No
No
No
No

You have no power over me
You have no strength left
You will loose

I know you think you’re in control
Trying to weaken me
Playing on all my fears and doubts

Shut the **** up
I’m tired of listening to you

You have no right treating me this way
You do not own me
You never will
So you might as well stop trying

Go ahead though and try if you want
It wont work
No matter the ploy
No matter the game plan you use
I still refuse

I said it before
I say it now

No
No
No

No

No
You stay a way from me
No
You have no right to do that

I though you loved me
You just wanted to play games
To tear off my clothes
To put me to shame

You blackened my eye
You cut my thigh
You made me cry

You beat me ******
You broke my bones
Then you stole from me
That which was my own

With every ******
You stole more and more
I could not fight back
You handcuffed me to a pipe in the floor

You put your snake inside me
It tore me apart
From that spot between my legs
All the way to my heart

You said if I ever spoke out
You’d come back and **** me
Then you’d **** everyone I loved

Now I lay here
Quietly sobbing
In a pool pf my own blood
Broken  and beaten

Ready to die

Clowns dance
Clowna tel jokes
Clowns do other silly things
All done to make us laugh
But
Behind the makeup
Behind the silly costume
They are real people
Real pain
Real fears
They cry
Real tears

So the next time you see a clown
Remember
Behind the makeup
They are real people
Just like you and me

I love you with my heart and soul
I love you with depths untold
So
Why do you run away
Chasing after guys who just want to play

Voices yelling at me
People hitting me
People punching me
People kicking me


Laughter is heard
I know I am the joke
They get their joy from my pain
They get their joy from my tears


They want me to hurt
Physically
Mentally
Emotionally
They want to laugh at my scars
They want to laugh at my life


Day after day
They laugh
Spit wads stick in my hair
They may be having fun
The fun stopped for me a long time ago

Bound and gagged
Laying on the floor
Naked
Bleeding
Hurting
The Salt from my tears stings
As they wash over the wounds upon my boby


For three years we had been friends
For three years we had been like brothers
Having cookouts
Going to ball games and parties
Celebrating each other’s life
or
Just hanging out
Just the two of us


Little did I know the monster within my friend
It started out as small stuff
Touching
The way he spoke
Sometimes it ways the way he acted


Then one night while we sat on the couch
watching tv
He made his move
And jumped me
I tried to fight him off
But
To no avail


When I fought he fought back
Punching
Kicking
In some cases cutting me with a knife


Finally I gave up trying to fight
Seeing it was doing no good
And was just getting me hurt worse
Once when he had his knife out and was cutting me
I screamed “ Go ahead and **** me while you’re at it.”
His response “No I want to here you scream.”


He finally bound me
And started his ***** deed
Pounding his tool in my ***
Like a jackhammer
Again, and again, and again
The more I screamed in pain
The more he laughed


Through tears and blood
I endured it all
Then he was done
Before he left he told me
If I said anything to anyone
He’d come back and **** me
He gagged me just to be safe


After he left
Through much struggle
I worked free of my bonds


I never said anything about that moment
Until now
Two weeks after this happened
He was in a car crash and died
Justice paid from above

Sticks and stones may break my bones
But words can never hurt me


We are taught that lie as we grow up
However
Words do hurt


The wounds from sticks and stone can heal
The wounds caused by words may never heal


The wounds caused by sticks and stones
Only show on the outside
The wounds caused by words
Go much much deeper within


Sticks and stones may break my bones
But words can never hurt me


What a lie

Mommy the monster is back
Honey I keep telling you it is all in your head
But I will check one more time
No monsters under your bed
No monsters in your closet
Now try to get some sleep


Mommy’s wrong
The monster’s are not just in my head
But all around me


Bullies
Mom and dad fighting
Are just the normal stuff


Abuse and ****
Sexually
Physically
Emotionally


No mom the monster is not just in my head
It lives
It breathes
Day after day it stacks me
Waiting for a time to strike


The face of the monster
Is comprised of everyone I have ever known


No mom the monster is real
You and dad just fail to see it

Darkness of the world
Desends upon my soul
The smile from your face
Fills me with the light of hope


