they said
I should

never lose hope

so I plant you
in my garden

I water you
and wait

for you
to grow

I sit in
the grass

beside you
and talk

telling you
I believe

in you and
other things

and each day
when I go

to see you

you are always
there

waiting for me
listening to me

watching me grow

her face was
scientific

supersymmetry

god had a smoke
after he made

her

eyes made of
soul

blue-green
ocean-deep

hypnotic

skin radiant
a polished stone

delicate &
vulnerable

no one would
touch her

afraid of
changing

her

abundance

she is without
shame

architecture

with precision she plans
her next move

education

she thinks
before she acts

history

she knows other
points of view

legislation

with words she
creates context

religion

still she has
her way

justice

everything being
equal

liberty

her spirit
is free

militia

she will fight
for her rights

peace

to be one
with everyone

the change
from one

day to
the next

you are

searching
for a path

as if it
exists but

if the truth
is nothing

is laid out
it means

you will
have to

carve a
new path

understand
the truth

of carving

you will have
to destroy

things you love
and you don’t

really get to
choose

things will happen
you will cause

pain in others
and you will
have to live

with that pain
true leadership

is lonely

you will have
followers but

they will never
understand

your sacrifice

she thought
she was light

radiant
the sun

beyond mere
understanding

she was

worshipped
as a god

lost in her
movements

a body defying
mere physics

she learned
the secrets of

floating in
space

releasing
forgetting

we live in
a house

with rooms
each one

with a purpose

we meet
as secrets

behind the
closed doors

we do not
lock them

excited by
the dangers

of the sudden
we are

excuses disguised
as reasons

we wear our
masks to

defend ourselves
from truth

believing

the mirror
never lies

I collapsed

at the edge
of the ocean

with my soft
hands I was

holding onto
the space

between sand
and water

I could not
let them

meet

together they
would swallow

me

with sharp nails

she dug me
like I was

made of dirt
scraping away

my skin
reaching my

red drips

I stained
the carpet

abstractly

I was to be
punished

for my temper
the rage of

the rejected
the fire lit

so quickly

by the words
I heard with

my ears or
my mind

humans are not machines

humans are not angels

humans are not gods

humans are not demons

humans are not monsters

humans are not whole

humans are broken

look at me

look in your mirror

what do you see

I do not love
like the angels

where everything
is white

and we all
have wings

to escape
when things

go bad

I do not live
in the sterile

world where
everyone is clean

and pain takes
her pills

to sleep soundly

I live on the
outside where

lines are always
crossed

and the picture
is never quite

complete

yes, less
is more

the negation
of volume

the space
it creates

is so
valuable

absence
is permission

to explore
to discover

another way

to ask more
questions

and wait
for answers

after all

it takes time
to digest

do not shy
your eyes

from what
you want

do not make
me wait

I will not
look away

I am not
an angel

but I have
read the

bible I
know the

seven sins
for which

we can ask
forgiveness

if we are true
to each other

if we believe
in each other

long before
me she

settled for you

so when I
arrived I

already didn’t
belong

to anyone

has one voice
loud it

insists upon
itself

it does not
have ears

it will give

it will not
receive

feedback

it is not
thoughtful

it has already
reached

its conclusions

new words only
make it angry

it is an
untamed

animal
bent on

destroying
anything that

is not itself

who comes
first

the question
or the

answer

life is
never

as simple
as it seems

is the problem
looking

for a solution
or does

the solution
need to

find a problem

the answer is
yes

in philosophy and
religion

pleasing
the gods

or

pleasuring
myself

every coin
has two sides

I toss one and
call it in the air

I watch it
flip and turn

waiting for
it to land

changing the
meaning of

each side to

suit my needs
I am only human

I hope you
are too

a father to a son
riding bikes by

the river

correcting his son
that it is not an

ocean

it is just
a river

and I wonder
if this will

reduce the son’s
wonder at this

important body
of water

will he think it
less important

rather than not
as large or not

as deep

as the father
probably meant it

do not wake
me when my

leg moves

I am dreaming
I am free

I love you
in a way

but to me
I am an

animal
not a pet

not a family
member

and certainly
not a

replacement
for your lover

just give me
these few

moments
to dream

and then you can
dress me up

or whatever

If I shout
I might die

the reverberations
creating waves

in the atmosphere

don’t launch the
astronauts

delay until my
day is done

if they feel
me in this

state they
will join me

as I fall to pieces

the vulnerable
drip

blood
sweat &
tears

leave stains
saying I

was here
they dare

not speak
the words

that they
feel

but they
hear

all that
you say

and don’t
say

they have
been

trained to
listen

to space
and this

is a strength
that will

reveal itself
eventually

is a mess
at first

something is
out of place

it wants me
to notice it

because it
is different

it wants me
to think

it wants me
to question

what I know

it makes me
want to know

something new
it lets me

ask forgiveness
and forget

it lets me
start over

it is alive
and open

to change

I think of small
just a taste

a drip of honey

a whiff of
a pleasing

odor a
perfume

that lingers
but does not

penetrate
it leaves a

mystery
something

to follow

it is sweet
but it could

be more but
if it was more

it wouldn’t
be sweet

we all have
our limits

our weaknesses

one of mine
is direction

I do not
understand

east
west
