories lost
Penniless cost.

Breathe and bleed
Barely exist
Drag knuckle and fist
Continue to drift.
kromwellfarkus Aug 2019
This demon is fuelled
Brimming with ability
Poised and capable
Of ******* everything and anything.

Always tensing
Just during conversation
Eyeballing, fist clenching
Unsure, correct, politely swearing.

This demon is pent up.



This man, in the backyard
He just sits, and smokes, and drinks
Tapping away at his phone
He comes inside to **** and eat.
He says hello, he says goodnight
He screams at us when we've not done right
He sleeps on the lounge
He is a ghost.



This demon I contain
Its talons obscure responsibility
And I sit, and I smoke and I drink
Outside, on my phone.
Useless, piece of fuckn ****
Just, be a part of it
Your family is right there
On the other side of that glass.

This demon has strength
Of which I cannot break
Its chains are worn and not rated
Its strength gathered has gone unchecked.

Until... I just talk
To her, and to them
Be the father they need
And the man she needs me to be.
Consistency matters
Everyday is a new opportunity
To be stronger
Than the demon within.
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