we take turns

writing down
our secrets

we memorized
the pattern

for creating
a perfect flight

we press
down hard

on each fold

we find a place
where we can

be alone when
the air is calm

so each flight
ends safely

in our hands

with every part
she plays

she pulls me in

a lightness to
her depth

I could breathe
in her darkest

matters

she never
blends in

she never
stands out

she becomes
each life

she plays

to every life
she lives

your secrets
are not buried

beneath rubble
they are right

there for anyone
to see

anyone with the
right eyes in

their mind

to see what is
right in front

of them

I have this mind

it is too heavy
to float

I sink in thought
and drown in

theories or dreams

weaving equations
or explanations

depending if I
fancy numbers

or words

sometimes my mind
is so heavy

I can’t get out
of bed for days

with the tightest
of grips I hold
on to what was
become a statue
no one wants
to visit or clean
so that
all the hardness
holding me
together
turns me brittle
and like an old
leaf meeting
two feet
I break apart
and dissolve
into dust

I wake
at night
the stars dance
to god’s hum
nature plays
her tunes
that blend
so easily
everything
knows it
part by heart
there is no
stopping to
think
there are no
streams into
or out of
this place
you have to
get here alone
through silence

there is no
light in the sky

this dark has
no name

she is not
presence

she is absence
somehow she

knows me

with black cat
eyes she calls me

by my name

I am obedient
to her every sin

scared of my
own potential

I could only
really live

when inside
her skin

all cells are alive
the first night

goose bumps
and heart thumps

bones ache
the earth quakes

time suspends itself
on a loop

all sounds blend
when bodies bend

the dictionary

is filled with
empty pages

there is no desire
to explain anything

she wanted to
be his escape

someplace he
could get lost

someplace with
no direction

or destination

someplace too
dark to see

where all speech
is touch

but she offered
him too much

so he never
wanted to leave

and thus it was

that she had to
break him

skinny
white bird
so sensitive
to sound
I do not
want to
scare you
I want to
be near
you so
I can
tell you
I am you
in my own
form
I cannot fly
to get away
but I can
dream
of living free
like you

there was
no time

on this day
I disappeared

and existed
all at once

merged into
an idea

that would
impact the

world

dancing with
two godheads

the destroyer
of form

the creator
of change

carve out
of me

everything
that does

not belong
you can see

what I can be
without all

this excess
I have allowed

to enter me
please

leave me
this skinny

starving
creature

praying for
forgiveness

for all that I
could have

done

it has a pattern
it repeats behaviors

everything does

it is their weakness
it is our weakness

that’s why it can
attack us

it learns our
weakness

by replicating
itself rapidly

we can’t do
that physically

that’s why we
invented science

we can experiment
and share knowledge

in essence we can
replicate and share

our minds and
together as

humans attack
our common

enemy

I think the
metaphor

is about
being lost

or perhaps
being unsafe

or being alone
or something

else that is
not to be desired

but I watch
them for hours

sitting one
next to the

other barely
moving

and I feel
nothing

but peace

tonight my
muscles ache

a rope
threaded
throughout

tied way too tight

sometimes my
body feels

this way
without reason

and on these nights

it is hard to breathe
it is hard to think
it is hard to write

when everything
is so tight

you assume me
into existence

in your mind
I am

complete
not a human

a judgment
in your mind

I lose all my
nuance

my right to
be wrong

admit it
and grow

in your mind
I am a statue

an abstraction
a theory

this time
I’m happy

I don’t actually
live in your mind

skin like
paper

to cut or
be cut

she is
vulnerable

in his hands
in his words

she goes to
the place

she can be
alone

raises the
temperature

to scorch
and screams

dreaming
she is going

down the
drain

I say three
words

with nuance

only three
words

and each
time we

speak

you seem to
understand

more about me

eventually you
will know

me so well
I won’t have

to speak

how lovely
that will be

my lips are

scissors or
swords or
scythes

whatever is
needed to

cut through
all the crap

spreading
through the

electric waves

thinking for
yourself is

the lost art

this is not
what they

meant when
they taught

us to share

you asked me
to be the sun you

always wanted

but I was
more like you

the moon

only shining
in darkness

making waves
going through

cycles where
my light shrinks

until it almost
disappears

sorry I could
never be the one

who warms you
like you wanted

me to be

she dumps me
over the side

I fall deep
enough

to where I
am without

breath

to where the
ocean asks

me questions
wanting to

know where
I come from

I tell her
my story

she cries her
first tears

and gives me
all the oxygen

she has

so I can live
long enough

to love again

I enter the collective
without a soul
it was missing
since early childhood
when neglect
blew out the
first light
and it was
never replaced
the collective
promises to
replace it with
something living
beyond the voices
in my head with
something living
beyond the stars
in the sky
it only asks that
I give up questions
I give up thought
I give up doubt
and I tried but
in the end it
was too much
to ask for
sometimes I
wonder if I
made the right
choice

he promised me
I could be the
smallest word
that I could hide
in his book of
mysteries and
everyone would
see me but
no one would
ever find me
and he tried to
keep his promise
but he never
saw you coming
the clever girl
who could read
between the lines
and understand
the smallest word

yes it was
when I first
saw you that I
realized that
words have limits
that all that
I mastered
would never be
enough to say
what I feel
that there is
a place in me
that cannot be
reached and
because of you
I have to admit
it exists
no matter
how much it
pains me

