I try to fall in love with myself
before I love another.
I want to know the feeling of love
so I know what I'm giving to you.
Love can turn inside out
because it's fake:
because I haven't take care of my heart for a long time.

Just To see and to know,
and to know everything,
ignore everything else around me
and
I 'm off the track.

A spark of this curiosity
flames up after so many trials
and errors.

One moment, after one,
in a never-ending  cycle of hard,
I admit:
I ain't have reason.

I don't want to go to the finish line
Can I just curl up in a corner
with my favourite book?
And I'm lazy.

For 19 years
I've followed you like a puppy.
For nineteen days, you have kept me at arm's length
even though you know my feelings.
In just nine days, I'll be  the witness
of your vow for her.

I scribble
thousands of words
in your diary.
You read them when you have no choice  to accept,
You read them when you're without them,
otherwise, I'm just a scar in your memory.

A mutual exchange of affection
is so hard for us
when we know we have a diary for fantasy.
A thousand of unspoken thoughts of yours,
change the way I see the light.

I'm at your mercy
when you call out my name.
And I pray
these words of yours
is 'I love you'
one day.

I look up the ceiling
My body wouldn't get up
I feel scared and mortified to the core
I feel so wrong.

What could I have been done
If I made another choice:
My, younger self would have been surprised
If I 'm unhappy .

Being an imperfect human,
It hurts when I fall
I am joyful when I experience sweet.

I cover these  unkindness words
That have been told to me
I pretend strong until I have been ripped in the inside, thoroughly and repeatedly.