she died
that night

suffocated
by pain

a body
against
itself

cells
contaminated

by an
intruder

no one
let in

but it
had a key

that no one
gave it

and that
remains

the mystery
no one has

solved

in the earth
it was buried

not forgotten
not forgiving

it fell deep
becoming

part of the
core

heating
itself

in rage
it could

not be
satiated

searching
for cracks

looking for
an escape

it found
not one

but so many

that it could
not explode

it had to seep
to reach the

surface and
then spread

either way it
will make

its point

can I ask you
a favor

if I lie on the
table in front

of you
will you

use a thin blade
make a small

incision in
my chest

remove the part
of me that needs

dissect my soul
until you

reach the seed

so you can
understand why

I live and
explain it

to me

I was not home
when you called

used to be enough
it gave us space

we could be apart
and survive on our

own
now

everyone has to
be connected

all the time
I feel wired
         weird

like

I’m part of
a machine

I’m always
close enough

to everyone so
they can touch me

but sometimes
I don’t want to

be reached

her words
rained on me

I was drenched

her words
reigned over me

I was obedient

I could not think
without using

her words
her mind

pre-dated
everything

I knew to
be true

love is a
weak word

to say to her

she teased
the sun

made it hide
behind the

clouds but

the clouds
became

brighter
by being

close to her

we are not
at our best

we tried to
bury pain

paint over
the layers

knowing
there was

rot in our
foundation

hoping we
would not

have to face
the collapse

that’s for
the next

family to
deal with

but eventually
there is no

next family
and we have

to face
the fact

we are it