to be clever
to make god laugh

and tell me I
never thought

of that

but making
you laugh

is enough
for now

I am haunted
by shadows

the lost dreams
a little boy

held inside
no one heard

his soft voice
so he buried

them in his
deepest parts

where they lost
their connections

rotted and
turned dark

nature is so
easily buried

beneath the
artifacts of man

their rules are
my structure

and I walk in
straight lines

and I step on
no cracks

but I know
when I meet you

you will change me
you will set me free

we will have a
relationship

like the wolf
and the moon

she bends like
a young branch

or a flowing river
there is no resistance

in her
when I see her

magical movements

I think we
need to create

a different name
for her body

and declare her
the new truth

and create a
place like her

where we
can all fit in

when I asked
for your breath

it didn’t mean
I couldn’t breathe

but I saw how
easy it was for you

and I really meant

I forgot how
to exhale

in a way that
released

some of the pressure
I placed on myself

and you seemed
to have mastered

the process I
thought maybe

I could learn
from you

I pricked my skull
and dug around

a little

to find the
source

hoping to create
a tiny hole

create a leak
where only the

best parts of me
would drip

a tiny hole
from which

I could escape
and leave behind

all the crap I
let build up

before I knew me

the body is
a blooming

flower

the color
of the sun

the fragrance
is a message

floating in
crisp air

the morning is
a moment

we first meet
and face the

day together

I was the sun god
the radiance
the dance of dust
they said don’t look
directly at me
I will burn your eyes
they said don’t name me
I will burn your soul
you were the brave one
never one to believe
the words of the ancients
you entered my realm naked
green eyes wide open
ready for whatever came
you looked right at me
called me love
and now you stand
next to me
and they tell the next
generation to never
look directly at them

swallow all
my words

whole

like pills
release their

magic

into you
let them

flow

through all
your deep

parts

let them
break your

resistance

and turn
you into a

feeling

she paints

fingers as
needles

penetrating
points

her lips
can’t reach

she knows
where I

buried my
true self

but she
keeps it

to herself
and her

paintings
of me

smaller than
an orange

I lifted her
and saw her

bruises and scars

she was not
perfect

but I took her
home anyway

she was
so sweet

I tried to
catch a leaf

as it fell
floating

in the coolness
I always

wanted to be
changing

directions
adapting

to the push
and the pull

always in
the perfect

position to
land so easily

the first girl
was a mystic

a gust of wind
a thunder clap

her hair was black
her heart was open

she asked me
to religion

we crossed
our arms

and prayed
to our past

the mothers and
fathers of our

fathers and mothers

asking forgiveness
for what was to come

after we expel
all the words

silence settles nothing

leftover feelings
are piranhas

each one too small
to matter

but together they
devour all that matters

last night

there was not
enough blankets

you didn’t take them
I just felt colder

than usual

when I meet
a mind

I want to enter
there is a

mystery
I detect

a labyrinth
a laboratory

experimenting
sensorially

doesn’t matter
the sense

it is all
a natural

explosion
a big bang

ushering in
a new universe

yes she said
I know

sometimes
I like to

bury myself
in blue

is this a deal
breaker

for you
I hope not

I hope you
understand

I need these
blue days

so I

don’t cover
myself in

red

this summer
was rare

not much rain

the river is
shallow

it is easy
to see to

the bottom

we sit on
the narrow steps

take off
our shoes and

dip our feet in

and let them
play with

the little fishes
swimming

between the rocks
and shells

never the angel
she escaped

Schrodinger’s box
she was alive

and we all knew it
we wanted

to live life
like her

outside the box
and if we died

living like her
we wanted

everyone to
know it

almost the
perfect word

nothing is perfect
it conjures

innocence and
freedom in me

a time before
questions and

answers and
words were

for playing

when gardens
were free

and full of
birds and bees

and beautiful weeds

the window wanted
to be left open

all night
so it could hear

the night life
see the moonlight

feel the cool breeze
coming in from

the deep seas
it didn’t care

if it rained and
everything got stained

it wanted to be
open for everything

I lifted you from
rough waters

held you
like a swan

in an elegant
embrace

the gentle breeze
comforted

our broken souls
until we could

quiet down
our insides

and begin to mend

I just started
playing with

w o r d s

they were like
blocks and

my mind was
clumsy

everything I
wrote was a
sloppy mess

then paging
through a book

I stumbled on
a poem named

f e r n s

it became my
model

teaching me
how to paint

with    w o r d s

the gentle man
has disappeared

there are no posters
looking for him

the neighborhood
is not holding

hands as they
comb through

the dark forest
there are no

flowers or signs
in his memory

he is not
remembered

or missed
by anyone

but he will be
when silence

and sanity return

her angelic
demon eyes

see into the
darkness

anything that
moves is hers

with her claws
she scratches

her tag
leaving her

marks in the
deepest parts

of me

she is the true
soul of a cat

she dares me
to domesticate her

as she purrs
in my ear

only her body
was small

everything else
impacted the

planet

compassion
is the best

type of
passion

I think her
voice is

an echo

living in
many

generations
she will pass

through time
and be felt

just short
of forever

it was the moon
who taught me

I can’t love myself

I would watch
it shed itself

each night

until it was
so skinny

it would near
invisibility

I could feel
the pieces fall

but I could
never find them

I wanted to be
the one who

saved the moon
from itself

but I never could