I rode the back of his world into a
blazing temptation.  It was all I ever
wanted, to feel the explosive sparks
and hard rocking verbs shift inside of
me, to embrace each flaming minute
and bursting moans.  

His hazel eyes were reeling me in,
a sizzling spark on the tip of my tongue
calling me into his frequency, addictive
feelings and unlimited meanings,
a sleek essence of devotion speaking
to my body in the midnight harmony.

I want to feel his curly golden-brown hair  
upon me, a vibrant symphony rising beyond
universe and truth, a cosmic space of gliding
equations and elements, an essential rhythm
dissolving inside my invention.

I was crying for his soul in
the late-night rain, the
click-clacking and thumping
sounds beating inside
my heart, pounding on top of
the rooftop, taking me into
distant worlds far from
my existence.  

The winter trees were whirling
in the breeze and the leaves were
shifting sporadically in various
degrees, howling energies gone
astray, empty and sleep deprived,
as I stood by the glass window
staring outside at the fallen countryside.  

The moments before moments,
beginnings breaking down into
dysfunction, shadowed thoughts
sifting into inner realms, as
my mind lingered on the one
that I loved.

I wanted to help him along his
way, to be the guiding star
lighting up his life, give him
that rise and high flight that
would take him places beyond
his deepest dreams.  

But the more I tried to be by
his side, he pushed me away
into the horizon, further towards
blazing Mars.  And as I gazed
at the haunting skyline, forgotten
hues beneath unrhymed melodies,
I knew everything that I hoped for
was gone, lost into the lifeless seas

As I sat on the surface of the
stair steps above a horizon of
falling rain, drenched mechanics
and vanished romance, a whirling
chemistry of drowned sounds, I
was beginning to remember the
pain I inflicted upon your world,
the damaged bricks and splintered
vowels, slammed clouds and rammed
doorways, my heart was farther
apart from your kingdom.  

Deep within my veins, there was a
ravaging blazing anger boiling
inside my belly, upturned and
shipwrecked, scorned and salvage,
as I broke down the walls of
your existence.  Smashed liquor
bottles were crowding the
bedroom floor, chipped glass
beneath slit feet, black eyes
over broken nose, busted lip
sinking beyond jammed
shoulders.  

I'm so sorry my precious darling!  
I should've never hurt you in the
dark shadows.  How could I make
you pay the price for my own
shattered soul?  

I never meant to hurt you in
the blackened night and watch
the swollen trees cry in silence
outside my windowpane.  I never
should've blamed you for my own
insecurities and insinuate that you
were running around with your secret
mistresses.  

You were a golden gem and everything
within me crushed your masterpiece.
now as I sit here in solitude, the dusty
air floating in misery, the shifting sun
blinding my eyes, I want you to know
my sweet darling that I apologize for
unleashing chaos upon your light,
suffocating your existence on that
cold December night.

When the smoke clears and the
flames come to a cease, I'll
remember why I left your
crimson slashed love and
smothered everything beneath
the grave.  

There was a time when I'd do
anything for you and inhale all
of the storms that swayed your
way, taking in the anger and pain
so that my sweet love could rise
and smile, glorify all the bright
stars across the horizon,
illuminating the moon and the
supreme gods and goddesses above.  

I was your melody, the synchronized
saxophone soothing your mind,
brightening your thoughts and feelings
on a warm summer day.  I was
your peace and freedom in perfect
Paris, taking you around the world
and showing you the adventures
that you'd never seen before.  

The days when we'd walk down
the seamless cityscape, embracing
the beauty and poetry surrounding us,
the brilliant art highlighting the
landscape.  And when night came,
the gleaming sky over our blossoming
bodies, jazzy city lights shining upon
our mansion, we'd cuddle in the bed,
thin sheets draped over our sweaty skin,
reminiscing on our future dreams.  

But your love came to a frozen standpoint.  
There was leakage running rampant
in the drains, slimy salad, cole slaw,
and stale coffee rising in the dank air.  
The pungent smell was clogging
my throat and spinning every part of
my dynasty off course.

The conjunctions were colliding
into crashed consonants, jammed
prepositions and burnt gerunds,
scorched syllables suspended
in dead dimensions.  And as I
tried to reassemble the broken
pieces in the late-night hours,
I soon realized that everything
within your volcanic galaxy
was too far out of my reach,
a radioactive mountain waiting
to explode at any moment.

Why did I get written up for educating
my mind?  Why didn't they get written
up for speaking such derogatory terms
in the workplace?  Why wasn't I recognized
for my accomplishments? Why were they
recognized for achieving a dream?  Why is
the hourly pay split down the middle?
Why are these other jobs making more
money than I am?  Why am I criticized
for having a soft voice?  Why are they
glorified for the loudness in their speech?
Why are a lot of educational systems
suffering around the world?  Why are
everyone at war with each other?  
Why are the homosexuals criticized
for their sexuality?  Why is their
competition within society?  Those
were the questions that kept replaying
inside my brain, the heavy diction
rotating and accelerating towards
catastrophic depths, the crushed
confusion and mistaken philosophy,
trembling trigonometry and crashed
calculus, split conjunctions and
smashed nouns, drowned pronouns
and drifting derivatives, a breaking
integration dividing in drunken
dungeons.  I wanted to understand the
rhythm of the universe and the offbeat
double standards screaming inside
my veins, the lost language lingering
inside sleeping labyrinths, how when the
tremendous trees sway in opposite directions,
there is a shifting breeze rising in the air
towards silent dimensions, trying to
comprehend why the world is so broken
apart.

Everything inside of me was
falling into inner inkwells,
washaway worlds shifting off
the edge, an exploding tsunami
tormenting my light in the
shadows, as I tried to block out
the feelings that I had towards
you.  I thought it would be easy
if I shattered the seas of your
scarlet waves, drown the desire
and flames beyond the horizon,
chill the high climaxes to darkened
degrees, burn the steamy sensations
in a puddle of slippery tar.  All the
walls within my surface were
twisting and turning into stretched
skin, stained white dreams sinking
one behind the other, as I dragged
my useless body across the living
room floor, trying to understand
why I was trapped inside
your labyrinth of hypnotic
designs.  Your flashy style
and upbeat stance was taking
me overboard, the smell of
your alluring Versace
lingering on my flesh, chiseled
physique and ripped muscles, s
bright hazel eyes glowing with
radiance and power.  Everything
was killing me inside, every
wanting and touching that I
couldn't embrace, every kiss
that I wished was mine, every
******* in the night that
broke my heart into a thousand
smashed pieces.

You are the greatest joy and
inspiration in my life, the
spark of light that never leaves
my side, the strength and knowledge
that stays inside my soul, the
magnificent nation shining in
my view.

You are the best friend and
brother that I could ever have.
I remember how used to encourage
me to keep moving forward and
chase after my dreams.  Some days
when I was so close to letting it go,
you were the one that stayed on me
and said, You have a vision for the
world to see.  I believe in you brother
and know that you are meant for
greatness.

And as I focused on the depth of
those words, how each syllable
rose and fell inside my heart,
the deep diction illuminating
within my chamber, I knew
my best was yet to come and
that I must continue reaching
to the top.

I'm very thankful to have a
brother like you, someone that
knows how to make me smile
when I'm feeling down, someone
that keeps pushing me to stay on
my grind, someone that I'm proud
to call my family.