I never told you the truth
We sit next to each other,
Words are trying to spill from my mouth.
I sip on my margarita, hoping the tequila will make the words disappear
The truth
The truth
I want to say it
You should know how I feel
You should know my thoughts, my wants, my desires
I look at you and wonder...
No, no, I tell myself
Drink, I tell myself
The tequila will make the thoughts go away
Except it doesnt
Three drinks later, 2 shots and 1 beer
I want you
I want your chocolate eyes and pink lips
I want your muscular arms and wide torso wrap in me
I want your minty taste on me
The thoughts come in waves, leaving me thirsty
So instead, I drink water
Water makes me sober and less thirsty
Water gives me some clarity
But nothing makes the thoughts stop.

There is a door I want to open...
Instead we've open the window
I told you I dnt like to start things I cant finish
The breeze through this window feels amazing
It isnt wide open but just a little crack,
Letting me feel things I havent felt in a while
Summer just started and the chills on my skin makes my hair stand
I sit and stare at this window,
Thinking if I should open it more
Or just open the door.

I dont want to bother you
But I cant stop thinking about you.

It's been four years and yet you still linger in the back of my head like a plague.
Taunting me to come back.
I've loved and lost but yet it's you.

Hiding myself is my greatest strength and my greatest weakness.

Not physically, more of a spiritual, ,emotional
Constantly wondering which feeling/thoughts is correct
Decisiveness has become my first name
Nothing in the world seems right
What do i do?

Escape
Escape
I'm always his escape
Somewhere where he finds peace and solace
Somewhere where he runs from his problems
But I've learned that
Vacations aren't forever
Eventually, you must go home