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Mary Gay Kearns Aug 2020
What is our innocence,
what is our guilt? All are
naked, none is safe. And whence
is courage: the unanswered question,
the resolute doubt, —
dumbly calling, deafly listening—that
in misfortune, even death,
encourage others
and in its defeat, stirs
the soul to be strong? He
sees deep and is glad, who
accedes to mortality
and in his imprisonment rises
upon himself as
the sea in a chasm, struggling to be
free and unable to be,
in its surrendering
finds its continuing.
So he who strongly feels,
behaves. The very bird,
grown taller as he sings, steels
his form straight up. Though he is captive,
his mighty singing
says, satisfaction is a lowly
thing, how pure a thing is joy.
This is mortality,
this is eternity.

Marianne Moore
I love this poem and poet .uses geometrical categories
97 · Feb 2018
Hoppedy
Mary Gay Kearns Feb 2018
It was not to be Hoppedy!

I never made it past the shed ends,
Back to back at sixty five,
The gates for the everlasting
Had been closed down early,
When it came, to my days ride.

Shame as I turned that corner
Making  a maturing point,
Realising what life wasn't
Opening the seeds of delight.
But it was not to be Hoppedy!

Love Mary ***
97 · Jun 2018
Falstaff .
Mary Gay Kearns Jun 2018
At some point
One realises
It has always been
About someone else.


Love Shakespeare
97 · Mar 2018
Love
Mary Gay Kearns Mar 2018
There is love
Then there is great love
One may only every know
That there is one kind.



Love Mary **
97 · Feb 2018
Met in the Middle.
Mary Gay Kearns Feb 2018
I tried to give you my beauty
Learnt at my mother's knee
Of Wordsworth and the grasses
The hilltops and the trees
I had a little garden
And hours of golden fun
Hands brown with sunshine
Our laughter could be sung.
Underneath an open window
A little girl swings
Swaying her new dolly
While the blackbird sings.
Pictures of moments
Are all that I am
I give you my beauty
I lay it in your hand.
I know I am not you,
Wanderer of the stars
You beauty is of a different kind
But the choices we made are ours,
Underneath the heavens
Looking at the sky
We met in the middle
And beauty was not shy.


For my Loving Roger from Mary ***
97 · Aug 2018
Secrets
Mary Gay Kearns Aug 2018
A bird, not heard, flying high, some sky
Over meadow, above sea, see snow, landfill
So flap the palest of wing up lifted it sings
His secret only known is carried into flow.

Love Mary ***
Mary Gay Kearns Jun 2018
Here comes Margaret, it is nearly four
Takes her all day, to get out of doors
Makes it to the park
A few hundred yards
And back again, slowly, within the hour.

As she returns, Roger sets off
Carrying a note book
And wearing a cagoule mac
A five mile walk, twice a day
And factual writing recording his stay.

Wind direction, southerly, position of the sun
Underfoot weather conditions
A man on the run
Ducks on the pond, birds in the trees
How wonderful it is and all free.


Mary has a black car and rarely walks
Since losing her husband she rarely talks
The pavements are a sadness
Carrying memories of happy times
Walking together on Sunday afternoons.


Pat, goes gently, her knees are bad
Many operations has got her this far
Stoic disposition she loves the flowers
Looks at the gardens for many an hour.

Walkers of the roadway, kindly, unite
Giving to each other love and insight.


Love Mary x
Mary Gay Kearns Feb 2018
Sorry for the inconvenience
Forgive the trouble
Tried all sorts
To do my best
Watch me flickering
As I say goodbye
You were the best lights
I could ever buy.

Love Mum ***
97 · Feb 2018
Retrousse .
Mary Gay Kearns Feb 2018
We define people by their shape,
How they sit upon a chair
Twist as they turn to go
Open a door
Place one foot before the other
Cross over legs
Slouch or sleep.
These idiosyncratic behaviours
Are the way we fall in love
Remembering an ear or nape of neck.
My mother was a number eight
Softly outlined with loose curls
And a retrousse' nose.
Shape is how I came to Art
Moved by a silhouette
Roundness of heads
The downturned oval
Elongated by position.
Art is shape in love.

