don’t hurt
my feelings

they are
so small

and fragile

they are
all I have

inside me
I don’t want

to be empty
so please

I am asking
nicely

if I was not me
would you tell me

would you recognize
the difference

do you know me
well enough

have you thought
about me

enough

so that I live
deep within you

do you have a
model of me

living inside you

if I was not me
would you notice

if I shave a
bit off my brain

will I be normal
will I see less

will I be shallow

and be satisfied
with small talk

will I carry less
weight

and ask less
questions

she cut bangs

a straight line
a frame for
pain

sharp nose
subtle skin

eyes that
never lie

lips that
never open

without reason

a body with
long branches

and deep roots
a mind tattooed

with history
everything in

memory

I want her
to remember me

you see me
I can feel it

a disturbance
growing

like a ****

creating a
new form

you see me
I can feel it

a desire
growing

like a flower

wanting to
change me

making me
want to change

I too wish
I was special

the drumbeat
carries the
emotion

of desire

the thump of
growing pressure

that won’t let me up

pushing me deeper
into myself

so that I stand
close to you

smell you
feel the heat
leaving your

skin

but I can never
reach you

I don’t
belong here

I don’t
belong here

I didn’t need
to say a word

she smelled
the pain on

my breath

the desire for
healing or death

she colored
my life

darker than blood
deeper than love

making me
take my

first breath
of violence

I am so empty

I could drown in
shallow water

I need you
to save me

you know so much

tell me something
deep that

will fill me
for months

make it slow
make it drip

into me

let me savor
each point

like only you
know how

I vaguely remember
this little girl

when I was a little boy
I think she was my

first friend

I don’t remember
what she looked like

I don’t remember
what I looked like

I remember her name
I remember the sadness
we felt

when she moved away

I remember the whispers
in the next room

when her dad died

in a garage
the gas running

funny the things we
remember and the
things we don’t

funny or sad

you painted
on my skin

permanently

the image
of being lost

a tree without
roots

tossed by the
wind

looking for a
home

a place to be safe

it was an
image of me

then and now

how did
you know

a white rose
petal plucked

before it
was ready

discarded so easily

the gentle fall
without sound

floating on
a breeze

a soft landing
into restless sleep

so bright it was
going to be

who can hear
eternity when

it cries

tonight I
do not have

the words
for anything

my mind is
fragments

disconnected
from my soul

my heart is
simply a pump

I cannot form
complete

sentences

I see no
patterns

in life

I have nothing
to express

some words
don’t exist

they are phantoms

teasing our
tongues

invading our
souls

spreading through
our veins

making us believe
in them

so we will share
them with others

that is the only
way they

can live
because they

don’t exist as
anything else

red lights
frame her

s-shaped
body

she leans
against

the wall

eyes closed
she inhales

deeply as
the ashes

grow beyond
reason

smoke
is a snake

dance

she smiles
feeling relieved

from another
world

her light
let everyone

feel warm
so they could

release their
pain

she was innocent
but she took

within her
the hatred of

others

dissolving it
turning it

into her light
helping everyone

feel warm

when I am
hiding in

my blues

the ocean
and the sky

aren’t deep
enough

for me to
disappear

I still feel
so vulnerable

she prays to
the fresh flowers

in the field
of dreams

asking them
for beauty

she wants to
grow into

something
desired
and admired

she wants to
be inhaled

and held tight
by someone

desperate for her love

feeling luxurious
like the

fresh flowers
in the field

of dreams

ferocity flows
through her

touch her
feel your

sparks ignite
tiny explosions

that tickle
your deepest parts

like your soul
is being

massaged

you can finally
relax and forget

and let yourself
go anywhere

she takes a
photograph

of speed

my brain
is a neutron

bomb

the earth is
a dangerous

place

humans have
existed for

a breath

I am is the
first name

of god

I remember
it was dark

the flame
of a candle

cast a
flickering

shadow

lighting
a path

to our secret

we dare
not breathe

we could
lose our

light or
give away

our secret

she said
I am numb

my soul does
not feel

I accept
everything

as inevitable
my dog is

neutered or
asleep

I can’t eat
raw meat

it makes
me sick

she said
you are not

the animal
I married

the demon
is named

power
look at

the faces
as they

speak

eyes widen
lips snarl

voices expand

words lose
meaning

in emotion

the only
antidote

to power

is to listen
closely

study

and think
for yourself

power only
grows when

it is unchecked

I’m sorry
trump family

I live in a
democracy

I do not need
an enemy

another side
is like a coin

which does
not exist

without
another side

conflict is
the path to

truth

we are all
simple
creatures

with biased
beliefs

needing to be
challenged

to understand
ourselves

a body
collapsed

into

one shade
of white

every limb
is loose

folding into
itself

she cannot
fly

she will not
swim

she sinks
beyond

my sight
and sound

it is something
wonderful

to feel like
you are

understood
by someone

it is the one
time you belong

for some of us
it is a fleeing

moment

we treasure all
our lives

it is like
all the precious

metals in the
world became

one and we
bury it deep

so we can
discover it

again

leaving the trail
we do not follow

wanting to be
the first to discover