The world tries to get in my way
One look at your smile
Clears the way

Tony what do you think when you look at me
An ocean
Are you calling me fat
Not at all


I say an ocean
Because when you speak
The words have depth and meaning
Not shallow and worthless


Each word you speak
A tidal wave of truth
Each word you speak
A whirlpool


I say an ocean
Because there is treasure
Hidden in all you say


The truth within your words surge
Like a mighty tide
That crashes upon
Everything that is false
Within this world

Believe in yourself
Follow your dreams
Let nothing stand in your way


At times it will seem like
Running head first into a brick wall
Tear down the wall blocking you
Move on


At times people will try to
Shut you down
Don’t listen to them
Look in your heart
Stand on firm ground


Believe in yourself
Follow your dreams
Let nothing stand in your way


When life puts a mountain in your path
Show that you have no fear
Climb that mountain
Hold nothing back


At times the world will try
To hold you down
Brake the bonds
Move on


Believe in yourself
Follow your dreams
Let nothing stand in your way

The devil whispered “ You can’t withstand the storm”
I answered “ I am the storm”

Poetry is the voice of the
Heart
Soul
Mind
Let your emotions flow free
Don’t try to hold them back
You will just make yourself explode


Poetry is release
Letting go of the tension and stress
That has built up over time
Letting yourself calm down
Letting yourself relax


Poetry is
Blood
Sweat
Tears
Poetry is
Joy
Laughing
Fun
Poetry is life
All emotions rolled into one


Poetry is an expression of life
Music
Art
Performance art
Cooking
And many other examples could be named
Poetry is all around us
In different forms
Al expressing life
Life unyeldind

I cut myself daily
Mentally
Physically
Emotionally


The physical cuts
Watching the healing flow of blood
Pour from my veins
Cleansing my soul


The emotional cuts
Never thinking I’m good enough
Calling myself stupid
Trying and failing
Time and again
Feeling lost
Feeling afraid
Feeling unwanted


The mental cuts
My mind bringing up things from the past
Laughing and taunting of bullies
Being yelled at
Being rejected
Getting beat up
Things that happened years ago
Put the mind can not
Nay
Will not forget


I cut myself daily
Mentally
Physically
Emotionally

This is for those
Who never return home
Except for in a casket


This is for those
Who do make it home
But are forever wounded
Mentally
Physically
Emotionally


This is for those
Who never make it home at all
P.O.W
M.I.A
Prisoner of ear
Missing in action


This is for those
Who gave everything their country asked of them
And when there was nothing left
Still continued to give


Risking their lives
Physically
Mentally
Emotionally
Risking pure insanity


Fighting for freedom
Fighting for justice
Fighting for peace


Thank you
For the risks you’ve taken
So this country could be free
Thank you
For the sacrifices you’ve made


Thank you

To sleep
To slumber
To dream


Creation a world of pure imagination
Where even the craziest of wishes can come true
Love
Life
Heroes
Villians
A dream is what you make it


To sleep
To slumber
To dream


A world of pure fancy
Fun and true
Exploring the mind’s pathways


To sleep
To slumber
To dream

He is a *** they say
A homeless wanderer
A drifter
*****
Smelly
Looked down upon by many

However his story is not unlike those of many like him
He was once a soldier
A defender of peace
A defender of justice
A defender of freedom

He fought in many battles
Overcoming the foe
Risking his life
So others could be free

However
After the war was over
After the fighting was done

A new war started
A war within himself
Mentally
Emotionally
Physically
He struggled just to stay alive

It got so bad
His wife left him and took the kids
He lost his job
He lost his home
All because he could not put the war away

The past still haunts him
As he lives upon the street
He moves from town to town
Hoping to find relief

Goodnight Sweet dreams
May you fly On fairy wings
Goodnight Sweet dreams
Walk in the clouds Journey the mind’s stream
Goodnight Sweet dreams

I saw your picture today while going through this box
hadn't seen it for awhile thought it was lost
Joy
Sorrow
Pain
Laughter all mixed together
As memories from the past and emotions flood my soul

A friendly game of cards
Poker
Blackjack 21
Take your pick
No gambling just friends sitting around a table
Drinking beer
Eating snacks
And playing cards conversation light
Laughing telling jokes
Memories remembered
Memories made