Love Mary ***
97 · Aug 2020
Written before
Mary Gay Kearns Aug 2020
So many times
I repeated the space
Transversing the content
With my thoughts
They never got fully digested.

I would wake, acknowledge another day
Face it diffferently but the same
Inbetween the bird  would sing
The day advance into Autumn.
The year begin to creep to its end.

Love Mary **
Love Mary **
Mary Gay Kearns Mar 2018
Changes the way I think of you;
It means you go beyond
To another plane
Where the heart of another resides
In its separateness
And enter.
Fearing not the disruption
Or consequence upon you;
Opening your fortifications
The historical bindings
To embrace a colour
Never mixed before
And spreading it
As a blanket on the ground
For us both to sit upon.

Love Mary **
Lots of love Mary ***
96 · Jul 2019
Fooling
Mary Gay Kearns Jul 2019
Fooling about on a rattlesnake
The sand slipped quickly by
Nobody noticed the cliff face
Only the boy and I
With rings on our fingers
Wherever we Stroud.

Me and the jam and dodger
Were never really aloud.

Love Mary xxxxx
96 · Feb 2018
By the wall
Mary Gay Kearns Feb 2018
By the wall sat I
Dressed spread out
Tear in eye
On my knee a baby boy
Borrowed bundle
Of treasured joy.

Love Mum

Thank you to Pam for sharing her first baby
With a young girl.
96 · Jun 2018
Now I know .
Mary Gay Kearns Jun 2018
I use to feel love would never die
That people were kind and never lied
Things always got better if you tried
And goodness lay at the heart of the
World.
But
Now I know
Love only sustains so much
And lies a commonplace touch
Trying only works for an army
Whilst evil fills many souls
Now I know.

Love Mary x
Mary Gay Kearns May 2019
It was mother's future that drawer of mine
She'd waited to collect it for a long time
Only one daughter , just engaged
So now was the chance to exchange.

Friday was a new plate for china set
A misty blue, with grey flowers etched
Each wrapped in tissue white
And tied with a ribbon stripe.

But today meals are eaten out or on ones knee
Or thereabouts
The table rarely laid with clothe and bowl
Finger dipping is the rule.

To this drawer I would inspect
Heaving the mounting treasures out
A tablecloth and kitchen box
Cutlery with rose embossed.

Love Mary
95 · Jan 2018
Jay
Mary Gay Kearns Jan 2018
Jay
Jay is a handsome boy
With long dark curls
Reaching below his shoulders
Reminders of my other lads
His uncle Alex and brother Richard.
Grown in stature and understanding
Smart in striped shirt
Sitting in the sun
Under the Robina tree
I thought how far he has come.

Not my son but my daughter's
Unspoken hero of his age
Worked with seven other
Offspring to bring about
Some sort of change.
Made it to university
Computers he did choose
Compelled by an inner calling
Found a way
He is no fool.
Love you grandson
In the morning of your life
Hope you keep
That spark alive
And I will continue to be glad.

Love to Jay from Grandma ***
95 · Jan 2018
The artist and the model.
Mary Gay Kearns Jan 2018
When I draw you I create both of us anew,
Your form fills my eyes and I am moved,
I take from you myself, and all my idiosyncrasies.
You are my voice calling its name,
I try to find what is beauty,
Through line and mark and scale,
I give this back to you as Love,
A drawing on a page.

Love Mary
95 · Feb 2018
Tomorrow
Mary Gay Kearns Feb 2018
Tomorrow is a special day
When from babyhood turns away
Little feet , inquisitive hands
A little girl in a new land.


Happy first birthday
To a dear granddaughter ,
Evelyn love Grandma **
95 · Feb 2018
Goodness
Mary Gay Kearns Feb 2018
Goodness is given in many ways
It could be a bunch of flowers
Or a telephone call.
Sometimes a text,
A trip down the shops
Remembering to remember
Something you once forgot.

For my daughter ,Elizabeth
It is a photo everyday
Of Bluebell her baby
In pretty display
She knows I love babies
Have since a child
This is her love
Given with a smile

Katie makes me dinner
Of rice and veg
Cooked on a Friday
In a big stainless dish
I keep it in the fridge
To eat day by day
Lovely daughter
Bless you always.

