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Heather McCorkle Jul 2018
I was told that I have a small personality
What does that even mean?
I've been trying to figure it out
The accusation coursing through my veins while I bleed

How small exactly?
As knit as a picnic basket?
As crushable as an ant?
As microscopic as a germ that festers and grows into a size where it has symptoms but no sight?

Huh
If I am a germ that means I can start epidemics that sweep nations
Racking coughs and blood-shot eyes
Why are you acting surprised?
Don't worry, you don't realize
IF I were that small, I'd never use sickness as my disguise

I guess you assume I'm small because I'm shy
No, not shy
Reserved
I'm not scared to talk to you
I'm not scared to show my emotions
I just don't

Here you are, trying to fix me into something I'm not
When you don't even know the real me

Because if you think I'm small
You don't know me at all

My personality is BIG
I can switch from being mellow to violent as quick as a magic trick
And by violent I don't mean I'll cover someone with scratches
I mean vibrant and burning - here I am with the matches

Colours
So many colours
Soft yellow and grass green
Amber, scarlet, indigo, violet
My world is encircled by rainbows

Noise
My volume has the widest range - it's my choice
when I decide to speak softly
But I can yell
And I yell proudly

Please don't tell me I'm small
Please don't try to fit me in a box
There's nothing wrong with being reserved
Unless you lack passion which allows you to jump

To fly, actually
I've seen every corner of the sky
Have you?
I don't think so
I don't mean to be cocky
But I'd rather my personality be rocky
Than put on a front where I laugh and smile and scream
I'll let my heart speak when it wants to
Don't mock me

So no
My personality is not small
Not at all

I'm like a flower
A bud
In a sun kissed room
Just give me water
And I'm going to bloom
#bloom #reserved
Heather McCorkle Jul 2018
Today you said "How are you?"
You've never done that before
It startled me
Like a riveting storm when the weatherman prophesied clear skies

Today you looked me in my eyes
You've never done that before
It surprised me
Seeing the waves of amber and brown leather as if they were somehow tangling with the brown hues of my own

All of this matters
It's never mattered before
  Jul 2018 Heather McCorkle
Yitkbel
The wild grass lives only for your sight

For your unreserved love and care

For the shadows in your every step

For the light in the black of your eyes


The ripples in the lake live only for your dreams

Your life tumultuous and bare

For the wrinkles in your soul

And the weariness in your countenance


The old dog at the old place live only for your loneliness

For your tears

For your cry in the silence

As it licks away the bitterness in your existence


Yet, you love not them-

They are always there,

Simple, undecorated,

Pebbles to the gold-

But wilder, greater aspirations


With the mountains in your eyes,

You won’t see the dandelions

Will they still be there

Without your sunshine, earth and rain

That showed me my place

And taught me what it is to be alive


With the waves in your eyes

You won’t see the ripples of a single stone

Will they still be there

The seedlings growing within

The fish swimming in between

That showed me I was not empty

As you lit up the world within me


With every being in your eyes

You won’t see the old dog howling in pain

Will it still be there

The life within its loyal eyes

The laughter running free and wild

The shelter, The love, and every breath

That showed me my purpose of being

As you led me down the path I’d never stray


You will not know

You will not see


Yet, I’m certain

When you return

Danced your dance

And weary of pleasing those that will love you

Your beauty, timely, sparingly, and conditionally


They will still be there

Waiting for your return


For, even when you were chasing everything

Because you thought that they had nothing

You were, are, and will always be

Their everything.
(You wouldn’t chase something that would never let you go.)

(So don't worry about something you can never lose)
Forget me when you're happy.
And I will always be there whenever you need.
Heather McCorkle Jul 2018
Before, every object had a word
Every action had a verb
I could see it printed in my head like the dots on a crinkled newspaper

The sky wasn't just a sky
It was a robin's egg blue canvas painted on with wisps and spirals and flecks of the most vibrant white
Expanding, curving, fluctuating into a sphere that covered the earth

The ground wasn't just a ground
It was emerald green whistles, strands bending in the air, speckled with white and dotted with lavender
Floating and coursing with the wind

This was before
This was when someone said something I'd see the words, ",he declared"
This was when someone looked annoyed, I'd peg, "He raised his eyebrows"
This was before
When I had words
Every word was a colour
It would ache if the colour wasn't the right hue
And refresh if it was
Now, all I see is reality
And it turns out it's all in black and white
Heather McCorkle Jul 2018
Dreams are burdens, and blessings
They make you independent and yet they'll never come true unless you're dependent
They look like cotton candy and yet that's only on the surface
In reality, they'll floating air that's somehow become attached to ice and dirt

Dreams are songs and silence
The notes are vibrant and hopeful until you realize it's all in your head
And the atmosphere around your mouth is void of any melody

Dreams make you alive and yet they keep you awake
Holograms of what could be while you're trying to sleep
Dreams never let go, and yet at the same time they're a million miles away

Dreams are glasses and a blackout
They give you vision until you wonder if the lights are on at all
Discouragement turns the light into a tiny flicker

Dreams are burdens, and blessings
And yet, life without dreams is no life at all
Heather McCorkle Jun 2018
These are the things I'd write you if I could
I'm sorry
I'm sorry
I know you've forgotten the mist
The wisp of blown off soup that was poorly crafted
The onion is too strong
The spices tantalizing
Moments never spent with you
I never meant to ignore you
It just happened
Two minutes
That's how long the longest conversation we ever had lasted
You laughed
I will never forget the sound of your laugh
What have you done with our two minutes?
Have you tucked it under your pillow?
Folded it up in your pocket?
Stitched it in the fabric of the sky
So that when the stars twinkle you remember the sound of my laugh
My stupid, pathetic laugh
I drank too quickly
I slurped from my spoon
I longed too much
I know
I know
You've thrown away the two minutes
Because they don't mean anything to you
Because you've grown numb to me
And your laugh is hollow now
I hope you can forgive me
I hope I can forgive myself
I see you sneak away into the next room to eat by yourself
You don't even ask how I am anymore
What would my answer be?
What do you think
Slowly cooling and trying not to lock away those two minutes that I know I will always remember
They will always haunt me
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