Where is more when I just want to be loved? I keep falling into situations that mean me no good. I keep looking for more but getting less. Should I continue to settle just for the warmth of a body? How can I keep doing this to myself? When will it end? Where is more when I just want to be loved? Am I not good enough to be loved the right way? Have i closed myself to the possibility of happiness? If I say I'm ready for love will it come? How can I be sure that it's right? If all I've ever gotten was less. Is it my fault? Did I do something to offset my karma? Where is more when I just want to be loved? I'm a good person hell I'm great. Why do I keep getting less? Where is my love I deserve? Maybe I don't deserve it, maybe I have to work on me and let it come. But how do I know when it's for me when I keep getting less? I hope when more comes I'm ready and willing not scared to fall, but where is more when I just want to be loved?

Look at me I'm fine! Are you fine!?! Yes, can't you see? look at me I'm fine. If you're so fine why do you feel like that on the inside? What difference does it make how I feel on then inside? look at me I'm fine. I don't want to look at this shell of a person I want to see you. If you wanted to see me you would know I was fine. I don't understand what you don't understand. Look at me I'm fine! If you're so fine why can people feel your pain through the smile? If you're so fine why can't you break through this feeling of being held back? If you're so fine why can't you get pass your own thoughts? Ok ok but look at me I'm fine! Why can't you accept the fact that I'm fine and leave it there? Because you're not fine and I refuse to allow you to tell yourself otherwise. But I'm coping so what's the problem? Aren't you tired of coping? Aren't you tired of barely living? Aren't you tired of being a shell of a person and letting people get glimpses and pieces of your spirit? No because that's what keeps me safe. Why be safe when you can live? What's life really about anyway? How do you miss something you never truly had? Because I know you can feel the desire and the fire that burns within. So what if I do? Look at me I'm fine! What do you mean so What? How can you sit and feel all the great things that you do and suppress it as if it means nothing? Because I'm lost and confused and it all means nothing right now. With that attitude it'll continue to be nothing. What do you want from me? Look at me I'm fine! I want you to live and be alive don't give me the words to pacify me. Look at me I'm fine!

When you look in the mirror who do you See? I see someone who knows better but doesn't necessarily do better. I see someone who could control other people but can't control herself. When you look in the mirror who do you See? I see someone who has been through so much pain that she can't even pinpoint where it began. I see someone who wants to be loved but doesn't know how to give it in return. When you look in the mirror who do you see? I see someone who has more potential than she allows. I see someone who could be so much better than she is. When you look in the mirror who do you See? I see someone who deserves better than she thinks she does. I see someone who could rule the world but is complacent. When you look in the mirror who do you See? I see someone that is going to soon wake up from a dream and live the reality that's deep inside of her. When you look in the mirror who do you see?

Oh hello anxiety nice of you to have joined us. Have you met anguish and anger. I know this isn't your first time here but why don't you tell us why you're here. Oh ok well anguish brings me tears and anger brings my frustration so again tell us why you're here. Oh I see well the last thing that brought me a headache or even a stomachache was stress and we got rid of him a long time ago see we definitely didn't have room for him. Before you go any further I feel you don't have much to bring to the table aside from fear, fear of the unknown and right now we don't have time for that. Right now we have real issues to deal with so if you would kindly excuse yourself. Now don't get me wrong I know this isn't going to be the last time we meet but for the sake of everything good you must leave. Until next time.

My dreams are better than reality because that's where I spend my best time with you. Where there isn't any care in the world we can be our absolute selves. I can feel you touch my spirit as our hearts beat as one. My dreams are better than reality because that's where I spend my best time with you. Two bodies become one as the juices flow and the smell of love fill the air. Our bodies explode in pure ecstasy as if you were made for me and I for you. Now don't get me wrong because this isn't what it's all about. The love I have for you and you for me is like no other so pure and so free. The yearn I have to be your wife and take care of your deepest desires, to take hold of your heart and nurture it forever. To show you everything that I see in you to build you up and put you on a pedestal where you belong. Would be no greater gift to me. My dreams are better than my reality because that's where I spend my best time with you

There's this box that holds all of my secrets, darkest thoughts, pain and any resemblance of who I once was. I don't remember where the box came from or even when it first started. I just know it's dark in there and becoming overly crowded. I threw everything in there even the things I didn't mean to. I did it to survive the worse pain even the ones I forgot about. There's now a hole in the box that seems to damage me more and more each day. Just a glimmer of hope seems to be no more. The light of a new day brings me hope but only for a minute. A minute to try to make things right but I always run out of time. I feel like my soul is being ripped from my body and I don't know where it's going. Sometimes I wish to be done, done with everything and become something new. I wish to fly as high as my wings will let me. I feel trapped in this box where there is no love. Who can love me when I don't love myself? Who can stand me when I can't stand myself? Who could understand me when I can't understand myself? So many hidden things I forgot who I was. I hid from myself so I couldn't see my truth. Its so dark that nothing else matters. The darkness is where I live because it's the only thing I know. I think I'm okay but I'm not there's so much pain that I'll crumble. Crumble at the idea of something new, crumble at the idea of who I could be. I rather not feel because there's only pain. How do I go on when I don't want to? What will I do when the box is broken for good? I'm afraid of what might be.