Alex and Victoria
Both have their plans
To get me Spring bulbs
And little animals grand
To decorate a garden
Designed by their mum
As for Rog a card will do
And the fact that he is here
Loving me still.


Love Mary
27/02/2018
95 · Jun 2018
Sometimes
Mary Gay Kearns Jun 2018
Sometimes out of the throbbing chaos
A voice speaks with compassion
And for a short while
One is lifted
Above the clouds
To where the blue
Is crystal clear
And the sun
A circle
Of returning
Appreciation.

Love Mary x
Alternative ending,  optimism .

Love Mary
Mary Gay Kearns Feb 2018
There is a place I'd rather be
Where the world is clear to see
No direction, cannot breathe
Only saints are trouble free
How to wait, patiently,
For the time set down for me
Travelled all familiar roads
Came to a halt, no longer bold
All that is and all that was
Is what I gave and what I lost
For my life I say but little
I loved it so and want to get better.

Love Mary **
94 · Feb 2018
Blank page
Mary Gay Kearns Feb 2018
Love filling a blank page
What it says at the end of its days
Is what two people made of it.

Love Mary x
94 · Jun 2018
Unfortunately
Mary Gay Kearns Jun 2018
Speech came easily that day
The day before it happened
Gaiety lay on his shoulder
Shimmering September sun
They had hoped she would
But neither mentioned
So he never definitely knew
And never would
For he drowned
****** under by
Dangerous currents
Just off coast
After attending
A friend’s funeral.
Beatrice is now
Twenty or more
She can but dream
Of the father
She never met.

Love Mary
For Tom and Beatrice ***
Mary Gay Kearns Jun 2018
When the truth is withheld
The world feels cold
Frostbite in the soul
Tiredness old.


Love Mary
94 · Jul 2020
July
Mary Gay Kearns Jul 2020
Now we find
The garden
Sweet with lavender,
The roses giving out
Their perfume,
Still air after the storm;
Scorched pavements
From sun's shining;
Hollyhock coloured stripes
Horizontal laddered stems;
Quietness in the afternoon hour
Before the coming home
Begins.

Love Mary ***
94 · Jan 2018
First draft
Mary Gay Kearns Jan 2018
It was a yellow background,
The sort of yellow that lets the light in,
Here and there were brown rubbings from furniture,
But the overall pattern of black arabesque stalks and couplets of flowers;
A spiky pattern , rather,
Not quite nice in some way.
I expect the rolls had been a reduction at sale time,
Those January trips with dad in the rain,
Arms laden and collars tightly round faces.

I would sit by the fire tracing the design,
Making up stories in the landscape;
That yellow wallpaper was my childhood,
My father's love, my mother's comforter,
I am sitting by it now just remembering.

Love Mary **
94 · Mar 2020
Holding on
Mary Gay Kearns Mar 2020
We are holding on
On thé edge of time
Looking out
Crying out loud
Is this the beginning
Or is it the end
Life as we knew it
Folded down.
Love Mary
94 · Jun 2019
Pink shirt.
Mary Gay Kearns Jun 2019
Startling though love is
Coming in the back door
When we know so little
Tied our hands together
On a pink collared shirt
Round a neck went arms
To take that first sweet kiss.

Love Mary
94 · Apr 2018
From Tennison's monument.
Mary Gay Kearns Apr 2018
Looking down from such rare and breaking site
To watch transparent wings flap the velvet sea
Ounces of oceans drained from chalky white cliffs
Where grasses took root and flowers windy peep
Peering  between yellow gorse on Tennison's Downs
We children, ran parted the *****, daring the edge
To be found, and there stood toes rolled gripping
Where grass meets air, the sparkling waters
And sailing ships, tugged the sea in mystery.

Love Mary **
IOW Tennison's Monument looking towards France .

On a bright day in the 1960,s
94 · Feb 2018
Magic to the world
Mary Gay Kearns Feb 2018
A fairy in a dress of snow waves to the plastic butterfly,
A six pointed star watches as the painted bird sleeps
And ceramic leaves make circles in the wind.

Mr spaceman , all in red, nods to the dinosaur and says,
" If it weren't for you I'd never have seen the globe of blue",
The boy on the backyard fence cries,
And the Christmas doll lets down her hair
For the very first time.

