Can you feel the place where I got off?
It was in a bookcase between two others
That spoke to me of a sadness carried
Tucked warmly away
So it gave protection.
You can only be hurt once
After that a switch turns down
And though you may hear the words
It is just a passing nod
And a picking up of skirts
Can you feel the place where I got off?

Love Mary x

If I had been better made
You would not have been born.

Love Mary ***

The pottery shop at Freshwater
Glassworks at Freshwater
Touching glass
For Nuska

I saw you for the first time on turning,
Watching this magician ascend,
Flowing through the air on stilts,
My heart a beating cabaret.

Returning, I knew this my breaking,
And the sheets contain our bones,
For then you were still in the keeping,
But now in my arms I enfold.

Love Mary ***

I close my eyes
And dip again
Feel the moments lie within
Move into space
Dressed in lace
The loveliness of your face.
I close my eyes and look again
What was imagined
At an end
Yet the glow
That you showed
I find it in the words we told.

In memory of Roy Orbison.

Love Mary

I never got out of my nursery rhyme books
Daffy down dilly is still coming to town
But wearing bright leggings and a plastic crown
Little Boo Peep has lost her sheep
But does not want to find them
**** Robin sings out of tune
But nobody tells him it is too crude
The three little kittens threw away
Their mittens and mother began to cry
And if your look in the garden
You will find Mary Quite Contrary
And Ted in a flower bed
They have forgotten their *****.

Love mad Grandma ***

When you break
Save me the pieces.


Love Mary **

When you hear the first seagull
You know you are going to live
That a land awaits your calling
And humanity stood you strong.

Both good and bad a humanitarian
Responds from that place beyond
Where heart is moved into action
A courage braver than life’s song.

So others may continue their joys
In a freedom given back to them
Not in the hope of victories
But the glory of returning Peace.

Love Mary x

Out in the garden is the place to be
Cutting and pruning the old oak tree
Edging the grass to where it should be
Hoping the sunshine will again be me.


Love Mary

How far do you have to go to get to the end of the world ?
A questioned I asked, with such naivety, when I was a child .
Of course I was thinking about distance, not space and time.
Neither of the travelling one has to do in ones mind to survive.

My mother told me the world was round and not flat
And I imagined walking its circumference in endless circles,
But how to cross all the blue dividing the land into shapes.
And if I got a ***** could I dig through to Australia and
How long would it take me and could it really be done?
Questions of physicality and gravity, the planets and moon.

Growing into ones twenties, questions become more metaphysical
About the meaning and purpose of our lives, the way we conduct
Ourselves, relationships with others and most of all falling in love
And that takes most of our middle years’ of thinking, so  when we fall upon late middle age with declining health, questions change.


In search of kindness we look to others, our neighbours, the community, the health service, a local church, reference books,
The internet to find answers to many unanswered questions.
And there on paper are numerous suggestion, diets , ideas but
Nowhere is there any real help, love or care.

Our questions become primeval, and when there are no answers
To desperation we ask WHY!  Realising how naivety led us along
An unprepared path and how happily we basked in that joy not
Knowing the real truth of how all our questions would be left
Empty. And now I need to know how best to die and no one knows.

Love Mary x

Mum I never a got a chance to say goodbye
I felt you wouldn't want me there
Standing by your side
I knew you would know
The end was in sight
And as never ready for heaven
It would not be right.

Dying is not a picture house
Or time  for voice transmitters
So I sat by a vase of flowers
And thought of you for ever.

And in the many years
That have past since your death
Have put you on Facebook
The place you'd love the best.

I hope I was right.

Love Mary **

Your sound

Listen each morning,
To the creaking of the bed,
A body turning in its waking;
Cars clip on as the street lights,
Glow colder into day;
I hear the door handle turn,
Feet pad down the stairs,
To the coffee jar and toasted bread;
The aroma drifts upwards,
Stiring my senses.
This familiarity is you,
The person I trust.

For Rog love Mary **

Float those fingers across my mind
Do not dally in the sad alleyways
For we are always friends
And the dappled Maple
Has been our glade.

Mornings bringing shades of green
Flickering on our window pane
For we are always friends
And the dappled Maple
Has been our glade.

