I remember you
Do you remember me
We were just together
But we shouldn't be
Then you sat me down
And you touched my hand
Then you sat me down
And I turned around
And my heart did leap
The words were shy
Then you sat me down
I began to cry
In a silent place
We then embraced
Then I turned around
And I found your knee
And what was forbidden
Had to be.
I remember you
Do you remember me.


Love Mary **

Throwing my coat across the classroom
An impulse brought on by over enthusiasm
for an idea.
Landing on the teacher's desk
I still had no fear.
It was then I realised that
People were powerless.
Now at sixty five and infirm
I realise just how much.

Love Mary **

Summer meadow you are calling me
The red poppies standing as swaying trees
Heads of corn tall in the light
My dress shimmering white
I have the picture in my head
Also in my album bed
For this day of moment's power
Etched upon a life-time's file
In the shade you came to me
Held me up so I could see
The love you had and let it be
In the meadow wild and free.



For my Roger and a wonderful day we spent in Essex.in 1968/9

Tiny, so small,
Not really there at all,
Arrived in the night,
To all our delight,
Came the morning light,
The sound of the birds,
The sun over the horizon,
Your first words;
And from your cradle,
I lifted you,
Only a handful,
My eyes full of dew,
That little cry,
Lifted my heart!
Us two together,
Never to be apart.

For my children, Katharine ,Alexander, Victoria and Elizabeth Kearns

So many ways of writing.

He read me a page from his diary,
Stating his comings and goings,
The movement of the moon as
It disappeared at dawn break,
With wind direction, north westerly,
The days shopping list of groceries,
His meals and walks in the park,
The washing and cooking;
And succinct statements about
Mary's health.
At the end I thought how beautiful
Writing with so little but saying
So much more.

For my Roger
Love Mary xxxx

He puts out his tiny hand
To hold my finger
In its red glove
And his mouth curves
Into a smile.

Such a welcome
For an elderly me
I want to grasp his soul
Be part of those first steps
Taste his world.

A splendid moment
For us all three
My daughter
And her third son
A blonde wistful child
Full of poetry.

Love Grandma **

I had no valentines card
To give you
So I made you one
From an Ann Cockerill
Advertisement painting
Of a *** of Spring flowers
And wrote on it
In my poor hand
Love you

Pinky Woo **

The River Boy.

He fell in the river that child of mine,
On the edge was perched steady and fine,
Feeding the ducks bread from his hand,
When suddenly, splash,his feet lost land;
For a second we stared at the swirling spot,
Then instinct took over I grabbed the lot,
Out came a boy as wet as could be ,
Wrapped him in cardigans, then home for tea.

Alex fell in the River Thames at Staines when he was about 6-8 years old? Do you remember son? Love Mum **

I think of this bench
In the shade of two small trees,
Surrounded by roses,
And in Winter their thorns
Spike the damp earth.

How will it be years hence,
When children sit
And women knit,
Some at lunch, finding
Peace looking at the sky.

I put it there for you and you and you
So that its comforting presence
Is a reminder of our days
And your tomorrows
In this garden I loved.

Love Mary xxxx

And there it was at the top of her heart
Filling all the chambers where she lived
Those days in the war when emptiness
Called everyday reminding the beating
That it had nothing to do but to wait.

And it never came that  peacefulness
Carried in the pocket of her dress
With the flower stem of lavender
And a peach stone of foreign hope
That just soon the sun would open.

Love Mary ***

I will not know you little child
Or see your shining eyes
Look up at me.
Never trace that tiny face
And hold you upon my knee.

It is a sadness I must bear
But bear it tenderly
With a love that knows
No infinity or finality.


To Victoria and Pieter for their baby
Love Mum ***

The tree stood in its shadow
Branches leaning slightly left
Surrounding field stretching
Green acres  of sun bright
Shapes against a cloudy blue.

Stone dry wall built to last
Marks out the foreground
Of sparkling citrus breath
Emptying of all bird sound
To the movement of a lens.

Love Mary ***

Bronze through Autumn
Light strings across path
Leaf as nugget on branch
And me running to meet
The boy of my dreams
Through shadowed steps.

Love Mary **

The green dress is the nearest I got
To writing a poem about sensuality
It rests in an envelope hidden
when I wore this mid-calf dress
The palest and subtlest of greens
I was aware how every seam caressed
Each pocket beckoned fingertips
The front opening's catching edges.