Love Mary **
Inspired by items in my garden
94 · Feb 2018
Maybe
Mary Gay Kearns Feb 2018
Maybe in the fields where the mice run free
And the flower stems reach two feet high
Where the air circulates in the sky
And the soil is devoid of pollution
Only here is there a chance
Of  miracles.


Love Mary **
94 · Aug 2018
Shimmering
Mary Gay Kearns Aug 2018
No trespassing, the sorrows are mine
The seeing were blinkered and blind
It’s permanent, an indelibility, by star
Shimmering in the blackness of right.


Goodnight my loved ones.
Mary ***
93 · Mar 2018
Up the lane
Mary Gay Kearns Mar 2018
Oh to trudge up the lane
In the heat of the sun
Keeping to the near side edge
To face on coming cars
I would the wildest flowers, pick,
Hold them in my hand
Wrap around a handkerchief
With an embroidered band.

As the upward ***** straightened
A bungalow came into view
With my mother's gardening shoes
And a flower *** or two
How I loved this moment
My heart turned to glee
All my inside whispered
Soon be here with thee.

Love Mary your daughter **
For my darling mother Grace Emily Westbrook.
Mary Gay Kearns Jan 2018
When the hour is darkest,
And not a wind comes near,
Know that you are complete,
And who gives a care.

Because, by truth, few are stirred,
Most, complacently out of ear,
Only those, who hear the drums,
Say this life can't always be sung.

Love Mary ***
93 · Feb 2018
Cocktail sticks
Mary Gay Kearns Feb 2018
Summer has arrived,
I see you dancing in the rain
Outside a Soho Bar
Gorgeous woman
Humour sharp as ice
Heels longer than cocktail sticks;
It's five  in the morning
And your shopping
Food to start the day.
The train rattles
Jangling the wrist bands
You uncross your legs
Unlatch the carriage door
The children  are dressing
Bags scatter the worktops
You grab two hands
To walk the half mile
To school.


Love Mum **
93 · Apr 2018
It is so
Mary Gay Kearns Apr 2018
When you are not understood
Like the clock stopping its ticking
Yet still there in the hall
As substance without voice
And then there is a turning away.

For no longer all that expectation
An empting of oneself.
Like the snail's silver trail
A relic from the past
Deposited on a garden path.

Love Mary x
93 · Jan 2019
If I could.
Mary Gay Kearns Jan 2019
The hurt came
Unknown to me
But I felt it
You gave it to me.

Love Mary xxxx
93 · Jan 2018
Gertie
Mary Gay Kearns Jan 2018
GERTIE.  

A family of nine
Mother died
Father took a gun but no one knew
He blew
For the sorrow was too much
I heard.
But you my children's Nana
With your country life
Potato digging
Outside toilet
Did not expect
A Rolls Royce
You came to visit regularly
And at our door
My children stood
Arms wide for your smile
The smell of lipstick
On their cheek
At each third weekend
Roast beef in paper bag
Toys and sweeties galore
At first I found it hard
Different flesh I suppose
But came to love you
As my own
A second mother
Not home grown.

And when you died
At eighty
From a brain tumour
I felt I had lost
Someone I could trust
Stoic saviour of my soul
Whose knitting
I have still.

Love Mary

To Aunty Betty my children's wonderful Nana from Walthamstow. Thank you for all your love and I m
93 · Feb 2018
Just on the turn
Mary Gay Kearns Feb 2018
The waves tickled the beach with their coming
Just on the turn, gathering shells and shingle
The sand was sloppy, waterlogged,
You watched me skip along the bay
A brief honeymoon in a homemade wedding dress
With the bouquet of pink roses in a guest room vase
They must have surmised our new status
I felt surprisingly shy.


Love Mary **
Our wedding day at WestWittering in the seventies
Katie as yet hidden inside me .
93 · Apr 2018
The Peacock
Mary Gay Kearns Apr 2018
Until March the Peacock stayed in
Keeping his eyes to himself.
Afraid of the rain and coldness of earth
The snowy harsh ice.

But Spring filled his garden with flowers
The trees fluttered with bees
And the sunshine on his feathers
Asked him to open his wings, please!