Love Mary **

Why If you could have did you not
Find in the Willow tree that spot
Where the light flickers on silver stem
Showering its wisdom on all men.

Love Mary x

I use to to call you funny boy
Because you made me laugh
With that wide smile
And cheeky grin
Red hair like a Cabbage Patch doll.

Clever with puzzles on the floor
Computer games you adored
Always shy when I called
School reports I could applaud.

All the teachers thought you bright
Gave you prise for your insight
But they did not yet see
The hidden qualities to be.

On your bike on the green
Travelling round with a team
Many friends you did have
Turned into a likely lad.

From that quiet and shy child
Something different did emerge
Clever , yes, without a doubt
But cared little for convention's shout.

Dyed your hair bright blonde
Wearing earrings wasn't wrong
All the teachers turned to see
Someone cheeky as could be .

To my funny boy, Kasper, love Grandma xxxx

Evelyn floated in today wearing her yellow frock,
She looked like a daffodil being blonde on top,
Could not wait to see her toys the ones she left
behind,
Stones and shells and pretty gems small hands
Did find.
Played as perfectly as any child, her imagination
Flowed,
Put the little people in a boat and sent them
Off to row,
Rabbit jumped in, too, to join the happy throng,
Thank you sweet Evelyn for your merry song.


Love Grandma ***

She went in search of truth
As if it would be given up easily
For what it is worth
It does not succumb to questioning
But is bedfellow to lies
Which breeds on its passion.

And she watched them melt
Into each other’s arms
And all the tears she cried
Filled only a silver tea cup.

Love Mary x

Give back the tree that stood by the gate
Casting its shadow to the south
Cutting hedges in half
Protecting the smallest of animals
From the hottest sun.

You have been a horizon from a silled room
A fragrance guided by light
Tomorrow's promise of another
And the gap left is a silence
Remembered when I cry .

So we let them fall out
You and me by the fire
From jumble sales
I’d been riding my bike
Rummaging through
Viewing everything that glittered
Tipped over, scrambled, opened closed boxes
Hot it was with coffee and teas served at three o’clock.
How we loved these times
Surprises from other’s shelves.

Love Mum

On the platform as the sun rises
Bald heads crowd into carriages
Girls with glasses and painted lids
Hold onto iPads and ear phone hoods
A half awake baby feeds at the breast
Of a working mother hurriedly dressed
And scratch chews biscuits on the floor.
Meanwhile in the corridor of time
Millie lifts up her jumper
To show Tim her chickenspot spots
Now crusted over with calamine
No longer contagious.
Before entering Euston
The train waits ten minutes
At a red light.
And for the rest of the day
Nothing goes right.

Love Mary x

I sleep with all those disappointed
Who failed in fighting for truth
A funeral, a purging hurricane
My body a casket of flowers.

Love Mary x

I wrote a list of many a yard
To be followed to the rule
A list to give my short life
A vision of a truth.

It extended all the inches I knew
Held tight to every child
Started at the top of my head
And fell with the evening star.

Love Mary x

Finding words that fit
And do remember all the hours
The first where we did met
And take my hand a gentle curve
Down a shady lane,
And kiss my brow under the bough
Where we use to be
And yet I have few words to speak
Of hands with strength to dear
But darling you are my tender one
Stay forever near.

Love Mary x

He did not drink
But sat at the bar
Waiting for her potato
The one she had daily.

Their life, the pub, he.
The potato was a food
To alleviate the painful
He gave it with his love.

Love Mary ***

I remember the flee circus
At the time I was only ten
By sixteen I began to laugh
But don’t know what it means.

I think the humour very rare
It caught you in the armchair
Only elephants venture there
To make industrial underwear.

Love Mary ***

Paper Bag .

In a cupboard above the fridge,
Containing dinner plates,
And useful letters,
Stamped with dates,
Was a shelf,
Deep and wide,
With hidden things,
Kept inside.
The cupboard had a door,
And a shiny latch,
Not actually forbidden,
To open that catch.