As I walked along the Mall
Breathing in perfumed air
Spilling out from breast and hip
Captivated by the openness of stride
I noticed people were looking
What was it that I communicated?
It was just an ordinary dress
In the palest and subtlest of greens.


I still have the dress somewhere.

Love Mary

It may not be the best,
Or even have decent,
I have no card to give you,
Will last year's do?
The soap in the bathroom
I have replaced,
So now you can wash
Your dear hands and face;
The Jaffa cakes could have hearts on,
As they were bought with love,
So have a Happy Valentine's Day
My one and only Rog.


From Mary to Roger  **

How to get there, that place of pity
Where others really mean theirs
Instead of fumbling like a demon
On stain glass and missing the boat.

Hope fell out the window of waste
Those who are fortunate can scream
But the rest stripped naked near die
Empathy is an old fashioned word.

Love Mary **

I hope you understand
I know that not be easy
Short we are on intuition
As canker binds the vein.

Withered soul outpouring
The tempest grass flowing
I hope you understand me
Sad it be if not.

Love Mary ***

I have to be brave enough
Not to mind being forgotten
For most days.
To no longer be a card on a shelf
Or a phone call away
Letting others' days
Be their own
Unhindered by sorrows
Or sad memories
Or burdened by my wanting
To be carried around
Like a honoured trophy.
This has to be my last gift
A real gift of love
Which says be free
Of me and all that I was
Because your days
Are another time
And have their splendour.
Goodnight my dearest
Children, goodnight.


Love Mum, Mary

Whilst away for a few days
He bought a book
Was thinking she might like it,
And on the Tuesday as welcoming
Her in, he handed it to her
And so in his heart it begins.
She did not know
He loved her in this way
Until oneday
Their hands touched
So gently at a goodbye,
The streets were dark
Her car parked,
But slowly after
Many months
Of watching
The slowness went
And they said 'Hello'
Properly
To let each other
Know.

Love Mary **

Daisy Mau is up and down
In and out and round and round
Beautiful as a red- lipped child
Brown eyes under a feathered brow.

A humour that is humankind
A heart of passion and fur- lined
Wanders through a poppy field
Crimson sadness at her heels.

Sensitive to all her days
Cradles honour on the way
Daisy May your sun shines bright
Treasure it and hold on tight.

Love will find you,  no need to seek
The world will open, and not be bleak
Hand in hand the years that pass
Will lead you on to touch the stars.

Stay awhile and sit by me
My darling Daisy you'll always be.

Love Grandma x

Where is truth, does it exist anywhere?
This is what it is, broken strength.
Lonely, I hear you crying in the hall
Why?, you said,
And a box and a pair of shoes
Were delivered.

Love Mary xxxx

Kisses weren't apples
But the feel of liquid
Holding on to time
Stretching out desire
To the end of completeness.

Love Mary

Welham Road, Streatham.

Brown Clarks shoes all new,
Taking me back and forth to school,
In the rain and in the sun,
Skipping, dancing going for a run;
Under my bed they slept at night,
Polished and bright at morning light,
Was it the fairies that kept them clean,
Or mother's hand,
Spreading the cleaming sheen.

Love Mary **
Thank you Mum and Dad for keeping my feet straight and dry.

Mary Rose I loved you
Such a magical shop
Up the stairs of wonder
Residing at the top.

Love Mary x

Claim that place that we shared
Heap your heart with our days
Sit patiently on that seat of yours
Where the yellow roses flower.

Each morning dip your fingers
In the books of love and live
You are my dearest daughter
Who glad I was that she came.

Love Mummy xxxxx

The stillness
After the cat had gone
The house seemed empty,
Devoid of soft patter;
Downstairs,
The shaking of biscuits on tin- foil
And the long slow meow
Of a morning yawn.
The warm spot in the garden
Now an obvious space,
Plantless from years of basking.
Only the birds seemed grateful
Peace had returned to their world,
No more feathered grassways
To clear.
We buried you in front of the fir tree,
You were part of eighteen Christmases
Our very dear black and white cat.

Love the kearns family

Oscar, so it's  Summer,
School ends for lost boys
And errant masters, alike,
Skipping out the doors
Books still in cupboards left
Football shed untidy
With lost socks
And punctured *****
Old paintings
Cling to the walls
Flapping blue-tac ends in
Open window jam wind.