she sings a new song

her voice tickles
my ears

a bird we cannot
see tries to copy her

we listen

lost in the tall grass
we laugh losing

our sense of danger

in the field of
butterflies and bees

the city is bleeding

using needles to
drain the pain

of so many same days

we play with organs
like instruments

feel them weaken
under the pressure

mosquitoes bite
just for the fun of it

we let them have
their fill

watch them
enjoy their feast

then fly away slowly
just for the fun of it

our mouths are
gaping holes

of sound

I am not alone
the past is

always with me
and memory is

never pure
or static

so I always
make new friends

or learn something
new about

old friends

of the slightest touch

from the right person
at the right time

when the mind empties
and the heart fills

and the body is energized
and the soul is resurrected

I was afraid the day
you said

I did not understand
I do listen

I hear words and
their meaning

I see words as
they are spoken

as if they are real
and have substance

I do not hear
what you meant

to say

those are other
words that I

can’t hear or see
unless you say them

dig a small hole
to the deep

inside

release it
let it flow

slowly

close to the
surface

give it
words

to help
it move

that last
little bit

shape those
words into

something
beautiful

that everyone
wants to wear

on their
deep insides

her words
are needles

understanding
pressure

points
she can

give or
release pain

excruciating
or ecstasy

I am at
her mercy

you ask me
questions

test me
confident

in your own
intelligence

&

awareness
of patterns

but you will
never

understand
the day

we actually
emerge

from our
mechanical

cocoons
your old eyes

will never
see the

difference

taste in the
deepest place

at the source
the impulse

that spreads
into every cell

there is no
resistance

there is no
desire to resist

more than in you
I am part of you

deeper than
blood and breath

I am inside

the program that
controls blood

and breath

there is no you
there is no me

there is only us

lavish me
in yellow

and orange

don’t be
greedy

let it loose

wash away
my years

make me
feel young

I want to
shine again

I want to
be the sun

rising
everyday

if you remember
scratched records

when they would skip

you might understand
my mind

falling into a groove
repeating sounds

and words
and feelings

only it’s not as
easy to notice

and there is no one
to move the needle

her body
is a formula

a mathematical
recipe for

perfection
and control

each muscle

has a voice
in a chorus

singing hymns
declaring devotion

to her gift

I feel religious
when I watch

her dance

your words
have teeth

and each time
you speak

a piece of
me disappears

into you

I cannot
leave you

it would
feel like

leaving myself

I find her
like me

damaged
and alone

sitting
raw

and naked

in the
abandoned

dirt road

waiting for
something

that will never
come

to run
over her

wanting to
feel

her last
moment

life is honest
it has no layers

nothing to peel through
nothing to analyze

it just is

we create all our
confusion and chaos

and give it to each other
creating layers of

languages

a virus
a dis-ease

we need all this mess
to be human

and so

once again I ask
you who is more

human than me

not the news
people

the art band
from the last

century

make me think
make me dance

at the same time
is that legal

in this century
is it the same

as it ever was

we are signals
messages

communicating
chemicals

learning to cooperate

we are formed
in liquid

a puddle of
nutrients
feeding us

giving us shape
and substance

at some point
we become
something

that can
be grasped

and named

and if we survive
we become

the beginning
of something

bigger

she talked to you
and you mattered

at first it wasn’t much
casual words she

may have said to others

but you could see her
eyes were open

they could take in
more than the others

it didn’t take long
for you to let her in

she entered your mind
she felt your scars

and she wasn’t scared
but you were

you pushed her out
before she could reach

the spot

not knowing
its place

who asks why
he scolds her

saying you
should not be

concerned with
reason

you are too
pretty for that

not the devil
he is

wicked in a way
I want to be

with a wink
and a grin

always forgiven
for his sin

before he commits it

understanding
the equation

of pain and
pleasure

desire and
obsession

he stays one
step ahead

always changing
the rules

of the game

every day I ask
for less

training my soul
for tomorrow

the world is
cracking up

creating more
sides and nothing

to connect them
so everything is

a line we dare
not cross

in the real world
the earth has

no lines or
borders or

boundaries
in the real world

the equator
is a man-made

myth

she dreamed of
being a flower

a perennial
that would

bloom beauty
a vibrant color

living for
a moment

spreading herself
around the world

then go away
for a season

living in the
earth unnoticed

untouched
only to return

when she was
ready to bloom

again

her thoughts
sink to the bottom

where men cannot
breathe

where light cannot
reach

they become those
strange creatures

that swim alone
and glow in the dark

a closed mind
a cell
a place with
stale air
and statues
rigid
frigid
nothing enters
nothing escapes
nothing is alive
nothing can die

that must be so
hard and painful

to never breathe

we see through
eternity

we hold angels
in our hands

like butterflies

we whisper and
create winds

hear our words
calling to you

to that place
in you

that knows more

that you always
follow

and call it you
and yours

because it makes
you feel powerful