she cut bangs

a straight line
a frame for
pain

sharp nose
subtle skin

eyes that
never lie

lips that
never open

without reason

a body with
long branches

and deep roots
a mind tattooed

with history
everything in

memory

I want her
to remember me

you see me
I can feel it

a disturbance
growing

like a ****

creating a
new form

you see me
I can feel it

a desire
growing

like a flower

wanting to
change me

making me
want to change

I too wish
I was special

the drumbeat
carries the
emotion

of desire

the thump of
growing pressure

that won’t let me up

pushing me deeper
into myself

so that I stand
close to you

smell you
feel the heat
leaving your

skin

but I can never
reach you

I don’t
belong here

I don’t
belong here

I didn’t need
to say a word

she smelled
the pain on

my breath

the desire for
healing or death

she colored
my life

darker than blood
deeper than love

making me
take my

first breath
of violence

I am so empty

I could drown in
shallow water

I need you
to save me

you know so much

tell me something
deep that

will fill me
for months

make it slow
make it drip

into me

let me savor
each point

like only you
know how

I vaguely remember
this little girl

when I was a little boy
I think she was my

first friend

I don’t remember
what she looked like

I don’t remember
what I looked like

I remember her name
I remember the sadness
we felt

when she moved away

I remember the whispers
in the next room

when her dad died

in a garage
the gas running

funny the things we
remember and the
things we don’t

funny or sad

you painted
on my skin

permanently

the image
of being lost

a tree without
roots

tossed by the
wind

looking for a
home

a place to be safe

it was an
image of me

then and now

how did
you know