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Sep 2020 · 58
I know you saw me today.
Jesus A Sep 2020
“ I’m going to love you forever. No amount of time or distance will ever take that from me, and hey, no matter where i go, i always have a peice of you with me in that picture that i still love. I hope you feel the same. I came to that conclusion today. I do still want to do this the right way and i still want the future we wanted when we first told each other this.”

Get over it dude. It’s been more than a year
May 2020 · 91
Jesus A May 2020
What did i expect?
What did i want?
wasn’t ever meant to be, never really was, and yet somehow, in the end, I discovered
I had a heart,
because it was broken.
Oh, You fool. You sad, deluded fool.
Torn in two by different ideas of who you were, and it turns out
You weren’t either of them
Apr 2020 · 89
You know what?
Jesus A Apr 2020
You know what?
Everything’s not okay
But whats wrong with that
Dec 2019 · 108
Why is this so hard
Jesus A Dec 2019
It’s been months.
my family is shattered
i never see you
you avoid me at all costs
it’s over
i’ve never been lonelier
i have pictures i want to show you
but you don’t care, for good reason
i understand you don’t care, i live with it
but why are you still with me at 12am
why do you plague me during my classes
why do i hear your laugh at every block
that **** laugh
why am i afraid to work so close to you
why do i miss you so much
Jesus A Dec 2019
It’s been a while since I came back on here,
but i missed it.
I missed this deepest most personal way of expressing myself.
I miss a lot of things.
I miss how everything used to be
Things of you and me.
We knew it would end with a bang, a star that strong can only become a supernova.
And in our vast universe, it was the only star that I cared about.
I do this to myself.
I’m not upset, not at you.
I just hope that you truly are happy, or at least getting there.
Your laughs reach my deepest emotions.
I only want the best for you, and if it requires me to never be in your life again, I’ll take it.
But i’ll never forget you, our dumb conversations, that time we tried buying a star, or even the last time we hung out after my work was over.
I’m glad we had what we had.
Id love to talk to you once more just to properly wrap things up. I promise I’ll be less sociopathic. But if i never speak to you again.
Please remember us.
Jesus A Jul 2019
Lately somethings been bothering me.
it bothers me late at night before i can sleep
early in the morning before i brush my teeth
i’m confused as if maybe it’s just one of those weeks
but i’m not sure i’ve felt any differently before this week.
I can’t remember.
I’m so stuck to something.
I can’t let go even if it’s over
even if it never should’ve happened.
The lack of emotion can’t be filled, trust me i’ve tried.
I tried hanging out with others, to maybe forget that it’s over.
i can feel myself becoming less important in your life.
I can feel myself not meaning half as much to you as i did a year ago.
But i move forward. I’ll never tell you
because then i’ll really ruin it all
i continue to try
i continue to hope
that the smallest glimpse of sunshine will make the rose grow.
Jesus A Jun 2019
Mi amor era algo que NADIE pudo dudar de mi. Te amé con dos brazos abrazado de ti. Yo tuve noches sin dormir nomas pensando en nuestro futuro, y tu? Me tienes que creer cuando te digo que te amo. Tu sientes los sentimientos con todo la pasión del mundo. A mi me encantaba eso de ti. Pero cuando te dije que ya no podíamos estar juntos hasta que en el futuro, que hiciste? Te enojaste y me dijiste que ya no te hable. Lo que nunca se me va a olvidar es cuando dijiste que ya estabas preparada para esto. Para de tratar de hacerme sentir como la persona mala de la situación. No te hallas el valor de decírmelo directamente. Yo te quiero y siempre lo voy a hacer, pero se puede decir lo mismo de ti? Te moviste tan rápido. Yo ni puedo escuchar mi música sin pensar en ti. Y tu? Estás disfrutando tu vida con todo el mundo y su mamá. Tal vez si era lo mejor para ti. Es todo lo que he pensado durante este tiempo. Si quieres decirme algo, Ya sabes donde voy estar. Yo hice todo por ti. Nunca vuelvas a decir que no te tuve paciencia o que nunca pelee por nosotros.
y tu?
May 2019 · 192
Jesus A May 2019
i’m frustrated, i hope you can understand me.
How can i emotionally depend on someone who’s opinion on me changes every 2 weeks?
How can my source of happiness come from someone who’s happy by me once every blue moon?
I’m not saying you don’t love me,
but i want consistency.
it’s selfish to say that i want this love to be a certain way, but i’m afraid.
a fear envelops my body, because this inconsistency will make me lose my mind.
The love i feel from you is the greatest thing anyone could ever feel, but do i want it whenever you’re in the mood to love me?
is this selfish
Apr 2019 · 326
beware of darkness
Jesus A Apr 2019
the sun is radiating,
the birds are chirping,
the dogs are barking.
A man walks by and says hello.
Music is playing