And so it fell on a Summer's day,
That mother peeped inside,
Feeling as she often did,
For the bag of sweetiepies,
And all the day she nibbled,
Tempted by the taste,
The nearness of the sweetness,
She could not erase.
By four o'clock she worried,
The bag was getting thin,
Better go out shopping,
To replace the toffees in.
And so it was that father,
With his generous heart,
Offered in the evening ,
The sweeties,
Without remark.

I too ate the sweeties but never let the bag get too thin.
Love to my dear parents Grace and Bill  from Mary **

Private people you know the best
They leave out what is unintended
The bits of lives you never ask for
So free is this space that friendship
Flourishes unhindered to imagine.

Love Mary xxxx

Two voices catch together
Round the kitchen door
Neither spelt out what
Love could be or try to
See.

Love Mary ***

If I could leave behind Beauty
In whatever form that may be
The fall of light across a curtain
An apple on a pear tree
Putting together
Moments  of minute grace
Privileges unspoken
Things that only I can grasp
Then to this world I was not useless
But like a fallen Autumn leaf
Beauty in its structure
Though its life maybe but brief.

Love Mary ***







Love Mary

He sat quietly in the parking lot
The unprotesting man
With a chess set on his knee
Radio four to please
And Beethoven spinning out the widow.

I flicked up my skirts and flew
Straight into the arms of Masaccio
Landing at the foot of his Madonna
And two angels.
The halo of the Christ child iridescent
Elation graced me, I thought
What marvellous balance
The position of these angels
Then gravitated down
To the unprotesting man
And knew this was love
In the highest .


For my Roger love Mary ***

Sunflowers have no reason
To feel sad
Their petals fall off
Leaving seeds for next year.

For us it is different
Our endings filled with tears
Our hearts break the silence
Our love was it all.

I'd rather been a sunflower
Its seeds fed to the birds
Its flowers giving magnificence
To one and all.


Love Mary ***

Farewell to an idea
In a way
We are just this
Concepts, imagination and sound
You see me but I can't be found
I think I know who I am
But the I evades the me
Leaving a collection of hours
Somewhere between the stars
I lived a life with you
Happily we made a crew
In a random,spectacular Que.

Love Mary , Mum , Grandma xxxxxx

Sitting in this room with me,
Resting on leather seat,
Is the partner of my life,
A gentle man at peace.

I love you my darling
Roger from your Mary
XxxxxX

From Totland to Alan Bay.

Climbing by path and road
Until we reached the edge
When then by turning found
It leaving the chalky cliff.

And follow out across the fields
A view to tip the eyes,
Heavenly laden with wild parsley
And fluttering butterflies.

The accent so gradual as not to tire
With sunshine overhead
The summit came slowly into sight
As did what had been hid.

Dresses blowing in the breeze
Clung all about our knees
Salty spray misted the air
And the seagulls squawked away.

Then down we looked towards Alan Bay
All glittering foaming sea
The colliding of the coloured pebbles
A wildness and free.

All our senses did explode
Our hearts began to beat
For here lay so much loveliness
Just below our feet.

Love Mary ***

A star sat on my eiderdown to dwell
And in delight it opened up its spell.

Love Mary

Evelyn
For you are beautiful
Unknown mystery
Washed in the waters
Blown by a breeze.

Waking each day
To the sound of cat's purring
The temperature of sunlight
Through curtained leaves.

Can you hear our loving
Feel together our song
We ride on your heartbeat
Shape ourselves around your body.

This is now
Between today and soon after
We wait in the doorway
Of futures unlaced.

Love Grandma

Without tenderness the world dies
For it is the only emotion
That prevents evil
It is the most powerful
Incorporating compassion
But not intellectually based
Coming from a deep sense
Of the fragility of things.
Unfortunately it may be selective
In fact usually is
And as such weakened
By virtues of taste.


Love Mary ***

Breaking into the garden shed
The children found a collection
Of old toys, so glad to see them
Washed and restored they play
Taking squirrel for a walk and
Putting up the old tent to hide .

Love Mummy ***

A photograph captures  a heart ,
It is a sensation
A fixture in space
It tells a story but not of the sitter
Or scene that is taken
But imagination
The thrill of captivation
The concentration of inspiration,
So when you look at a photograph
It is the artist you see
Colliding with what could be.