For a Peacock is a man of display
Loved the people as that passed
Stalked the grass of his grounds
And fanned us all at last.
Monks Lane I.oW.
93 · Jan 2019
Behind
Mary Gay Kearns Jan 2019
What was it I found in those words
Spoken with such grace
Given under the lavender
And behind a privet hedge.

Was it that knowledge is nothing
And kindness flows down a path
And roses grow round doorways
And the truth lasts and lasts.

Love Mary ***
92 · Mar 2018
Poets a question.
Mary Gay Kearns Mar 2018
Please does anyone know a poem
Called " TheWhite Page " or "The Blank Page" or
Maybe verse.
I think it may have been written by Wallace Steven
Or a philosopher.
It is a beautiful piece about the impossibility
Of capturing thought.
And has echoes of the sea and crashing
Waves at bottom of cliffs.

Please can you find it for me
Before I depart .
It says so much
And I need to hear it one
Last time.

Love Mary ***
Mary Gay Kearns Jun 2019
Your learning to read my Evelyn
Its not easy at first
Starting are phonics to find
Then sight words behind
One must look and say
To end the day
And pictures help
The words be spelt
With memorial
Prédiction
A dog and a mat
And sleepy cat.

Love Mary **
Mary Gay Kearns Mar 2018
Between my heart and the page
There isn't any gap
The page needs no looking
My heart does that
It flies there inside me
Strokes across an age
Gives the world a truthfulness
That is handmade.

Love from Mary x
92 · Feb 2020
Lilies
Mary Gay Kearns Feb 2020
Lilies
Will you wait by the lilies side
In your flowery shirt
Wait for me by the church
In the country road, casually,
And carry me home at last
Never, longer to be alone.

Love Mary xxxx
92 · Jun 2019
Edward Thomas
Mary Gay Kearns Jun 2019
Words - Poem by Edward Thomas


Out of us all
That make rhymes
Will you choose
Sometimes -
As the winds use
A crack in a wall
Or a drain,
Their joy or their pain
To whistle through -
Choose me,
You English words?

I know you:
You are light as dreams,
Tough as oak,
Precious as gold,
As poppies and corn,
Or an old cloak:
Sweet as our birds
To the ear,
As the burnet rose
In the heat
Of Midsummer:
Strange as the races
Of dead and unborn:
Strange and sweet
Equally,
And familiar,
To the eye,
As the dearest faces
That a man knows,
And as lost homes are:
But though older far
Than oldest yew, -
As our hills are, old, -
Worn new
Again and again:
Young as our streams
After rain:
And as dear
As the earth which you prove
That we love.

Make me content
With some sweetness
From Wales
Whose nightingales
Have no wings, -
From Wiltshire and Kent
And Herefordshire, -
And the villages there, -
From the names, and the things
No less.
Let me sometimes dance
With you,
Or climb
Or stand perchance
In ecstasy,
Fixed and free
In a rhyme,
As poets do.
92 · Jan 2018
No back step
Mary Gay Kearns Jan 2018
We met in the Natural History Museum
I was sure it was her.
Beautiful blonde hair
Cut Cilla Black style.
Her sister, too,
Who had lived in the flat
Above a sweet shop.
Now with two children,
The girl the image of Carol.
I did not speak
For fear of awakening the past.
Just left and took up my good life.

Love Mary ***
91 · Feb 2018
Sally- Ann
Mary Gay Kearns Feb 2018
Unassuming beauty
A manner quiet as May
Gentle in her kindness
Grateful in her ways
A life lived in Caring
For those that she loves
Undemanding peace maker
Saviour to the cubs.

Love Grandma Mary ***
91 · Feb 2018
And I turned around
Mary Gay Kearns Feb 2018
I remember you
Do you remember me
We were just together
But we shouldn't be
Then you sat me down
And you touched my hand
Then you sat me down
And I turned around
And my heart did leap
The words were shy
Then you sat me down
I began to cry
In a silent place
We then embraced
Then I turned around
And I found your knee
And what was forbidden
Had to be.
I remember you
Do you remember me.


Love Mary **
91 · May 2019
Crystal.
Mary Gay Kearns May 2019
Standing on the bridge looking down stream
The sunlight a curtain through weeping leaf
Trailing their ends in the moving slowness
Of a shallow children filled patch of crystal.

Love Mary **
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