This demon is fuelled
Brimming with ability
Poised and capable
Of ******* everything and anything.

Always tensing
Just during conversation
Eyeballing, fist clenching
Unsure, correct, politely swearing.

This demon is pent up.



This man, in the backyard
He just sits, and smokes, and drinks
Tapping away at his phone
He comes inside to **** and eat.
He says hello, he says goodnight
He screams at us when we've not done right
He sleeps on the lounge
He is a ghost.



This demon I contain
Its talons obscure responsibility
And I sit, and I smoke and I drink
Outside, on my phone.
Useless, piece of fuckn ****
Just, be a part of it
Your family is right there
On the other side of that glass.

This demon has strength
Of which I cannot break
Its chains are worn and not rated
Its strength gathered has gone unchecked.

Until... I just talk
To her, and to them
Be the father they need
And the man she needs me to be.
Consistency matters
Everyday is a new opportunity
To be stronger
Than the demon within.

Conversation like old crust on bread
Affection missing the point
Intimacy long gone
Don't touch me during this song.
Sleep back to back
No more goodnight or sweet dreams
Maybe kick a thigh
During REM or when alarms ring.
Get told I'm doin it all wrong
Get told I have to change
Get told I have to change my ways
No wonder this stray cat strays.

She cant accept the fact
That I am the way that I am
Read my poety to my kids
The way that they understand,
It's cold and the wind still blows
Through my hoody and ugg boots
I shiver as I enjoy my own company
These are the shoes that I choose.

Slight one-liners, tongue in cheek
Don't care, been like this for over 4 weeks
Water off a ducks back
Silly ****, go **** yourself.

I probably shouldn't swear
But here we are
Tonic to my lips
Terrible hat hair,
I tell her how my day was
All the pros and cons
She tells me that her day was "fine"
I raise an eyebrow and don't give a ****.

My poor young kids...

Living with a rancid Mum n Dad.

Poor little **** trophies,
They didn't sign up for this ****.

I'm just trying
And so is she
But, we are two different versions
Of how life should be.

She doesn't read
My poetry.

If she did...

Perhaps we wouldn't be.

Happiness is a lie,

The pursuit is in vain
As the world has been constructed
To give nothing but pain.

Your friends will depart
They will move away
And all you will have left
Is your disinterested family.

Everyone will be too busy
To come to your wedding
To come to your birthday
To come to your funeral.

You will finish school
Work until you're insane
Retire and wonder
What the **** happened.

You will despise your partner
Never get laid
Even a simple conversation
Will be like pulling teeth.

The money you make
Will never be enough
One day, you'll awake in your bed
With nothing.

There is no point.

Your spark will fade
Your drive will dissolve
And your stupid life story
Will never be told.

Maybe it's just me
Maybe I'm just being negative
Or maybe, just maybe
I'm ******* right.

Good luck.

You'll need it.

Another working day done
Say goodbye to the sun
On the drive home
Stop in at the pub.

Couple amber starters
Sixer for the road
Farewell to the bar flies
Boisterous hoo roo.

I turn the wrong way
And continue on
As I am well aware
Of what awaits me at home.

She will be angry
And the kids will be crazy
I will seem distant
Outside, on my own.

I choke down my roadies
If only for dutch courage
Puff out my chest
And exhale the inevitable.

She is wild eyed
She questions my methods
I stand still, nodding in agreeance
While her arms flail in accusation.

The kids, walk on egg shells
To come give me a squeeze
They bury their heads into my puffed out chest
I kiss their confused brows.

I help with dinner
I help with dishes
I have nothing to say
To the missus.

As much as I love her
As much as I care
When ever I'm home
I'm never actually there.

She rips into me
Just before bed
So, I sleep on the couch
To avoid the discomfort.

I awake before my alarm
Quietly, organise my ****
Walk out the door and sigh
It may be a long day at work today.