I feel a need to ****.
Both myself and anyone near me.
I've thought of ways to end my life.
I've methodically found ways to end the others.
So tell me am I suicidal or a ******?

I'm trying to break free,
But keep myself inside.

If I could get away,
Maybe I would find words to say.

No one ever looks deep into my eyes,
Nor do they hear my inner cries.

I feel like nothing
To everybody

Deep down
I want to answer with
“I’m not okay..
This existence is a game
That has yet to go my way.
I can’t seem to get these tears
To just decay  
I want to sleep, but I sit and think and
Then I realize it’s the next day
That one scenario I got on replay
That very day I chose to walk away
And ever since, I’ve been in dismay.”
But I answer with “I’m okay”
My feelings I shall not portray
No, no, not today.

Why live, only to die?

Why love, when alone I'll die?

Why laugh, only to watch others cry?

Why cut, when blood will dry?

I watch with bloodshot eyes,
Under moonlit skies.

I listen with cold ears,
As the end nears.

I feel only pain,
Suffering in vain.

I taste death,
On a winter's breath.

I smell sorrow,
With no hope for tomorrow.