I lost myself
in all the useless battles.
I really really want to know
what it feels like to be loved
by your family.
In their eyes
I'm the worst human
I didn't commit any grave sins
and offend them
I have always believed that
I'm responsible,
caring, selfless.
I have to accept
that people won't see me
like how I see myself.
I sound so desperate
because everytime,
everyday,
I'm begging for love
For Love
For Unavailable Love.

I don't want to know what you tell me,
because anyone can speak.
I want to get closer to you.
I want to know the REAL you.

Maybe we're compatible
Maybe we're meant to be heartbroken.
I don't want to know the ending.

But why do I only remember
the other mysterious pair of eyes?
His stare gave me pleasure so much
I want to know the ending.

I ......
just wanna continue.
I......
just want to be loved.
It seems it is too much to ask for anything;
please pardon me
because I just wanted to know.

The headache;
The memory;
The bitter medicines I desperately take; albeit I know is CONSEQUENCE;
Horror- banging against my moral.

A clueless silent night.
The wind is blowing gently, calmly,
filling in the pits
and ringing the wind chimes
to wake up to see a beautiful night.

The sky is silently watching,
floating with the wind to
wherever it takes.

The wind and the sky nurture, nurse each other
like a true lover;
making the mortals below jealous.

Even a storm can't mess things up,
if they have each other in their hearts.

If I have to face loneliness and death,
so that I can escape from the prison of your toxicity;
I couldn't be happier more
because it's the right thing to ease my pain.

I don't know what burns me out-
people business -or maybe my own overthinking?

I don't know why I am so worried and sorry for-
when my heart does not explicitly understand what bothers me or not.

I don't know how to cherish myself.
It's easier to convince others because they ain't me.

I can feel my life is wavering;
Like a birch tree in my backyard.  


I wish I could walk backwards;
To destroy the past that I ran away with madness.


I can’t move on yet  
When it is still stubborn as a loyal pet which waits for its master patiently at the door.