So what will you do
In the holiday, grandson?
Write me a poem
Of your own growing
Make it strong so it belongs
To tradition, whatever that
Means from your perspective.



Look forward to it ,Oscar
Love Grandma
Second version .

love Mary

Looking down into silence
Where there is no return
Remembering sensations
loved and affirmed
The hundreds of hours
I stayed by you side
Resting my head
Where you abide.

Take me with breaking day
In a casket of green
A single pink spray
With leaves to be seen
Choose early Spring bulbs
And your checked shirt
Then whistle a tune
Try not to be hurt.


To Roger love Mary
Sorry I had to go .***

Evelyn and Mary and Janet,
Florence and Anna and Grace,
We're six little girls,
Inhabiting a different space:-
Evelyn born in London,
In 2014,
Mary south of the river in 1952,
Janet came from America, Florence
Somewhere in Stroud,
Anna rather special,
And Grace an eldest child.

To be continued .

Love Mary ***

The sea a sheet of molten gold,
Shimmering under a fiery sky,
The beach was deserted,
Sailing craft secured against the night tide,
Carefully built sandcastles awaited their obliteration,
A few seagulls picked over picnic wrappings,
I stood, alone, as the the sun dropped below,
Allowing the darkness over the horizen,
It was the end of another wonderful day,
And I felt full of gratitude for the chance of being born.

Love Mary **

Running outstretched to meet the birds
As they took flight at the field’s edge
Faces brimmed over with bright light
Pink boots left the ground, jumping
And hearts filled with the watching.

Love Maryxxx

When in my thirties whist reading philosophy books
Had this big discussion I called non- space,
In a pub in London with Ian  Pinda and a few
Family  members I'm  not sure who.

Talked about existence and how to escape
Into this place we called non-space
Alex jumped their first with his yellow book
Many years later he finally understood.

Lizzie did it her way with a humour at hand
Made the people laugh, sometimes quite outland
Katie stayed at home against all the norms
Found her own non- space in the palm of her hand.

Vicky went out gliding she  took the slippery slopes
She ended up in Watford with Thyme and a rope
To all those who try reach out for the sky
Find places hidden from other bidder's eyes.

I say well done to you the effort was worthwhile
Don't dig ditches in other peoples styles.


Love to my creative family from Mother Mary ,Grandma ***

The tide came in and beached our feet
Surrounded then with sharps and stones
Our clothing wetted and sand filled
Long plaits dipped in the salty green.

The sea swishes and swirles its bubbles
Deep orche the slippery seaweed floats
Waves luxurious wigglets top the depth
Watch we did in awe and felt the swell.

Love Mary ***

In the bottom of the wardrobe
A pair of white patent shoes
With a gold buckle, glued,
You loved my shoes
Wedding shoes
In the bottom of a wardrobe
Made for two.

Our wedding day guest room
Small and neat
An almost empty wardrobe for
People to rent,
Ours was filled with one hanging shirt
A wedding day suit
And a plastic belt.

We slept in a bed
Which smelt of sea air
At breakfast we sat near
A gun man's chair
Eating fried eggs and soaky bread,
Then off to the beach
Streets ahead.


Getting sunburnt
All over our backs
Time to make, homeward tracks,
Out of the wardrobe came my shoes
Still as shiny, almost brand new
Put them on with a clackerty clack
Held you hand all the way back.

To Roger love Mary xxc

It had not been easy
The storms were blowing
I turned in bed gently
Hoping not to be dead.

Stages of terror crossed
The heathland; I came
And sat beside your head
You tried to give me strength.

We flew up to the mountains
Two birds with golden wings
And hid our heads in the foliage
Of darkness without sin.

Love Mary **

I remember all those places
Where I felt you loved me
Sometimes quietly with
Insignificance
As an ordinary day began
At the beginning of spring.

I remember my passion for you
And how you loved it
Over and over again
Joining our sweet bodies
United in our bed
And the after sleep of cats.

I remember your reading to me
In soft tones the story I loved
Sitting closeness in the heart
Feeling your hair on my face
Watching the pages turn
Always an unfolding touch.

I remember you loving me
The way I wanted to be loved
In all the places that I needed
With every part of your being
This was a great love
Never taken for granted.

