They didn't pull the trigger
They loaded the gun
They didn't make the cuts
They sharpened the knife

They didn't shout for it to stop
They stood and watched
They didn't try to intervene
They didn't call for help

They didn't stand in opposition
They sat idly by
They didn't speak against
They pretended not to see

They didn't tighten the noose
They provided the rope
They didn't throw the punches
They built the ring

They didn't pull the trigger
They are guilty as sin

Denied a path to express my love
I used to hate to say that word, love
Not allowed to really feel the love
Loved to fantasize about love, love

I have so much love left to give
So much pain left to give
I have so much love left to give
So much pain left to live


Empty heart and soul inside my shell
Always tried to refill from your well
My bucket leaked and had an odd smell
Smelled that bucket as I fell to hell

I have so much love left to give
So much pain left to give
I have so much love left to give
So much pain left to live


Feet neck and hands bound in all your chain
Eternal loss like Abel to Cain
Not all of loving you was in vain
All in all it ends in endless pain

I have so much love left to give
So much pain left to give
I have so much love left to give
So much pain left to live
I have so much love left to give
So much pain left to give
I have so much love left to give
So much pain left to live

I put my hand in your hand and I follow
You lead the way
I put my trust in your heart and I follow
You lead the way
I put my faith in your beliefs and I follow
You lead the way
But what happens someday if
You fade away

I put my arms around you and I hold you
You lead the way
I put my secrets inside your mind
You lead the way
I put my soul in your house of comfort
You lead the way
But what happens someday if
You fade away

I put my life in your hands and I followed
Where'd we go astray
I put my future in your hands and followed
Where'd we go astray
I put my end in your hands and followed
Where we go astray
But in the end I found out
We faded away

I am walking down a road full of crunchy shards of glass. My feet bleed, but I cannot feel. I long to feel. I long to sleep. I long to feel the relief of sleep. I walk. I will find a destination. I will be nearly dead when I get there. The destination. Bleeding is so soft. Bleeding is a cushion. Cushions do not relieve the pain. Pain is my God, the one True God, the God that knows we are there. The one God we know.

I long to swim in cold water. Water is me, I am water. The water is made of my tears, and my tears regenerate the water. I wish I could swim right now, but the world won't let me. I have the fins, the mask, and snorkel, but I'm not allowed to swim. Swimming is life, but I am not allowed. I long to swim in cold water. I long for cold. I long for life.

The bleeding insists that I continue. The swimming insists that I try. The noise of the splash insists that I cannot deny that I'm trying..... to live. The vacation of the air I crave. The culmination of the road I pave, it's warm. It's all the way it 'sposed to be ya know. And in the end it's all a lie. Why even try? So much ******* work, just to get by.

Living.