Lately, I've been learning through reading the Bible and praying about how to rejoice through the struggles. Even as we go through these dark times, we're able to praise the Lord for what he has done for us and for His faithfulness; He promises His truths remain the same, even in the valleys of life. I am thankful for what I've gone through, and how it has allowed me to help others. It seems like every time I go through something, I have been able to talk to several other people who are going through the same thing and help them out. That gives me joy as I go through the darkness, being able to pour into others, and I rejoice in the Lord for using me as His servant and the peace He grants through the pain.

I wrote this as if I am talking to my demons, or the darkness I go through. I know that I'm haunted by these things, and Satan keeps on trying to break my spirits, because of the great things God is going to do through me. But I won't let the demons overcome me, because I know God has gotten me this far for a reason, and He is going to use me as His vessel.

I visualize my emotions as different rooms; I suppose these metaphors are a way for me to feel control over my thoughts, to give a name I can comprehend to these things I don't exactly understand. There are different mindsets I'm able to enter into, and I'm able to keep myself in that room and lock myself up in that room, whether it's good or bad. I still feel myself being drawn to that state of mind where I let my emotions overcome me and control me. I know some friends who are in the same place. I titled this "hallway", because I don't think we've exaclty reached a room where that darkness doesn't affect us. Maybe that's not a possibility, but still we prevail towards hope.

I look back, squinting into the past season of my life. How I felt so controled by those dreary walls, that vacant room. I give a long glance at the world behind me, long enough to realize how far I've come, but shortly so I won't give them the authority to drag me back.

Jeremiah 33:3 ~ Call to me and I will answer you and tell you great and unsearchable things you do not know.

It's easy for us to doubt God. It's not a sin for us to question Him at some points in our faith, but I hate to see people abandon God because they don't feel like He's answering them. Call out to God. It's okay to be angry, upset, or frustrated with Him; look at David from the Bible, and the Pslams he wrote. When we cry out to God, He will not leave us in the dark. He meets us right where we are, and He loves us enough not to leave us there.