Love Mary ***

Please forgive me for leaving
It was not meant to be
I really did not want to
Had so much more to do
All the people I learnt from
Those that I loved
I'm sorry I had no choice.

Love Mary ***

The tears of the world are a constant quality .Samual Beckett.
Talking of his mother he said.I am what her savâge loving has made me.


Love Mary

Evelyn has got new shoes
Does not know what to do
Do not feel like her socks
So Evelyn took them off.


Mary x



Happy 1st  Birthday Darling
Granddaughter, big hug and kiss
Love Grandma x

‘ Lies in white Coates ‘

Love Mary x

The sprouts got pushed to the corner
Hidden under knife and folk
The roast beef in a paper napkin
To the bin I slide
Ate all the carrots, the potatoes
And Yorkshire pud
And the pudding was scrumptious
Just the way it should.
Christmas blessings
To all who do not
Have much to eat
This difficult year.

Love Mary **

Along the platform to the far end
And one reaches the reading room;
Edged out in reminders of picture rails,
Any painting long been discarded
For fear of theft or vandalism;
So here in the, cell like, tar- macadam floor,
Bracketed struts of green wood
Supporting any takers,
Most simply shelter from the rain,
Cloistered behind newspapers.

Occasionally, a singular type,
Drops the day's gaze for the page in a book,
Forgetting the sounding of train times -
Departures and arrivals;
At least there is 'no-smoking'
And the area kept clear of *****,
Makes this place usually locked,
Apart from inconvenient times,
When resting would not be beneficial.

The windows drip a grey sludge,
But if you drift off
All this is side stepped for the beauty of the page,
The running with the wind on the
Train stop.

Love Mary ***

My Daisy

From a tiny ball,
I always felt you weep,
Silently,
Whilst your heart broke,
Clutching disappointment,
In your small hands,
Spreading out the jewels,
Of your wonderful tears,
And never letting go.

Love Grandma ***

"It is time to go to bed my dear".
I turn towards him in my
Plain cotton nightdress.
"Shall I comb your hair
My love, it is all batterered
From the day's excursions."
I feel the comb gentle in
His hands, his warm
Breathing on my face.
That tender touch
Before nightfall.
A connection of body
And soul. Stilled together.
Enfolded in a simple task.
The tidying of a fringe.

Love Mary ***

The little girl who opened
The world of clinking shells.

Love Grandma ***

Malisa lived in a one room flat
In a tower block
Two beds and a mat
This was a truant day
Later the school board
Man showed my forged
Letter.

Love Mary

Oka .

Little black baby ,
Your hair tightly curled
Came with you parents,
To inhabit new world,
The streets of Streatham,
A London suburb,
Became your place
of residence,
For a time you dwelled.

Oka , you were beautiful,
In your nylon frock,
Ribbons in your hair,
Brightly coloured socks,
Your name means Cherry Blossom,
In English and Japanese,
But you came from Jamaica,
With the banana trees.

Your mother had to work,
So left you with a friend,
She looked after you
From eight till ten.
I would play with you,
Tickle your toes,
Give you a bottle,
Loved you lots I know.
Your parents returned,
To their land of sun,
We all missed you,
The sixties had begun.

Two years later,
Your parents returned,
They'd had another baby,
A pretty little girl.
But no Oka,
You'd died whilst away,
My friend was at work,
So the new baby could not stay,
Felt your loss for many a year,
Your parents disappeared,
We all missed you,
Our beautiful, Oka, girl.

In memory of Oka a sweet little black baby,
Born at the beginning of the sixties
And died before she was two.

Love Mary **

We had a  game on a train
Two stops far enough apart
For art .

Love Mary ***

You float across me
As evidence that you are not mad
Hating the dependence bar where you eat
I am not that spider you nurture
Just a plate of cold ironies.


Outside the running fakes you
Into a daily ritual of bliss
I lie flattened, blind, deceived
The buttress of my heart stapled
You float across me.

Love Mary x

Let me go back to the then
While what is still fresh
And this year's Spring bulbs
Hold so much of trust.

For now there will not be
Celebration in a vase
Where stalks float in water
And a ribbon is tied.

Of a card carefully arranged
And a kind thought bought
Never again will this be
True of you or me.

Love Mary x