north
south

I know
the words

but not
really what

they mean
I cannot follow

directions

perhaps that
is why I

have never
found my way

home

she dips her
head in a

puddle of his tears

breathing in
deeply she

holds her breath

waiting for
that dove with

the broken wing
to bring her hope

I thought I
understood

or at least
I could

she didn’t think
it possible

she thought

at most I
could feel

empathize
with the life

of another

that was not
like mine

she spoke
of the

limitations
of shoes

and walking

and I think
I understood

but perhaps
I was just

empathizing

his voice is deep
and fluid

carrying shades
of blue and black

specks of red
in battle scars

I listen to him
he has lived

so many words
and loved so

many pains
a heart held

together by
thin threads

I listen to him

his words
impregnate me

the will be
my children

when I finally
learn to speak

shadows are
happy when

we dance
they are

no longer
foreboding

specters of
what follows us

but dreams of
what we can be

when we let
ourselves dance

the sun sets
goes to rest

somewhere
I cannot see

it is peaceful
knowing it

will rise again

and I am
left alone

in the dark
I cannot sleep

I am restless

not knowing
what comes next

obscure rhymes

playing
on the tongue

sometimes

they make
you think

and sometimes
they are

just fun

what if
everything

was less

it was not
a race

to have more

what if
this god

said

accumulation
was a sin

and most
everyone

believed it

what would
become of

everyone

would we
have more

together

I lost my words

they are small
and easy to hide

I don’t think
anyone stole them

maybe someone
is playing a trick

on me or

maybe I just
misplaced them

this is the worst
time with all

that is going on
all the feelings

that want to be
expressed

I need my words
where are you

when I need you

he cannot hear
your pain

his own voice
drowns out

all other sounds

he cannot hear
your advice

his own voice
drowns out

all other sounds

he cannot hear
your warnings

his own voice
drowns out

all other sounds

he cannot hear
he has no ears

if you take
all that I feel

tonight

and wrap it into
a ball of blue yarn

you could crochet
your own ocean

and drown in me

she said
I scare her

I know things
I shouldn’t

my mind is
made of crystal

and sees the
secrets buried

in the space
between

then and now

between
now and then

she doesn’t
know my secret

I listen and hear

there are so
many ways

to feel

and just as
many ways

to numb

but numbness
is not healing

it is prolonging
the inevitable

time

when the pain
must express

itself in so
many places

same pain in
so many places

my fingers
cannot draw

but my soul is
made of art

so I organize
words to express

the desperate
longing to belong

to a world
I know

I can add
value to

little one
has a point

she uses to
poke me

she doesn’t
have a lot

of words
but she

knows how
to use them

one day she
will bring

down the
world

with her
point

and maybe
then it will

work

I felt you
urgently

like a siren
going off

inside of me
something

clinging
desperately

our souls
entangled

telling each
other

a story that
doesn’t want

to end

like smoke
mostly

I disappear
there is a

trace of me
somewhere

in you

I could be
a poison

or a moment
of pleasure

depending on
the time of day

you predict
this end

for the
gentle boy

perhaps

his story could
have ended

as you say
if he met

Jesus
of Nazareth

or even

St. Thomas
of  Aquinas

where the
intellect is

challenged

but if he met
Paul of Tarsus

or

any of
the zealots

he

would have
run back

to his cave
and talked

to Plato

deep breathing
a thought

like an ant
leaves a trail

we can follow
but like a stream

it will never
be the same

each time
we enter it

I am ok
I am ok

you didn’t
speak my name

out loud

you swept me
under the rug

I was that
bulge everyone

stepped over

I was not
a mystery

in fact
I was

quite famous

everyone
knew me

or wanted
to know me

but you made
sure I would

never be more
than a whisper

skin melts
into cream

I dream
of a world

without me

where cameras
are too big

to hold
or hide

and I can
walk my

dog “diggity”
on the street

and clean up
behind him

and it is
a chore

not a story

religious
political
cultural
celebrity

it is the total
devotion

to a cause or
a person

that confuses me

how does that
not eliminate

a mind from
the equation

change is always

and certainty is
a bottomless pit

(perhaps it is hell)

or what they
describe as

damnation

the more certain
a person is

the more I doubt
them

I believe in
humble optimism

wanting the best
but believing

everything
is at least a
little wrong

strangely
beautiful

shapely
and sharp

always with
a story to

tell

staring at
me escaping

from behind
bronze

locks

they know
they are

my kryptonite
and they will

use this
knowledge

to destroy me
or at least

make me weak
enough to

overcome me

I reach edges

and fall down
it is not round

this world

I cannot get
back to the

place I started
and start again

and try again
try harder

I had one
chance

she wanted
to believe

the universe
was

intentional
that each

step had
meaning

that someone
thought

long and hard
about her

life

that someone
looked

out for her

so she dropped
her pennies

and whispered
her wishes

every rainy day

even to you
I lie a little

hold something
back

I need something
to protect me

you probably
sense it

you’ve probably
heard it all before

and still you
forgive me

give me your
blessing

so I can feel
forgiven

thanks mom

he was always
seated before

the bell rang

he always sat up
straight

he always folded
his hands

he always raised
his hand

before he spoke

he asked his
too many questions

in all the gentle ways

genuinely wanting
to know more

than you could
ever tell him

if I let go
I will fall

and no one
I know is

strong enough
to catch me