Love Mary

The road lay like swansdown
under a light leaflet of snow
The corner a curvaceous cut
Stright towards the stars
Beauty bearing truth
Nature has its own.


Love Mary ***

Delirious.

No one ever realises, knows,
Other than in retrospect,
The significance of their action,
How the years will mount up,
Spilling this moment,
Out across the foundation of their lives.

There I was delirious with happiness,
Seventeen and a bit and skipping,
Running in the dark,
To tell,
To tell someone my news.
Circumstance did not touch ground,
Merrily I was oblivious,
As the door opened to the crying of a child
I stepped in,
Announcing my news with a smile,
Trembling with fear of this,
Holding arms she gathered me in,
I joined the clan,
Fell into the limitation,
As she had before,
And thousands before we were even born.
Her mother smiled, another bit of guilt lifted;
I came from a good home.

As I left hearing my footsteps
On the wet streets and creeping into bed,
My innocence dissipated,
The next day, the beginning,
The reality took away that joy,
Leaving the news to be broken
To the grandparents of my
Unborn child.

Love  Mary

Thank you dear Roger for being the father of that child and giving me a good life.

I took my friend Sam to school
He did not know what to do
I sat him in a wooden chair
Then turned around he wasn’t there.

I crept out the classroom door
Scrambled along on all fours
Came to the water tap
There was Sam sapping that.

Love Mary x

Have we always been of a hostile kind
With battlefield egos too enormous
For sorry
And the soiled linen of deceit lies in black bags
Festering
And the good huddle in corners
Trying and trying
To find the beginning
Saddened I am at this now world
But perhaps it was an illusion
Selfishness lines our hearts
Not fur
And steel
Crushes our souls.


Love Mary ***

On a beach in silver
Sat the fair skin child
Sea bells on her feet
Pearls round her hair

Out came ‘tea-stain’
With his yellow cup
Offered fair one sips
Drippity drip, drip.

Love Mary x

She never had big enough eyes,
That's what I thought looking in the mirror,
And they were blue, so in photos
Always looked faded.
They were taken from my father,
The colour of speedwell in the meadows,
My mother's were hazel ,nearly brown.
Like my brothers.
Eyes are the entry to the soul it is said.
Over the years I came to like them.
Quiet eyes that lay on the surface of a canvas,
A painting created by a friend,
Who saw the beauty in them.

Thank you Ian for my  painting .
Love Mary **

This house on the corner with a tree
A bright green tree with fingered leaves
Is the last place for me to close a door
Pick a dandelion from a circle of grass.

A destination miles from an arrival
Where all doors keep open to the blue
Complétion of a life, my last window
To look out of and sit here with you.


Love Mary **

To do your best at chess
You have to wear a vest
With a picture of a score
Could you want for more!
A tie with a pin
Helps you trophies win
Now you have a drawer
With T - shirts galore
And shelves full of more
Momentos than you can store
Two hundred chess sets
For garden and shed
And a tray with a pattern
Given by my dad.


Love Mary **

Sorry for the inconvenience
Forgive the trouble
Tried all sorts
To do my best
Watch me flickering
As I say goodbye
You were the best lights
I could ever buy.

Love Mum ***

My good girl.

Shining brown hair with a hint of chestnut
Straight and silky and a sharp cut fringe
Sometimes in black beribboned plaits
Or two bunches showing your ears.
An elfin face cupped in my hands
Slenderly graceful you are still
You are my good girl.

Embracing life joyfully, you smiled
Through days of schoolwork
Touching the world with sunshine
Making all seem bright and clear,
Loving daughter, my first of three
You came to start our family
This is my good girl.

And yet you are many things
Other than my good girl.
You mind an encyclopaedia of answers,
Your heart a lover of nature,
A social activists,
You crochet beautiful blankets
Teach and make ceramic pots
And love to curl up with a book.

Love and thank you My Katie .
From Mum ***

A bird, not heard, flying high, some sky
Over meadow, above sea, see snow, landfill
So flap the palest of wing up lifted it sings
His secret only known is carried into flow.

Love Mary ***