The ole swimming hole
Oh what fun we had
Going out over the water on the rope swing
Then letting go with a splash
Splash fights with each other
Pulling one another under the water
Finding things in the mud

Sitting around a campfire
Telling ghost stories all night
Roasting hot dogs on a stick
Who got a story to tell
Who can put chills up our spines
Let the fun begin

Tanks
Jeeps
Trucks
Waiting for the call
Soldiers on foot
Waiting for orders to come


Defending freedom
Fight against the foe
No matter the cost
We must go

Her beauty lights up my life
Her personality brightens my soul


Dark and scary my life was
Then she came along


Now joy flows in mighty waves
Drowning out my darkest days

Depression
Lost
Wandering in a fog


Unclear path before me
Unclear
Unsteady

A sea of hurt
Wells up within me
Wave after wave
Of pain crashes within my soul

Good morning
Rise and shine
Coffee in the ***
Bacon and eggs on the stove

Good morning
A brand new start
New day
New hopes
New dreams

Joy
Joy
Joy

Bubbly Doubly Joy
Sappy Happy Daffy Joy

Joy that makes you laugh
Squirt milk out your nose
Bust a gut
Joy

Joy with friends
Joy with family
Joy just being alone Joy
Loud boisterious quiet and collected Joy

Into the abyss
Into the darkness within
Falling
Farther and father
Into the pit



No light
No escape
Freezing cold
Or
Boiling heat wave



Temps so hot
It makes your skin melt
Dark flames you never see
Until they touch you



Into the abyss
The darkness awaits
Have fun

To cry

To open the emotional flood gates and let it flow
Drowning your pain
Washing out our heart and soul
Ready for a new start

Sunny days
Hauling hay
Sweat pours down your face



Sunny days
Cutting wood
You’re tired
But work to be done



Sunny days
Cows are out once again
Find them
Bring them back
Fix fence

Stand up
Be true to yourself



No matter what life throws your way
Never lose who you are



Never forget where you came from
The trials you had to face
To be the strong person
You are today



Never lose sight of that
No matter what life throws at you
Stand firm
Stand strong
The battle will be won

Live life on your own terms
Do things your way
Do not follow the crowd
Strike your own path
Forge a new trail



You are you
You are not like the rest
So don’t treat yourself as if you are
Find your own gifts
Build them up
Be strengthened by them



Yes there will be pitfalls from time to time
But
Learn from them
Do not run away
Grow

In the fields
Where the wild life play
That is where I spend my days



Fixing Fence
Hauling hay
Cutting wood



Feeding the animals upon the farm
Cows in the pasture
Goats in the barn



Alpaca roam eating grass
It is so nice to have days like this last

Cooking
Spices
Flavors
The kitchen smells good



Cooking
Following instructions
Or doing something all my own
Joy

I believe that there is life after death
Our bodies decay
But our souls live on



What lies beyond the grave
A mystery it is

Heart beat
Time after time
Every time I see you
Wishing you were mine

Climbing trees
Childhood fun
Climb so high
You touch the sun

Her name was Jordan
Beautiful in
Mind
Body
And soul

She was strong
Both in body
And in heart

She used her heart
To reach out to those around her
Bring comfort when needed
Helping wherever she could

So when the war hit
It was not surprising that she was in a medic outfit
Helping wounded soldiers heal

After the war
Her wounds could not heal
Mentally
Emotionally
She started a downhill slide

She stopped taking care of herself like she should
She just stopped caring

Even though she had left the war many years behind
The war never truly left her
Haunted by the images of that time
Haunted by the cries of the ones she could not save

Yes, it had been many years
But it all seemed like it was happening that very moment

She tried therapy
She tried talking to others who dealt with the same poblem

Sadly however she finally just drifted away
Leaving it all behind
Going from town to town
Never staying to long

She has become a homeless drifter
All in an effort to deal with the pain
All in an effort to deal with her past

Barefoot
Grass underneath my feet

She is known as the Dragon Queen
Tall
Slender
Flowing dark hair
Her eyes glow like the heart of a fire


