“ I’m going to love you forever. No amount of time or distance will ever take that from me, and hey, no matter where i go, i always have a peice of you with me in that picture that i still love. I hope you feel the same. I came to that conclusion today. I do still want to do this the right way and i still want the future we wanted when we first told each other this.”


*******.

What did i expect?
What did i want?
wasn’t ever meant to be, never really was, and yet somehow, in the end, I discovered
I had a heart,
because it was broken.
Oh, You fool. You sad, deluded fool.
Torn in two by different ideas of who you were, and it turns out
You weren’t either of them

You know what?
Everything’s not okay
But whats wrong with that

It’s been months.
months
my family is shattered
i never see you
you avoid me at all costs
it’s over
i’ve never been lonelier
i have pictures i want to show you
songs
videos
achievements
stories
but you don’t care, for good reason
i understand you don’t care, i live with it
but why are you still with me at 12am
why do you plague me during my classes
why do i hear your laugh at every block
that **** laugh
why am i afraid to work so close to you
why do i miss you so much
please

It’s been a while since I came back on here,
but i missed it.
I missed this deepest most personal way of expressing myself.
I miss a lot of things.
I miss how everything used to be
Things of you and me.
We knew it would end with a bang, a star that strong can only become a supernova.
And in our vast universe, it was the only star that I cared about.
I do this to myself.
I’m not upset, not at you.
I just hope that you truly are happy, or at least getting there.
Your laughs reach my deepest emotions.
I only want the best for you, and if it requires me to never be in your life again, I’ll take it.
But i’ll never forget you, our dumb conversations, that time we tried buying a star, or even the last time we hung out after my work was over.
I’m glad we had what we had.
Id love to talk to you once more just to properly wrap things up. I promise I’ll be less sociopathic. But if i never speak to you again.
Please remember us.

Lately somethings been bothering me.
it bothers me late at night before i can sleep
early in the morning before i brush my teeth
i’m confused as if maybe it’s just one of those weeks
but i’m not sure i’ve felt any differently before this week.
I can’t remember.
I’m so stuck to something.
I can’t let go even if it’s over
even if it never should’ve happened.
The lack of emotion can’t be filled, trust me i’ve tried.
I tried hanging out with others, to maybe forget that it’s over.
i can feel myself becoming less important in your life.
I can feel myself not meaning half as much to you as i did a year ago.
But i move forward. I’ll never tell you
because then i’ll really ruin it all
i continue to try
i continue to hope
that the smallest glimpse of sunshine will make the rose grow.

Mi amor era algo que NADIE pudo dudar de mi. Te amé con dos brazos abrazado de ti. Yo tuve noches sin dormir nomas pensando en nuestro futuro, y tu? Me tienes que creer cuando te digo que te amo. Tu sientes los sentimientos con todo la pasión del mundo. A mi me encantaba eso de ti. Pero cuando te dije que ya no podíamos estar juntos hasta que en el futuro, que hiciste? Te enojaste y me dijiste que ya no te hable. Lo que nunca se me va a olvidar es cuando dijiste que ya estabas preparada para esto. Para de tratar de hacerme sentir como la persona mala de la situación. No te hallas el valor de decírmelo directamente. Yo te quiero y siempre lo voy a hacer, pero se puede decir lo mismo de ti? Te moviste tan rápido. Yo ni puedo escuchar mi música sin pensar en ti. Y tu? Estás disfrutando tu vida con todo el mundo y su mamá. Tal vez si era lo mejor para ti. Es todo lo que he pensado durante este tiempo. Si quieres decirme algo, Ya sabes donde voy estar. Yo hice todo por ti. Nunca vuelvas a decir que no te tuve paciencia o que nunca pelee por nosotros.