and just for a second,
the most minute insignificant fraction of time,
everything is okay.
Mar 2019 · 135
day 1
Jesus A Mar 2019
ask your teachers
ask the man leaning against the wall
ask this tea
ask the barber
ask the murderer
ask the beatles
ask the preacher
ask the cabinet maker
ask the man who sticks his head in the mouth of the lion
ask the man who will release the next atom bomb
ask the blackbird
ask the man who thinks he's christ
ask the man with the lisp
ask the man with one leg
ask that smiling moon.
ask the man who never showers
ask a clown or ask the first person you see
       in the light of day
ask the men who have never worn shoes
ask a goldfish
ask a kind face
ask the person you hate the most in this world
ask the sad-faced man drinking coffee
ask the plumber
ask the man who dreams of ostriches every night
ask the conquerors of nations and planets
ask the man who has just cut off his finger
ask a bookmark in the Bible
ask the man who slipped in the bathtub
ask even the liars
ask anybody you please at any time you please on any day you please           whether its raining or snowing or whether you are stepping out onto a porch yellow with warm heat.
ask the men who feels almost no pain
ask the dying
ask the most miserable man you can find in his most miserable moment
ask any of these
or all of these
ask ask ask and
              they'll all tell you:
The feeling of not having you is more than I can bear
Thank you Mr.Bukowski

I'm waiting for the sun to rise again...
Mar 2019 · 307
Jesus A Mar 2019
he slept beside his old burnt house


for dark was the night, and cold was the ground
Jesus A Feb 2019
My mouth which could once smile in gladness,
and inspiring stories recite,
now may only curse in anger.
full now of woe and deep despairing
say one farewell,
my sorrow sharing
Jan 2019 · 510
unrequited love
Jesus A Jan 2019
the thought of you has been buried deep within me
seeping through the walls I put against everyone
my "impermeable" shell

the vision of this working is more visible than the colors i see

It's all an illusion

the brain dreams of possessing things it never can.
it will only ever be a dream
and that's for the better.
the bittersweet taste of the reality we live
tastes sweet as honey to you

the blissful ignorance of the life you live is what lets us have peace
that ignorance is a blessing I'm not worthy of.
I think too much.

im cursed.
cursed with loving love
cursed with the lingering thought of you
and the cure is you.
and im not worthy of that cure.

I'm well known
far and wide
for causing more problems than the mind can handle
more than you and I can handle.

im no good for you
regardless of how well you'd compliment me.

my thoughts will only ever remain as thoughts.

you are my curse
and thank you for that.
Jan 2019 · 415
yes I will be careful.
Jesus A Jan 2019
Your picture is engraved
in my heart,
moving between our
light and darkness,
a sudden silence envelops our bodies
and your hair falls upon your face just so.
Jan 2019 · 812
Jesus A Jan 2019
Said the roof to the sky,
"The distance between you and I is endless,
but a while ago two came up here,
and now only one centimeter is left between us."
Jan 2019 · 98
Jesus A Jan 2019
Spring has your name written all over.
Spring is when the sun rises more beautifully
when it sets too

the roses are eye candy for all
spring gifted it to us
If you could just take a moment to look.
You'd see.
You'd feel

what I feel.
Spring has your name written all over.
Nov 2018 · 179
If you know...
Jesus A Nov 2018
The weight was too much for me
I could never hold on to this for too long
I tried my best,
but I just couldn't.
I held my breath
hoping to even see a glimpse of hope
but it seemed pointless
my muscle weakened
and at that moment
I knew
I've been herniated.
You know
Nov 2018 · 285
cha cha
Jesus A Nov 2018
chu chu
cha cha chu chu
Nov 2018 · 236
Jesus A Nov 2018
I like oranges.
I don't like to peel oranges.
Sometimes you have to
do something you don't like
to be rewarded with
something you do like.
Yummy Orange
I like oranges
Nov 2018 · 237
Jesus A Nov 2018
Her heart was a maple tree
So full of love it spilled out of her
like beautiful syrup.
Until he came.
Taking everything for his own use
all because,
She loved too much.
Nov 2018 · 276
reversible poem

— The End —