But
Don’t be fooled
She is deadly
Her mouth spews fire with every word from her lips
Her use of the sword and dagger has no equal


Many have gotten in her way
Many have tried to stop her
They have all died

You beat me
You make me bleed
You have even run your bike over me

You find much joy in being a bully
Why
What have I ever done to you

Yet here you are
Pushing me into the mud
Hitting me with a bat
Punching
Kicking

You know I can't beat you
Even though I try
I get a few "licks" in
Then I start crying

You laugh at my tears
You call me names
Why so much joy
From my pain

Bruise after bruise
appear upon me
The blood flows
Yet you continue your assault

You leave me in a heap
As you start upon another
YOU FREAK

Within my soul there
Is a light that shines upon
The shadowy darkness that
Theatens to destroy me

Though the light is dim
as it glows
A mighty fire it will become

He is the Shadow Knight
The most feared creature ever known
Death and destruction
Are his calling

His deeds are many and gruesome
Beheadings
Ripping people apart
Hangings
Just to name a few
And all these and even worse things
He does for pure fun

Sword
Dagger
Poison darts

Crossbow
Flaming arrows
Even the magical arts

Going throughout the land
Destroying those who get in his way
Don’t ask for mercy
It just makes him mad

The Shadow Knight
Knight
Warrior
Wizard

Casting spells
Sword fighting
Crossbow shooting
Anything that causes death
Anything that brings forth destruction

He kills for his own amusement
He kills purely for the joy

I am a friend
Someone you can rely on
My Loyalty will never bend

I am an adventurer
Seeking places unknown
Traveling to the corners of the Earth
Before heading back home

I am a lover
Passionate and true
Pouring out my heart and soul
And giving it all to you

I am a soldier
Though I fight a defferent war
My mind and my emotions
Are the battlefield
My spirit gets torn

I am a fighter
I will defend myself
I will defend those I care about

We were childhood friends
Laughed
Played
Told jokes
The many fun times we had



But your family moved
We could not hang out like we used to
Climbing trees
building forts
or just talking



Then my family moved to another state
We wrote each other from time to time
But you know how things go



You were my friend
My partner in crime
Best buds to the end



Hope you are doing well
Hope life is treating you good

Renee it's your birthday
God bless you this day
You gave me the gift of a little sister
And I love you more each day

Renee it's your birthday
Happy birthday Renee

I wish for you much peace
I wish you so much joy
I wish for you your heart's desire
And all that you enjoy

Renee it's your birthday
Happy birthday Renee

Backyard football
Is there no greater sport
No helmets
No uniforms
No pads
Just you and the Earth

Caked with dirt
Caked with mud
A few cuts here and there
That was part of the fun
Just playing
Just enjoying time together
With friends
With family
With everyone

Rain did not stop us
We kept playing
Lightning Thunder roar
The game was the thing
The fun
The joy
Slipping
Sliding
Rolling in the mud

A flury or two
We did not care
We still played
Storm warnings
What were those
We have a game to play

Backyard football
Is there no greater sport
No helmets
No uniforms
No pads
Just you and the Earth

I think therefore I am
I think
I mean I hope so
I’m sure that’s right

I am therefore I think
I think so anyway
I am what
I think
I am not sure

Am I even here
Where is here
Does it think it’s here
Am I only here because I think I’m here
What if I thought I was there
Would I still be here

Where is there
Does it still exist without me being there
Would it still be there if I stopped thinking about there
Am I there and just don’t know it
Could I be there just by thinking I was there
Where is there
Could it be here

I think therefore I am
I am therefore I think
I think I’m lost

He was the boy no one wanted
Small and afraid
No one at all to love him
Only himself to blame
What did I do
I was just born
Why do you hate me
Why all the scorn
Night after night
Day after day
In silence as he weeps
The boy no one wanted
Reaches out to thee

She was the girl that no one wanted
Small and afraid
No one to love her
What did I do
I was just born
Why do you hate me
Why all the scorn
Night after night
Day after day
In silence she weeps
The girl that no one wanted
Reaches out to thee

The unwanted exist
On the street
Dark alleys
Empty lots

The unwanted exist in big cities
As well as small town

The unwanted exist where child abuse abounds